'MARRIAGE' In The NEWS- February 2008: The REAL Proposal For Marriage magazine

What happens when the woman proposes on the leap year day, February 29?

What happens when the woman proposes
Just when a chap gets comfy in a long-term relationship, along comes the day he dreads - when she can propose The Times Online, February 29, 2008
Today tradition permits women to pop the question to men. This custom has dubious origins. In 5th-century Ireland, St Bridget, then the Mother Superior of a nunnery, demonstrated her ignorance by complaining to St Patrick that men took too long to propose, and that women should have an opportunity. Refusal hit the chap in his pocket to the tune of a 100-punt fine, which sounds like a small fortune. But this is small fry compared with how much a modern guy can lose if he says “yes”. A long-term relationship with a woman who doesn't display signs of borderline personality disorder can be fantastic. It offers companionship of the “you and me against the world - we attack at dawn” kind, foible-driven sex, a pleasant-smelling home, admission to your social set's “couples only” dining club, and the cool confidence needed when dealing with work experience girls in backless dresses. In the 21st century it's not uncommon for couples to go as far as procreating and/or mortgaging without tying the knot. We men love to jam ourselves into a cosy little rut - witness the indentation of our butts upon the sofa - so the functional long-term relationship is pretty much an ideal situation. But wedlock comes with financial obligation. The bottom line is: if you're married, she can have half your money. Maybe more. . . . When it comes to matters of the heart I'm a complete coward. As are most men. The most successful cowards operate by avoiding terrifying situations - such as being proposed to - before they even arise. So here are some sure-fire ways to avoid today's doomsday scenario. . . .

Five tips for breaking up and getting back together

Five tips for breaking up and getting back together SheKnows.com, By Sharon M. Rivkin, February 29, 2008
Nobody ever said that breaking up is easy. And it's easy to fall right back into "love" and to want to get back into your routine again. Who doesn't tend to remember the good times over the hard times. It doesn't hurt though to get back in to see why you both originally decided to move on in the first place. . . . One of the hardest tasks we face in a relationship is leaving. A more difficult undertaking is staying out. “Maybe it wasn’t so bad,” “Maybe I didn’t try hard enough,” “Maybe he/she could change after all,” “Maybe I could put up with more than I thought, after all I do love him/her!” When we leave our partner, we’re relieved (at first, that is) because it’s usually been a long time coming, and we’re just glad it’s over and done with. However, after some time passes, our doubts and loneliness creep in, and we start to think differently about the love we left behind. “After all, even though there were bad times, there were also good times.” And “when we were together, it was – at one time - loving, comfortable and warm.” But now that we’re away from our partners, we often paint an unrealistic picture of how it used to be. Anything seems better than the scary, lonely, and helpless feelings that are often times experienced after a relationship ends. So back in we go to try again, usually against our better judgment and against the advice of our close friends. But take heart in knowing that each time we go back in and find ourselves in the same stuck place (which is usually inevitable), we have still learned something. . .

Reproduction and Public Discourse First Things, By Ryan T. Anderson, February 28, 2008
Benedict XVI recently asked the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith to turn its attention to the ethical challenges that new biotechnologies pose. Aware that the Church “cannot and should not intervene on every scientific innovation,” the pope charged the congregation with “reiterating the great values at stake, and providing the faithful, and all men and women of good will, with ethical and moral principles and guidelines for these new and important questions.” To help direct the congregation’s reflection, he offered two principles: “(a) unconditional respect for the human being as a person from conception to natural death; (b) respect for the originality of the transmission of human life through the acts proper to spouses.” Around the same time the pope gave his address, the Drudge Report highlighted a story out of Newcastle, England, where scientists have created human embryos with three biological parents. Meanwhile, the February 2 issue of the New Scientist noted the work being done with stem cells to create “female sperm” and “male eggs.” This will allow same-sex couples to have children biologically related to both parents, a goal that an accompanying editorial praised while calling the “fears” of critics “largely irrational.” What should all of this tell us?. . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Mother gives birth to baby using frozen sperm from husband killed by cancer FOUR years ago The Daily Mail- UK, By Luke Salkeld, March 19, 2008

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Parenting Issues: Your 16-year-old daughter falls for a divorcee of 36 and wants him to move in. Would you let him? Meet the parents who did The Daily Mail-UK, By Morag Turner, February 28, 2008
When Alison Garcia, 16, announced that she was leaving home to be with her 36-year-old lover, her parents could have been forgiven for hitting the roof. Instead, Sheila and Paul Garcia did something most other parents would find unthinkable. Last month, they invited divorced double-glazing fitter and father-of-one Craig Wright into their home, where he now shares a bedroom with their daughter. According to 51-year-old Sheila, of Northfleet, Kent, who runs a yachting business with her 56-year-old husband, they had no choice in the matter. . . . . . . Sheila, for her part, blames the situation on "society" and "the premature ageing and sexualisation of young people". Rather more enlightening is her admission: "We took the liberal approach to bringing up our child. "We treated her like a mini-adult all along, never taking the attitude that because she was a child we should treat her as less of an equal." But if anything, the experience of the Garcia family is a depressing reminder of the perils of modern parenting, where boundaries and guidelines are so often thrown out of the window and where allowing a child to do whatever they want is somehow seen as the action of a loving, trusting parent. . . . .

16-year-old Alison Garcia falls for a divorcee Craig Wright, 36, and wants to move him in with her in her parents house. Would you let him? Meet the parents who did

Wife Lauren Cleri: I did it for the TV money. 'Moment of Truth' TV Episode Humiliates Hubby Frank

WIFE: I did it for the TV money. 'TRUTH' Humiliates Hubby NY Post, By Jeane MacIntosh and Adam Buckman, February 27, 2008
-- The buxom blond wife of a city cop yesterday said she humiliated her husband in front of 8 million viewers of the reality show "Moment of Truth" - revealing she slept around and wanted to be wed to another guy - in a bid for fame and fortune. But Lauren Cleri, 26, and her baby-faced hubby, rookie NYPD Officer Frank Cleri, 24, of Rockland County, said after appearing on the Fox show Monday night, they came away without any prize money, no immediate job offers for her - and a potentially irrevocably broken marriage. . . After admitting that she cheated on Frank, too, and netting another $100,000, she was asked if she thought she is a good person. She answered, "Yes," but the lie-detector test said she was lying. She lost all of the money. Lauren said she had been called by a casting agent months ago about appearing on the show and, "I didn't think it was going to be this big a deal, because I thought so many people are doing it, we're not going to stand out." The pair said they had planned to share any money she won. But the show's executive producer, Howard Schultz, said Lauren Cleri told him later that "she doesn't want a relationship [with her ex or her husband]. "She wanted out of her marriage, and she wanted to . . . tell the truth," Schultz told The Post. . . .

Is Angelina Driven to Be a Compulsive Mother?
Need for Babies Can Signal Depression or Even Manipulation, Experts Say ABC News, By Susan Donaldson James, February 27, 2008
As Hollywood buzzes about whether actress Angelina Jolie is expecting her fifth (and second biological) child, some observers are asking whether celebrities such as Jolie who collect babies is a sign of deeper problems. "Following a bout with depression, the compulsion to have kids can be a way of self-medicating," California psychologist Lara Honos-Webb told ABCNEWS.com. "In essence -- a distraction and diversion from the inner feeling of emptiness." . . . Jolie is not the first Hollywood celebrity to display her children like jewels. Actress Mia Farrow's life was strikingly similar. . . . . Jolie and Farrow fit the classic profiles of those who hide unrecognized depression behind pregnancy and adoption, according to Honos-Webb. Having babies can sometimes keep personal problems at bay. . . Celebrity columnist Ted Casablanca of the E! Network told ABCNEWS.com that Jolie's compulsive mothering has more to do with manipulation."She is a fiercely independent woman, the most independent big star in Hollywood," he said. He sees more parallels between Jolie and Elizabeth Taylor, the stunning actress who had four children — one of them adopted — and eight husbands. . . . . Though employable, neither woman had moneymaking careers when each turned to husbands and children to create a new image. "This is really an independent way of cementing and giving her a foothold in another world that never has anything to do with the movie business," he said of Jolie who doesn't seem to mind the gossip and photographs of her children. "She lives for it. She's a brilliant saleswoman." "She is a woman who wants to be beholden to no one," according to Casablanca, who maintains Jolie is "still working out what happened with her father" and is destined to leave Pitt. . . .

Is Angelina Driven to Be a Compulsive Mother? Need for Babies Can Signal Depression or Even Manipulation, Experts Say

In praise of the 'ordinary' woman: It's time to embrace being Miss Average. Being 'average' does not need to be linked with failure

In praise of the 'ordinary' woman: It's time to embrace being Miss Average The Daily Mail- UK, By Kathryn Knight, February 27, 2008
Wallis Simpson once observed that a woman could 'never be too rich or too thin', and spent much of her life in slavish pursuit of both states. By and large, the former Duchess of Windsor appeared to succeed in her endeavours - certainly in the latter if the photographs of her mind-bogglingly waspish waist are anything to go by. She just never looked particularly happy about it, the same photographs revealing a red-lipsticked mouth set in a permanently thin, hard, gloomy line. Wallis wouldn't thank us for pointing it out, but her natural heir is Victoria Beckham, a woman who once looked like a perfectly attractive girl-next-door type but who increasingly resembles a sleek, scowling android given an all over hose-down with the plastic coating they use on wicker furniture. Nonetheless, contemporary wisdom has it that the Victoria Beckhams of this world have got it sussed. She has, after all, morphed by sheer force of will into an ultimate version of herself, a walking testament to the worship of superlatives. Success is about being the slimmest, prettiest, cleverest and wealthiest (Victoria is, admittedly, pushing it on the middle two). The odd thing is that it doesn't seem to help her with the quality that is arguably the most important: the happiest. It begs the question of when being ordinary got such a bad press. After all, some of the most contented women I know are average in the nicest possible way. . . . .

Pro-life demonstrators listen to speakers as they stand in front of the US Supreme Court to mark the 35th anniversary of Roe vs Wade, January 22, 2008

Artist hanged herself after aborting her twins The Telegraph, February 26, 2008
An artist killed herself after aborting her twins when she was eight weeks pregnant, leaving a note saying: "I should never have had an abortion. I see now I would have been a good mum." Emma Beck was found hanging at her home in Helston, Cornwall, on Feb 1 2007. She was declared dead early the following day - her 31st birthday. Her suicide note read: "I told everyone I didn't want to do it, even at the hospital. I was frightened, now it is too late. I died when my babies died. I want to be with my babies: they need me, no-one else does." The inquest at Truro City Hall heard that Miss Beck had split up with her boyfriend, referred to as "Ben" after he "reacted badly" to the pregnancy. She saw her GP before the termination, but missed an appointment at a hospital in Penzance. She then cancelled, but later turned up to an appointment at a clinic at Royal Cornwall Hospital in Treliske. The counsellor was on holiday so a doctor referred Miss Beck to a pregnancy counselling telephone service eight days before carrying out the abortion when she was eight weeks pregnant, the inquest heard. The coroner, Dr Emma Carlyon, ordered that the identities of the doctor who performed the abortion and her lead consultant be kept secret. The inquest heard that Sylvia Beck, the victim's mother, wrote to the hospital after her daughter's death, saying: "I want to know why she was not given the opportunity to see a counsellor. "She was only going ahead with the abortion because her boyfriend did not want the twins. "I believe this is what led Emma to take her own life - she could not live with what she had done.". . . .

RELATED ARTICLE & COMMENTS: The Suicide of Emma Beck and Silence No More Townhall.com, By Michelle Malkin, February 27, 2008

RELATED BLOG: Real Inconvenient Truths.... About Abortion The John Birch Society, By Selwyn Duke, February 26, 2008
Conception is obviously a seminal point, for it isn’t development, but that which initiates it. It’s much as with fire. Would we say that a fire is only a fire when it’s of use to us, such as when we need heat? No, once you have the necessary ingredients — combustible materials, oxygen, a spark and ignition — a fire is born. It may develop, grow and spread, but a fire is a fire no matter how small. And it will then continue until it runs its course and exhausts itself — or until it is snuffed out. . . .

RELATED BLOG: Abortion: An "inconvenient truth" within Marriage The Real Proposal Magazine, January 26, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: The Negro Project: Margaret Sanger's EUGENIC Plan for Black Americans Life Education And Resource Network (L.E.A.R.N), By Tanya L. Green
Margaret Sanger aligned herself with the eugenicists whose ideology prevailed in the early 20th century. Eugenicists strongly espoused racial supremacy and "purity"," particularly of the "Aryan" race. Eugenicists hoped to purify the bloodlines and improve the race by encouraging the "fit" to reproduce and the "unfit" to restrict their reproduction. They sought to contain the "inferior" races through segregation, sterilization, birth control and abortion.

RELATED ARTICLE: The SLED Test – Four Top Arguments Heartlink.org, By Steve Wagner
We all agree that toddlers are valuable human beings with rights. Yet the unborn differ from toddlers in only four ways, and the first letters of each of these differences spell an easy-to-remember acronym, SLED (Size, Level of Development, Environment, Degree of Dependency).

RELATED SITE: THE CASE FOR LIFE: Like You Have Never Heard It Before
Only One Issue: The abortion controversy is not a debate between those who are pro-choice and those who are anti-choice. It’s not about privacy or trusting women. To the contrary, the debate turns on one key question. What is the Unborn?

RELATED ARTICLE: What Do You Know About Roe v. Wade? Family.org, By Shana Schutte
Like many Americans, you know Roe v. Wade legalized abortion, but you may know little else

RELATED SITE: Abort73.com: The Case Against Abortion

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WARNING: Contains graphic post-abortion pictures. Be Warned! The Visual Evidence is Disturbing.

Q & A: Finding love again:
Lesley Garner advises a woman who has found love again at the age of 71, but at what cost? The Telegraph- UK, By Lesley Garner, February 26, 2008
Dear Lesley, I'm not sure that anyone can solve my problem, but I would be grateful for your wisdom in any case. I am 71 and in love all over again with a man I loved years ago. We had two affairs in the Seventies that ended because our partners were unwell and we had young children. We both went on to get married again, but not to each other, and we each have a child from our second marriage. Over the years I have thought of this man, David, often - and I have never stopped loving him. My marriage has been a contented one. My first husband died after a long illness and my second husband was divorced, with two children of his own. He is a quiet, kind and reliable husband but, for the past 15 years, we haven't had a physical relationship. . . .

Dear Elizabeth, Unlike you, I am so glad I am not 17. One of the advantages of growing older, surely, is that the emotional climate grows calmer. Contentment replaces ecstasy. Warmth and affection replace burning desire. Companionship and tolerance replace agony and despair. Of course, it is completely thrilling to fall in love at any age and get high on one's own supply of intoxicating brain chemicals, but then comes the intolerable withdrawal and pain. At 17 you go into a blind turmoil of anguish and despair. At 71 you would think that life had given you the experience, wisdom and detachment to recognise this torment for the internal poisoning it is. But it seems not. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE:   What kills sex in a marriage? Look past the stereotypes USA Today, By Sharon Jayson, January 6, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: Our Best Sex Advice: For 20 years Marriage Partnership has offered real, biblical, practical insight for bedroom issues. Here are 20 of the best   Christianity Today- Marriage Partnership, Spring 2008
For 20 years Marriage Partnership has offered real, biblical, practical insight for bedroom issues. Here are 20 of the best. . . . Planning. . . Evaluate priorities. .. . Men and aging. . . .Giving pointers. . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Great 'Sex'pectations: Married couples should enjoy a sexual relationship that is expressed body-to-body, heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul Family.org, By Lysa TerKeurst

RELATED ARTICLE: Myths About Sexless Marriage   Passionate Marriage.com- Marriage & Family Heath Center with Dr. David Schnarch & Dr. Ruth Morehouse

RELATED QUIZ: What's the state of YOUR union: Do You have a sexless marriage? By Drs. David Schnarch and Ruth Morehouse, MSNBC.com

Do men remember their first car better than their first kiss? The Daily Mail- UK, February 25, 2008
Most men remember their first car more than their first kiss, the Mail revealed. In fact, getting their first set of wheels ranked higher than first girlfriends and 18th birthdays in men's memories, according to a survey. So why is your first car so special, and is it really more memorable than your first kiss? Femail asked several well-known men to cast their minds back to both. . . . Ben Fogle, 35, TV presenter and adventurer: First kiss: A first kiss is something we would all like to remember, but should often be forgotten. All my practice on my pillow didn't help. . . . Anton Du Beke, 41, ballroom dancer and star of BBC's Strictly Come Dancing: First kiss: My first kiss was from a very favourable girl called Catherine Grindley outside the swimming baths where I grew up in Sevenoaks, Kent. I was 14 at the time and quite the lad. Catherine was the kind of girl at school who'd kiss you easily and probably show her knickers if you asked her. She had me up against the wall - quite the knee-trembler, and it put me off French kissing for quite a time. . . . Paul Daniels, 70, magician: First kiss: Before I had ever kissed anyone, I always wondered what happened to noses when people kissed - I didn't know where they went. Sure enough, during my first kiss when my head went right so did hers, and when it went left hers did too, until I finally grabbed her head and held it to one side. I remember thinking: "This is good but not as good as card tricks.". . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: British drivers 'more likely to remember their first car than their first kiss' The Daily Mail- UK, By Tom Kelly, February 24, 2008

Mid-life crisis divorces soar, survey finds The Telegraph- UK, By Andy Bloxham, February 25, 2008
The pressure to be happy has seen the number of divorces attributed to a 'mid-life crisis' soar, according to a new survey. And in almost every case, it is the husband who has suffered the desire to recapture the freedom of their youth. An increasing intolerance of unhappiness in middle age was given as the main reason for the shift, which is the fastest growing cause of marriage break-ups. . . Mid-life crisis caused the divorce in 14 per cent of cases surveyed, up from just two per cent in 2006. It is now the second most cited reason for divorce, behind extra-marital affairs, which was responsible for 29 per cent of splits. The third most common reason was the strains caused by everyday family life, which caused 11 per cent of divorces. The survey found that it was men who underwent the crisis in 93 per cent of marriages. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Mind the gap: 'I'm going away.' 'How long for?' 'I don't know...' The Telegraph- UK, By Lisa Forest, February 8, 2008

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Mid-life crisis divorces soar, survey finds

Jenna Bush and fiance Henry Hager have opted to marry at the First Family's Texas ranch

Get me to the ranch on time Boston Globe, By Elinor Lipman, February 25, 2008
I felt inexplicably let down when I heard that Jenna Bush's nuptials would be held in Crawford rather than my preferred venue, the East Room of the White House. Such a concern may suggest Living Page preoccupation with couture and catering, but as Time magazine noted the week Tricia Nixon married Edward Cox, "a White House wedding, whoever the incumbent or the bride, has a certain nimbus of history about it." We need that, don't we, a certain nimbus? The Bushes have presented a united front, but do I detect a note of maternal disappointment in First Lady Laura Bush's wedding explanation, that "It'll be small and private, just what Jenna wants. I think it'll be lovely and simple and just perfect"? What about us, though - the immediate country?. . . . . As the wedding approaches, the popularity ratings of the Bush family will soar. Women will follow this story and they are some of the most disenchanted by the war in Iraq. They will see the president as a father, and a good one at that, and it will give him a reprieve in the popularity polls." A White House wedding is forever. . . .

Tiger Woods hasn’t exactly been derailed by marriage or fatherhood, eh? MerceExtra, Posted by Tim Kawakami, February 24, 2008
Golf isn’t the biggest driver for this blog’s readership–not even Tiger Woods gets the numbers going or those comments popping, unless I can somehow rope Alex Smith or Monta Ellis into the links-land analysis. (And I can’t.) Oh well. This is just too good to ignore, and, as you might know by now, Woods is a particular fascination for anybody who follows golf and loves sports history of any kind. (That would be me.) You’ve probably seen the stats–and I’ve got more down lower:

* Woods’ monster 8 and 7 crushing of Stewart Cink in the finals of the World Match Play Championship today gave Woods victories in his last four PGA Tour starts since last fall, and made it 6 for 6 if you toss in two international wins.

* It was his ninth tournament victory in his last 11 starts, overall.

* It was his 23rd victory in his last 57 starts, world-wide, since the end of the 2004 season.

That’s a .403 winning percentage. That’s better than the Indiana Pacers this season. Winning golf tournaments. –Hmm, end of 2004 season. Why does that ring a bell? Here’s why: That’s precisely when TW married Elin Nordegren–October 2004, at one of the bleakest moments of his great, great, great career (and bleak only in relation to his own greatness). Remember, during TW’s phenom stage, when analysts suggested that pending marriage and fatherhood might be the only things that could test Woods’ focus and possibly derail his march into history? Wrong, apparently. In fact, marriage and fatherhood… have basically made this guy invincible. . . .

Tiger Woods hasn't exactly been derailed by marriage or fatherhood, eh?

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Welcome Twins!

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Welcome Twins! People magazine, February 22, 2008
It's double the baby joy for Jennifer Lopez and husband Marc Anthony: They're the proud new parents of twins, a boy and a girl, Lopez's manager tells PEOPLE exclusively. The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, N.Y. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs. "Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon," Lopez's manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively. They're the first children for Lopez, 38, and the fourth and fifth for Anthony, 39. The couple celebrated the impending births with a baby shower in New York on Jan. 19. "They were just beaming the entire time," said one partygoer. . . . .During the early weeks of her pregnancy, Lopez skillfully ducked the question, even when appearing on TV in October with Diane Sawyer and with David Letterman. Lopez shrugged off the secrecy, telling Harper's Bazaar, "I kind of feel like everybody knew anyway. I was on tour with a bubble gut!". . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: WORLD EXCLUSIVE: See Jennifer Lopez's Twins! People magazine, March 20, 2008

The Bride Wore Very Little The New York Times, By Ruth Ferla, February 21, 2008
The gown was almost wanton — fluid but curvy with a neckline that plummeted dangerously. “It makes me feel sexy and beautiful,” said Natasha DaSilva, who slipped it on for a fitting last week. Cut away at the rear to reveal a tattoo at the small of her back, the dress suggested a languorous night in the honeymoon suite. Except that Ms. DaSilva, who will be married on Long Island in September, plans to wear it at the altar. “Why not?” she asked. “I want to look back in 20 years and feel like I looked hot on my wedding day.” Ms. DaSilva, 26, thinks of herself as adventurous, but not so brash that she is about to cross a line. Dressing for a wedding as if it were an after-party is accepted among her family and friends. “For my generation, looking like a virgin when you marry is completely unappealing, boring even,” she said. “Who cares about that part anymore?” Ms. DaSilva is typical of a growing number of brides flouting convention by flaunting their curves. More vamp than virgin, many are selecting gowns that bare a generous expanse of cleavage, midsection, lower back or thigh, temptress styles that may be better suited to a gala or boudoir than to a church or ballroom. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Exclusive: Valerie Bertinelli Comes Clean About Living a Lie Oprah.com, February 21, 2008
She was America's favorite girl next door. For the first time, actress Valerie Bertinelli opens up about her 20-year rock-and-roll marriage to Eddie Van Halen and her public battle with weight. Tune in Monday, February 25, 2008.

RELATED ARTICLE: The Infidelity Files Day 3: 'Adultery isn't the end - it's a wake-up call' The Telegraph-UK, By Angela Levin, January 23, 2008
In the final part of her investigation into Britain's infidelity epidemic, Angela Levin reveals how wronged partners deal with being cheated on - and how the crisis can improve their relationship.

RELATED ARTICLE: The Infidelity files: Day 2 -'Being unfaithful keeps me happy' The Telegraph- UK, By Angela Levin, January 22, 2008
Continuing her investigation into Britain's adultery epidemic, Angela Levin talks to professional women who have affairs to bolster their marriages - and revitalise flagging sex lives.

RELATED ARTICLE: The Infidelity files: Day 1 - Desperately seeking someone The Telegraph, By Angela Levin, January 21, 2008
In the digital age, having an affair has never been easier. Author Angela Levin spent five months interviewing middle-class professionals for an extensive study that charts the rise of the no-strings-attached* relationship. In the first of a three-part investigation, she reveals why the UK is in the grip of an infidelity epidemic

RELATED ARTICLE: Adultery Is Killing the American Family The Conservative Voice, By Nathan Tabor, Sept 22, 2005

RELATED ARTICLE: THE NEW INFIDELITY: Overworked and Underappreciated, More American Wives Are Seeking Comfort In The Arms Of Other Men Newsweek, By Lorraine Ali and Lisa Miller, August 9, 2004 Issue

RELATED BROADCAST & RESOURCE: Escaping the Lure of Infidelity- Part 1 Focus on the Family, February 7, 2008

RELATED BROADCAST & RESOURCE: Escaping the Lure of Infidelity- Part 2 Focus on the Family, February 8, 2008

RELATED RESOURCE: HOPE & HEALING: Helping Couples Recover from Adultery

When a couple divorce, whose side do you take? Especially when the bride ends up living with the best man The Daily Mail- UK, By Alison Smith Squire, February 21, 2008
Soon after Karen Mears and Kevin Ware married in 1999, he nearly died of a brain haemorrhage. When he recovered she decided he was no longer the man she loved. Shortly after that Karen moved in with the best man. Her behaviour has divided their family and friends. Here, each of those involved give their different stories . . . . .Two weeks after his haemorrhage, when Kevin came out of his coma, I looked into his eyes and knew immediately that the man I loved was no longer there. And even though on my wedding day I had meant every word of my vows - and I'd said that I would be with him in sickness and in health - for me, after his illness, there was no longer a future for us. I can understand some people thinking that sounds very cold. I am sure there are some people who will never understand how I could leave my husband. Believe me, I have asked myself the same question - and still do: how could I leave Kevin when he needed me most?. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Ten Ways to Help a Friend or Family Member Who Is Struggling in Their Marriage Family.org, By Mitch Temple
It's common to know someone whose marriage is in trouble and to be unsure how to help. These 10 practical tips will help you get started helping others.

Children of Sperm Donors Have Rights, Too Townhall.com, By Maggie Gallagher, February 20, 2008
In New Jersey, the state Senate has twice voted to give adopted children access to their original birth certificates, that is, to the names of their biological mothers. Birth mothers would have one year to notify the state that they wish to remain anonymous. Even so, such birth mothers would be compelled by government to provide social, cultural and health information, or else their identities would be released regardless of their consent. Recently, one southern New Jersey newspaper weighed in forcefully in the bill's favor: "This is not too much to ask from a birth mother ... The adoptee's right to this information is as important as protecting the privacy of the birth mother," the editors of the Courier-Post opine. But why pick exclusively on birth mothers? If children have a right to know their own biological parents -- a claim recognized in international human rights law and one to which I am deeply sympathetic -- there is no good reason to limit this claim to the small number of women who accept the agonizing burden of giving life to children they cannot raise. Far more children these days are deprived of knowledge of their origins by a totally difference process: artificial insemination. . . . . My own position on sperm donation is considered beyond the pale. Ideally, before a man becomes a father he ought to be able to persuade some woman to marry him. But consider this an absolute minimum: A man who wants to be a father ought to be able to find some actual live woman who wants to have sex with him. Call it nature's quality control. . . .

Children Of Sperm Donors Have Rights, Too

Pastor Prescribes 30-Day Sex Challenge For Married Couples - Author Hopes To Help Combat Divorce Rates (Click for Related Video)

Pastor Prescribes 30-Day Sex Challenge For Married Couples
Author Hopes To Help Combat Divorce Rates NBC6.net, February 19, 2008
-- A Florida church is urging its married members to have sex every day for 30 days. Pastor Paul Wirth of the Relevant Church said he believes the 30 Day Sex Challenge will help combat America's rising divorce rate. "We wanted to be able to help couples, both married and single, to really refocus their sex lives around what God's principles are," Wirth said. Wirth said he came up with the idea because so many people have told him that they have no time for sex. Single people also have a challenge: They will have to abstain from sex. "We're asking the single people to ... take a break from sex, maybe take a sex detox for 30 days," Wirth said. Pastor Wirth said that while the challenge should rekindle passion and affection in married couples, it will also teach singles to appreciate themselves and their partners without sex. . . .

RELATED VIDEO: Minister to married couples: Sex every day! CNN.com- AP, February 19, 2008

RELATED VIDEO: 30-day SEX Challenge Guide You Tube.com- Relevant Church

RELATED SITE: 30daysexchallenge.com

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Kim & Justin Ritchie: One family, two portfolio -- Five ways you and your spouse can bridge your differences and keep your finances on track

One family, two portfolios
Five ways you and your spouse can bridge your differences and keep your finances on track. CNN Money (Money Magazine), By Carloyn Bigda, February 18, 2008
-- At first glance, Justin and Kim Ritchie seem in perfect financial sync. The couple, who grew up on the same street in Georgia and both went to college in Atlanta, are saving more than half of their combined six-figure income so they can buy a bigger house in their hometown of Bonaire, Ga., cover college tuition costs for sons Giuseppe, 2, and Gianluca, 1, and retire together before they hit 60. Just one problem: Currently the bulk of the couple's savings, some $62,000, is languishing in a money-market fund, and the Ritchies can't agree on the next step. Kim, 27, a production management specialist for the Air Force, says she has a high tolerance for risk. She wants to try for bigger returns on their savings, including buying individual stocks. Justin, 29, a sales manager for a multimedia company, is rattled by recent market losses. Even the couple's visit to a financial adviser was a bust. After reviewing the plan, Justin was overwhelmed and backed out. "It felt too aggressive," he explains. Says Kim: "We're together in marriage, but we have different ideas about the way to go." Alas, as the Ritchies are learning, being in love doesn't guarantee that you and your partner will be financially compatible. . .

A family's struggle against great debt
Ill health, credit cards, a house-load of woes Philly.com, By Harold Brubaker, February 18, 2008
Anthony and Lisa Grande's house stands out in their Levittown neighborhood. "It's the big house," Lisa said when giving directions. The Grandes borrowed more than $100,000 - much of it on credit cards - to double its size four years ago because they wanted enough room for their five children and did not want to move. But now, the Grandes are fighting to stay there, having repeatedly fallen behind on their mortgage payments, which climbed from $1,841 to $2,487. They offer a powerful example of how lax mortgage underwriting, excess credit-card debt, and catastrophic health problems can add up to financial disaster for an American family. The Grande household was among an estimated 1.5 million in the United States that entered foreclosure last year, pushing the national foreclosure rate to 2.7 percent from an average of 1.7 percent between 2001 and 2005. The deflating housing bubble and the subsequent credit crunch made it impossible for many troubled borrowers, such as the Grandes, to refinance and has stalled economic growth. To escape a severe downturn, the Federal Reserve has sharply lowered interest rates, and Congress has promised more than $100 billion in tax rebates to spur consumer spending. The Grandes' problems, however, go far beyond the reach of a federal stimulus package. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Bad Marriage and Foreclosure?
Darren is facing foreclosure. He and his wife were going through a divorce, and they let the house payment go, but now they’re getting back together and want to get the house back. It is a conventional loan and they are seven months behind. Do they have a chance of getting their house back?

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After her life falls apart financially, real estate broker decides to raffle off her four-bedroom house

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A Real Wife, In a Real Marriage
An outspoken, smart black woman or a bossy, emasculating wife? Michelle Obama defies stereotypes, but cannot escape them, either. Newsweek.com, By Raina Kelley, February 25, 2008 Issue
In my junior year of high school, I ran for Student Council president. In my 17-year-old mind, this position was not that different in prestige and power from being president of the United States except that being the head of the Student Council boosted my chances of getting into Yale. I put posters along the hall where most of the black students hung out. Each one featured a drawing of an Oreo and proclaimed: A VOTE FOR RAINA IS A VOTE FOR RACIAL UNITY. I was playing on the conceit that I did not fit the stereotype of a young black woman (I worshiped the "Preppy Handbook" and Gloria Steinem) but was still too dark to be homecoming queen. The response was, well, galvanizing. My classmates were furious with me for being condescending and inappropriate. I realized that stereotypes cannot be controlled unless you think that grabbing a tiger by its tail is controlling it. And as Michelle Obama captures the media's attention, I am reminded of my past foolishness. She is a strong, smart black woman who does not hesitate to speak her mind—and that has been the source of her appeal. But as her husband rises from underdog to front runner, and Michelle becomes more visible and vocal in the campaign, those "feisty dame" stereotypes that had been her strengths might be turning around to bite her. Critics are now taking her to task for being emasculating, sarcastic and bossy—characteristics that are just on the other side of the looking glass from strong, smart, black and female. So now the question is: which stereotype will stick?. . .

Michelle Obama: A Real Wife, In a Real Marriage. Is she an outspoken, smart black woman or a bossy, emasculating wife? Michelle Obama defies stereotypes, but cannot escape them, either.

RELATED ARTICLE: Barack’s Rock: She's the one who keeps him real, the one who makes sure running for leader of the free world doesn't go to his head. Michelle's story. Newsweek CoverStory, By Richard Wolffe, February 25, 2008 Issue
A Particular Mission: Michelle is not part of discussions on policy and ad buys; her role is to keep the candidate's feet on the ground.

RELATED ARTICLE: Q&A: Barack Obama: "I believe in the redemptive death and resurrection of Jesus Christ." Christianity Today, Interview by Sarah Pulliam and Ted Olsen, January 23, 2008

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Katherine Heigl plays the perpetual bridesmaid in '27 Dresses' (Click for Related Trailer)

Three women ask why they are always the bridesmaid never the bride The Mirror- UK, February 15, 2008
So.. what's wrong with me?: Maria Fenn, 28, is a student. She lives in North London with partner James, 27, and is about to be a bridesmaid for the third time... 'Both times when I've been bridesmaid I've caught the bouquet. Yet there is still no sign of me getting married. Although James and I have been a couple for 18 months, we only moved into our flat last week. Living together is the first step toward commitment but our relationship still feels new and marriage is something we haven't discussed yet. I did expect to be married by my mid-20s. Before James I was with someone for five years. But the closest we came to getting married was when he gave me a tiny jewellery box for my birthday. I was expecting an engagement ring but ended up with a necklace. It was the beginning of the end. . . . . . My long engagement has become a joke: Kerry-Ann Scambler, 29, lives in Langley, Berks, with fiance Tom, 34, a builder, and their 16-month-old girl Katharyn. She's about to be a bridesmaid for the fourth time. 'Two years ago Tom proposed. My family had come to visit and he presented me with a beautiful white antique gold ring. In front of them he asked me to marry him. I said yes. The idea was that we would save up for our dream wedding - a traditional church one with a big party for all our friends and family. But I don't think either of us expected we'd have this long an engagement and now it has even become a little bit of a family joke. . . . . . Hopefully next time there's a wedding it will be mine: Danielle Tansey, 28, runs a car valeting firm with her partner Dominic, 25. They live in Colchester, Essex with her son Kieran, six, from a previous relationship and their 19-month-old son Jamie. She's been a bridesmaid three times. Danielle says. . .

Parent Shock: Children Are Not Décor New York Times, By Julie Scelfo, February 14, 2008
WHEN Jacqueline Brown and her husband, Gavin Friedman, were in their early 30s, they lived in a condominium in Santa Monica, Calif., with a black leather Ikea couch Mr. Friedman had bought for law school, a few modest pieces from Pier 1 Imports and assorted hand-me-down furnishings. Within a few years, though, having acquired professional and financial stability — both were litigation associates at prominent law firms — they bought a house in Cheviot Hills, an affluent neighborhood in West Los Angeles, and began remodeling and decorating.During two renovations, each costing more than $100,000, they built a two-sided fireplace to separate the living and dining rooms, put in a wine cellar and installed a sleek maple and granite kitchen. They bought molded-wood chairs in the Arne Jacobsen style, Murano glass pendant lamps and a custom walnut entertainment unit. Ms. Brown, who had become obsessed with interior design in law school, poured heart and soul into the projects. But just as Ms. Brown and Mr. Friedman were establishing their first truly grown-up residence — she was 38, he 37 — Ms. Brown gave birth to their first child, Harrison, a boy who turned out as bouncing as most. Suddenly they were confronted with a question that had never before occurred to them: given the way baby gear and toys take over households, the uncivilized habits of toddlers and the dangers posed by sharp-edged contemporary furniture, could Ms. Brown and Mr. Friedman continue to live their high-design dream?. . . . .

Parenting Issues: Inside the Mind of the Boy Dating Your Daughter New York Times, BY Tara Parker-Pope, February 15, 2008
The stereotype of the 16-year-old boy is that he has sex on the brain. But a fascinating new report suggests that boys are motivated more by love and a desire to form real relationships with the girls they date. The report, published in this month’s Journal of Adolescence, paints a far different picture of teen boys than the stereotype of testosterone-fueled youth. Psychology researchers from the State University of New York at Oswego surveyed 105 10th-grade boys whose average age was about 16. The boys, most of whom said they were heterosexual, were given surveys asking them to select various reasons why they asked girls out, dated and pursued physical relationships. Most of the boys had dating experience, and about 40 percent were sexually active. The boys were asked their reasons for dating and were allowed to mark more than one answer. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: "I wanted to get to know her better": Adolescent boys' dating motives, masculinity ideology, and sexual behavior PubMed.gov- A service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health

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Valentine's Day: Holiday from hell CNN.com, By Diane Mapes, Feebruary 14, 2008
For some, Valentine's Day can be heavenly. For others, it's just plain hell. Take Felicia Sullivan, of Brooklyn. Four years ago, she and her live-in boyfriend -- the guy she thought she would marry -- were having a pre-Valentine's Day brunch when Sullivan leaned over and whispered a few sweet nothings in his ear. "I said, 'I'm so happy to know that you're the one for me. Aren't you glad to know I'm the one for you?' " says Sullivan, 32, who works in marketing. "And there was this silence. And then he was, like, 'I know you're the one for me now. But can you give me until summer to make a final decision?' "Aghast at his response, Sullivan quickly broke things off -- but she couldn't move until she found a new apartment. Home alone on February 14 in the apartment they shared, she decided to snoop through her ex-boyfriend's e-mail and discovered he'd had contact with several other women while they were together. "I've never been a big fan of the holiday," Sullivan says. "But now I typically refer to it as Black Monday..." Sullivan isn't alone in dreading Valentine's Day. Thanks to super-sized expectations and over-the-top commercialization, February 14 has gone from a sentimental aside to a pressure-filled gauntlet lined with chocolate boxes, tennis bracelets and cheesy stuffed bears. "The holiday's designed to make you feel (bad)," says Judy McGuire, author of "How Not to Date.". . . .

The History of Valentine's Day History.com
Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. . . . While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: On This Day: A correspondent discusses St Valentine's day before sending cards became the norm Times Online, February 14, 2008

RELATED PHOTO ESSAY: In pictures: Valentine's Day BBC News, February 14, 2008

Christians Stand for Purity on Valentine's Day Christian Post, By Jennifer Riley, February 14, 2008
Teens, churches and Christian organizations are sending an alternative message of abstinence and purity on the most romantic day of the year, Valentine’s Day. Across the country, youths will make a public stand on their commitment to remain sexually pure until they are married on the Day of Purity, an annual event that coincides with Valentine’s Day. This is the fifth annual Day of Purity for youth. “Students are sending a message to their friends, parents, churches, communities, legislators and the media that it’s time for a positive change in the culture,” said Rena Lindevaldsen, coordinator of the Day of Purity, to LifeNews.com. . . . Each day, some 8,000 American teens are infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD), according to the Day of Purity Web site. Moreover, two-thirds of the 10 million new cases of STD’s this year will be among the 14-25 years old age group. Early sexual experience will result in more than 1 million teenage girls becoming pregnant this year. From this group, many will choose to have an abortion. Some 20 percent of the 1.3 to 1.5 million abortions in America each year are performed on teenagers. . . .

A purity ring is typically embossed with the words, 'True Love Waits'

RELATED ARTICLE: Jonas Brothers take a vow of chastity NY Post- Page Six, February 22, 2008

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RELATED BROADCAST: Sex Has a Price Tag (Part 1)   TruthsThatTransform.org
What have you always wanted to tell your kids about sex? "If you are not married, don't do it. If you are married, go for it with the person you are married to." That is according to author and speaker Pam Stenzel. . . .

RELATED BROADCAST: Sex Has a Price Tag (Part 2)   TruthsThatTransform.org
What does every parent want their teenage daughter to know? If you want respect, you have to demand it. If you demand respect, you get it. That is not something you are going to hear in the popular media but it needs to be told! Pam Stenzel tells you and your teens what you need to know about the facts of life. . .

RELATED BROADCAST: Sex Has a Price Tag (Part 3)   TruthsThatTransform.org
Guess who is having the best sex in this nation? Married Christian monogamous women! What a message for our teenagers! Sadly, they won't hear it in the mainstream media! So, how do you share this vital information with your teen? Pam Stenzel shows you how. . .

RELATED DVD TRAILER: Sex Still Has A Price Tag Featuring Pam Stenzel

Dads DO matter: Why children brought up by BOTH parents are happier and more successful The Daily Mail- UK, By Jenny Hope, February 13, 2008
Children behave better, learn more and are better adjusted if their father is involved in their lives, a major study shows. Researchers found that a good relationship between youngsters and fathers had a positive effect that could last for two decades. In low-income homes, regular contact was also seen to lead to less juvenile crime. Anna Sarkadi, of Sweden's Uppsala University, where the research was carried out, said: "Our detailed 20-year review shows that overall, children reap positive benefits if they have active and regular engagement with a father figure. "We found various studies that showed that children who had positively involved father figures were less likely to smoke and get into trouble with the police, achieved better levels of education and developed good friendships with children of both sexes. "Long-term benefits included women who had better relationships with partners and a greater sense of mental and physical well-being at the age of 33 if they had a good relationship with their father at 16. "It may seem obvious that what's worked for centuries is good for individuals and society, but that's what we found.". . .

RELATED ARTICLE: The Incontrovertible Facts About Fathers Townhall.com, By Janice Shaw Crouse, February 27, 2008

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RELATED ARTICLE: Children need both a mother and a father Rocky Mountain News, By James C. Dobson, Focus on the Family, February 28, 2007

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Validating Valentine's News.com.au By Karen Brooks, February 13, 2008
For those who enjoy the commercialism and use it as an opportunity to be romantic and express or even, in a daring gesture, announce their love, it can be a special time. There are those among us who use the conspicuous-consumption as an excuse to do nothing. Bah humbug, to love (on Valentine's Day at least), they say, and their partners either pretend not to care or hide their hurt by watching re-runs of Bridget Jones's Diary or Casablanca. After all, roses, chocolates, romantic dinners and other intimacies aside, when do we really not want to hear that we're loved? Some would answer when it's prescribed by a calendar event. For them, Valentine's Day turns love into a set of superficial expectations stipulated by corporate forces – ones that insist that love is formulaic. It turns us into Hallmark princesses and knights in shining armour, persuading us that love is a Disney production. Whatever our feelings about Valentine's Day, it's hard to avoid reflecting upon love and relationships and the expression of these – verbal, emotional and physical – specifically on this day. At a time in society when marriage is on the rise, dating services have full books and the internet is clogged by souls searching for mates, there's no doubt that as a culture, we're addicted to love. . . . . So why do so many end up cynical and fatigued, especially about a day dedicated to celebrating all things "lovey-dovey"?. . . . .

Do cholesterol-lowering 'statin' drugs make you stupid?

Health Issues: Do Statins Make You Stupid? New York Times Blog, By Tara Parker-Pope, February 13, 2008
Cholesterol-lowering statin drugs have had a rough time of it lately. There was the headline-making trial of the statin-combination drug Vytorin, which rattled conventional wisdom about the value of lowering cholesterol. Business Week weighed in with a report that asked: “Do Cholesterol Drugs Do Any Good?” And my Well column in Science Times last month pointed out that there’s no data to show that statins prolong the lives of many people who use them. Now, The Wall Street Journal has joined the fray. Health Journal columnist Melinda Beck revisited questions about whether statin drugs have cognitive side effects that leave users, particularly women, with muddled thinking and forgetfulness. “This drug makes women stupid,” Dr. Orli Etingin, vice chairman of medicine at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, declared at a recent luncheon, according to the Journal. Over the years, there’s been a lot of discussion about whether statins affect thinking and memory, but drug makers point out that hundreds of studies haven’t shown a causal link between statins and memory problems. However, anecdotal reports continue to suggest that some patients do develop memory loss while taking the drugs. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Can a Drug That Helps Hearts Be Harmful to the Brain? Wall Street Journal, By Melinda Beck, February 12, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: Great Drug, but Does It Prolong Life?   New York Times, By Tara Parker-Pope, January 29, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: Eating Your Way to Lower Cholesterol The New York Times, By Tara Parker-Pope, January 23, 2008
Lower cholesterol doesn’t have to come from a pill. Although cholesterol drugs are in the news lately, what is getting lost in the discussion is the fact that it’s possible to lower your cholesterol without drugs. It’s just not as easy.

RELATED ARTICLE: What That Cholesterol Trial Didn’t Show   New York Times, By Tara Parker-Pope, January 22, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: Do Cholesterol Drugs Do Any Good? Business Week, By John Carey, January 17, 2008
Research suggests that, except among high-risk heart patients, the benefits of statins such as Lipitor are overstated

RELATED ARTICLE: Metabolic Syndrome Is Tied to Diet Soda The New York Times, February 5, 2008
Researchers have found a correlation between drinking diet soda and metabolic syndrome — the collection of risk factors for cardiovascular disease and diabetes that include abdominal obesity, high cholesterol and blood glucose levels, and elevated blood pressure.

Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples New York Times, By Tara Parker-Pope, February 12, 2008
Long-married couples often schedule a weekly “date night” — a regular evening out with friends or at a favorite restaurant to strengthen their marital bond. But brain and behavior researchers say many couples are going about date night all wrong. Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale. Using laboratory studies, real-world experiments and even brain-scan data, scientists can now offer long-married couples a simple prescription for rekindling the romantic love that brought them together in the first place. The solution? Reinventing date night. Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art class or going to an amusement park. The theory is based on brain science. . . . Most studies of love and marriage show that the decline of romantic love over time is inevitable. The butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away and are replaced by familiar, predictable feelings of long-term attachment. But several experiments show that novelty — simply doing new things together as a couple — may help bring the butterflies back, recreating the chemical surges of early courtship. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Don't let date nights become predictable Baltimore Sun, By Susan Reimer, February 24, 2008

Turning Fool's Gold Into the Real Thing: In more civilized times, society would confer on Matthew McConaughey the status of a cad, not a flattering magazine cover piece.

Turning Fool’s Gold Into the Real Thing Townhall.com, By Robert Knight, February 12, 2008
Cad: 1) ungentlemanly man— a man whose conduct, especially toward women, is considered unscrupulous or dishonorable. (Encarta Dictionary)

With Valentine’s Day looming, USA Weekend, the colorful Sunday insert that has an estimated 49 million readers in 23 million households, featured actor Matthew McConaughey holding a red rose on the Feb. 8-10 cover with this headline:

Matthew McConaughey reveals his new feelings about “love, fatherhood, marriage” and his MOST AMAZING VALENTINE’S DAY EVER

Well, it turns out that Mr. McConaughey, who stars in this week’s top box office draw, Fool’s Gold, is going to be a dad this summer, courtesy of his girlfriend of two years, Brazilian model Camila Alves, 25. He says that will make this Valentine’s Day very special. Isn’t that romantic? Well, yes, until you get to this part: "Try to pin him down about where his relationship with his latest love is headed, and he gives esoteric answers about not following a “Westernized” path. “We are not into any Westernized program of how relationships are supposed to go,” McConaughey says. “I am older; I have my own life. I have built things. A woman gets to be 38, and her clock is ticking. For me, the challenge is that as I get older, I get set in my ways.” The kid’s not set, though. The child is going to be a bastard. Dad says so. He does not want “Westernized” programs like marriage to get in the way of his “own life.”. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Hollywood's "Sexiest Man Alive": "I have great dreams for the future"
Matthew McConaughey talks about his impending fatherhood, true love and whether he's finally ready to settle down. USA Weekend.com, February 10, 2008 Issue

RELATED ARTICLE: The loves of his life: Matthew McConaughey gives his take on his offscreen leading ladies. USA Weekend magazine, Februay 10, 2008

RELATED MOVIE REVIEW: 'Fool's Gold': Precious Few Gems in This Briny Ocean The Washington Post, By John Anderson, February 8, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: Should Getting Married Be the Price a Man’s Willing to Pay for a Woman’s Passion? Absolutely BlackAmericaWeb.com, By Joseph C. Phillips, December 04, 2007

RELATED ARTICLE: Declining Marriage Rates Aren’t Just a Black Family Thing – They're an American Thing BlackAmericaWeb.com, By Joseph C. Phillips, July 17, 2006

RELATED ARTICLE: The Perils of Playing House Psychology Today, By Nancy Wartik
Living together before marriage seems like a smart way to road test the relationship. But cohabitation may lead you to wed for all the wrong reasons -- or turn into a one-way trip to splitsville.

Make A Date to Talk About Money Townhall.com, By Carrie Schwab Pomerantz, February 12, 2008
It's that time of year when romance is in the air. But this Valentine's Day, along with taking your significant other to dinner, I have another suggestion: How about also inviting your partner to an open, honest discussion about money? No doubt, a relationship begins with romance and love; however, to my mind, part of that commitment involves a financial partnership. And that gets to the heart of what I'm talking about here. Of course in an ideal world, couples would examine and define their financial relationship early on. If you haven't done that, don't despair. The good news is that it's never too late to discuss (and agree on) your financial life. OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Have you ever noticed that your free-spending friend is married to a penny-pincher? Or that one partner is much more cautious than the other? It seems the adage "opposites attract" applies just as much to our attitudes and behaviors around money as it does to everything else. Truth be told, I've yet to meet a couple who decided to settle down together because they had compatible financial views.. . . . SOME GROUND RULES: There is no question that financial conversations take some introspection as well as a fair amount of planning. Money has many psychological overlays - from our childhoods, past relationships, careers, you name it - that the resulting feelings can interfere with positive communication. Here are a few suggestions to keep your discussion productive: . . . .

Some Thoughts on Love Townhall.com, By Dennis Prager, February 12, 2008
With Valentine's Day approaching, some thoughts on love.
1. The love relationship between a man and a woman is unique. There is no love like it for two primary reasons: First, it is the love of equals -- all other love relationships (except same-sex friends) are between unequals. Second, it is sexual. . . . . 3. That is one reason the notion of "unconditional love" is foolish. The fact is, we all earn love, and it is a good thing to have to do so. What possible good purpose can the belief that your spouse loves you unconditionally -- i.e., no matter how you act -- serve? If we believe our spouse loves us no matter what we do, what would motivate us to be on our best behavior at all times? Why be kind even when we are in a foul mood? Why work to stay attractive if he will love me no matter how much I neglect how I look? Why continue to pay attention to her -- like regularly calling her from work -- if I know that even if I ignore her, she will continue to love me? . . . . 5. We show love to those we love by doing what they consider loving, not necessarily by what we consider loving. A young man once called my radio show and told me he was not planning to give his girlfriend flowers or even a card, or to do anything special for her on Valentine's Day. His reason was that he considered Valentine's Day a creation of American capitalism -- just another way to sell cards, flowers and gift items and increase companies' profits. I asked him if his girlfriend agreed with him about the insignificance of Valentine's Day. . . . .

Some thoughts on LOVE as valentine's Day approaches

JOKE OF THE DAY: The Lighter Side

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM:
Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess -- with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!

TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.

WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the ........ would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other crap too.

THURSDAY:
Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. She sent another skinny B. to find me. Then, as punishment, she put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

FRIDAY:
I hate that Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darned barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

SATURDAY:
Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up f or services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my daughter (the little creep) will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

Girl (13) raped by 'groom' after her family calls off marriage The Belfast Telegraph, February 11, 2008
A 13-year-old girl was kidnapped and raped in a brutal bid to force her parents to honour an arranged marriage in the Irish Republic. The girl's 16-year-old-rapist, who had been selected to become her husband, and her abductors may never face prosecution as her parents have accepted a €10,000 payment after an independent mediator brokered a deal between the two families. The Roma family -- who arranged their daughter's marriage when she was just eight -- no longer regard the incident as a rape despite the fact that the child's husband-to-be has admitted to gardai that he had sex with the girl. Details of the hush-money payment emerged one month after a coroner ruled that a British teenager who opposed her parents plan for an arranged marriage died after she was strangled or smothered. The 17-year-old had previously been admitted to hospital after drinking bleach when she was introduced to her suitor and no one has been charged in relation to her killing. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Bondage in the Name of Tolerance Townhall.com, By Debra J. Saunders, February 12, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE: Adopt sharia law in Britain, says the Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams The Telegraph- UK, By Jonathan Petre, Religion Correspondent, and Andrew Porter, Political Editor, February 2, 2008
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No 10 steps back from cousins row
Downing Street has sought to distance Gordon Brown from one of his minister's concerns about first cousins marrying BBC News, February 11, 2008
Environment minister Phil Woolas said on Sunday there was a raised risk of children having genetic problems if their parents were cousins. He said: "If you are supportive of the Asian community then you have a duty to raise this issue." No 10 said Mr Woolas was speaking as a local MP and such matters were best dealt with locally by health officials. Mr Brown's spokesman said: "The government's position is we believe these matters are best addressed locally, by local members of the community as well as by professional healthcare advisers." Downing Street's comments came after a Labour MP said she welcomed the debate about first cousins marrying and having children - saying she had been "fretting about this for 10 years". Ann Cryer, MP for Keighley, says the genetic problems have a "large impact" on her sizeable Pakistani community. . . .

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Heather's £55m deal: Sir Paul ready to buy her silence with a record pay-off The Daily Mail- UK, By Richard Simpson, February 9, 2008
Sir Paul McCartney is poised to sign a record divorce settlement which will see Heather Mills walk away with £55million. Miss Mills is to take a lump sum of £20million and a further £2.5million a year for the next 14 years - every year until their daughter Beatrice turns 18, the Daily Mail can reveal. As part of the arrangement, Miss Mills will never be allowed publicly to discuss in detail the reasons behind the breakdown of the six-year marriage. The substantial annual payout includes a large share put aside solely to cover the cost of round-the-clock security for Miss Mills whether Beatrice is with her or not after she recently revealed she had been the target of "death threats". Miss Mills, 40, will be Beatrice's main carer but 65-year-old Sir Paul will have equal visiting rights. There will be hand-overs every week and each parent will spend alternate weekends with Beatrice. Such an arrangement is expected to make touring complicated for the former Beatle. Miss Mills has also agreed not to seek to live abroad for at least the next five years, which would rule out any immediate hopes of a full-time career as a media personality in America. . . The settlement amount closely reflects discussions the couple had at a Financial Dispute Resolution in October of last year. Sources on both sides said the couple have now agreed all the details of the settlement "in principle". Since Miss Mills currently has no legal representation, the couple are expected to spend much of next week having all aspects of the complex deal examined and approved in a closed hearing before High Court judge Mr Justice Bennett. . . .

Heather's Â£55m deal: Sir Paul ready to buy her silence with a record pay-off

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Bride Kim Sjostrom dies in beloved Teddy Efkarpides' arms during wedding dance

Bride dies in beloved's arms during wedding dance Th Miami Herald, By Elinor J. Brecher, February 8, 2008
The only thing Kim Sjostrom wanted more than a real-life reenactment of My Big, Fat Greek Wedding was the Greek-American husband who came with it: Teddy Efkarpides. By the time the 36-year-old Davie Elementary School teacher married the 43-year-old Sunrise carpenter on Jan. 19 -- three years to the day after their first date -- she had had a Greek-themed bridal shower, gotten a ''Greek by Marriage'' T-shirt and practically memorized the movie, which played while friends did her hair and makeup before the ceremony. ''She couldn't wait,'' Efkarpides says. The Hollywood version has a happy ending; the South Florida version doesn't. As 60 disbelieving guests looked on, Kimberly Sjostrom Efkarpides crumpled during the first dance at the reception and died in her new husband's arms. They had been married for less than an hour. . .Their first Christmas together, Kim gave Teddy her ''101 Reasons Why I Love You,'' framed. He reads: '"No. 1. You make me smile. 2: You know where I'm ticklish.'' No. 4 reads, ''You kiss away my tears,'' an irony not lost on the weeping man who has no one to return the favor. "She was my soul mate. She was kind, caring. She looked past all my flaws to bring out the best in me. . . . She always looked me in the eyes, always with a smile, as if she won the lottery.''. . . .Kim Sjostrom's wedding became a Davie Elementary School project. . . . ''The same people who took care of the decorations took care of the funeral,'' says Naomi Church, who teaches at another school. ''When it came time to make the financial arrangements, Cheryl threw me out of the room,'' says Teddy. . . . .

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Britain's oldest honeymooners, Peggy and James Mason, (combined age 178) hit the road - with a love story that'll warm your heart

Britain's oldest honeymooners (combined age 178) hit the road - with a love story that'll warm your heart The Daily Mail- UK, By Jenny Johnston, February 8, 2008
Peggy and James Mason - Britain's oldest newlyweds - are holding hands and exchanging sweet nothings. It would be touchingly romantic, were it not for the fact that Peggy, 85 years young, really should have both hands on the steering wheel right now, given that she is in the driving seat of a rather large mobile home which is hurtling down the motorway at speed. "I love you, James, you know, my beautiful James," she coos, clutching her new husband's hand over the gearstick and shouting over the noise of the engine. James's hearing isn't what it used to be, so she leans in towards him and shouts louder. "James, do you hear me? Are you OK? Are you cold, my darling wonderful man?" Ninety-three year-old James responds with a huge grin and a similar squeeze of the palm. "I'm good as gold, and twice as happy," he shouts back, as the traffic thunders by. His red tartan rug has slid off his lap onto the floor; the road atlas joins it, but neither he nor his beloved wife seems to notice. Their eyes meet, a little too long for passenger comfort. "What an adventure," he whistles finally. "I say, Peggy, isn't this an adventure?" Isn't it just. The happy couple - combined age 178 - are an hour into a honeymoon that is scheduled to last a month and take them on an epic journey around Britain and Ireland. . . .

Mind the gap: 'I'm going away.' 'How long for?' 'I don't know...' The Telegraph- UK, By Lisa Forest, February 8, 2008
I didn't even take Matt to the airport to wave him off. The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass myself - or him - by making a scene. I managed not to interfere with the packing, tempted though I was to sneak in extra vests. It's so hard to deal with, the first time they go off on their own. Watching them leave the home you've shared for all these years, the protection you've afforded them. Most of all, you're anxious for their safety. And whether they'll be lonely. You know you will be. You implore them to keep in touch so you don't have to worry yourself sick. On the other hand, you know that the less they text or telephone or email the more they're enjoying themselves, and you want that, too. So no news is either good news, or complete, bloody disaster, and you just have to deal with it as it comes. The house will seem so empty without his detritus about the place. There'll be no loud music blaring, no dirty dishes in the sink, no one hogging the bathroom mirror when I'm desperate to pluck a chin hair. I know it's time… the signs of his readiness to spread his wings and leave the nest have been manifest for a while. The silences, the irritability, doing "stuff" on the computer half the night. But this gap year business still nips your heart. I should be used to it by now. It's not as though he's the first to go. Last year it was Ben, aged 18, my darling boy. He went off to a sheep farm in Australia for nine months. He departed a child, and returned a man - full of confidence and openness. The difference is this. Ben is my son. Matt is my husband. And Matt - or rather Mathias, to give him his grown-up name - is 51 years old. Yes, my partner of 23 years is doing what 21st century man in mid-life - and perhaps mid-wife - crisis does. He's having a gap year. . . .

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Marry Him! The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough Atlantic Monthly, By Lori Gottlieb, February 8, 2008
Still holding out for Mr. Right, even as middle age quickly approaches? Don't hold your breath, says Lori Gottlieb. Here, the author and single mom explains why true love may be a fantasy — and why that's not necessarily a bad thing. Excerpted from “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough” from the March 2008 issue of The Atlantic magazine. . . . About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby — mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene. “Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: We’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child). . . . .

Why it's OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough: Author Lori Gottlieb on the fading line between compromising and settling (Click for Related Video)

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That the sexual value of men rises and that of women falls with age in a kind of inexorable natural egalitarian process is a truth that each generation -- apparently alas! -- must discover for itself anew and only after it's too late. Or so one would conclude from reading Lori Gottlieb's paean to late-life sexual realism in the Atlantic Monthly, "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.". . . .

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Diabetes Study Partially Halted After Deaths

Health Issues: Diabetes Study Partially Halted After Deaths New York Times, By Gina Kolata, February 7, 2008
For decades, researchers believed that if people with diabetes lowered their blood sugar to normal levels, they would no longer be at high risk of dying from heart disease. But a major federal study of more than 10,000 middle-aged and older people with Type 2 diabetes has found that lowering blood sugar actually increased their risk of death, researchers reported Wednesday. The researchers announced that they were abruptly halting that part of the study, whose surprising results call into question how the disease, which affects 21 million Americans, should be managed. The study’s investigators emphasized that patients should still consult with their doctors before considering changing their medications. Among the study participants who were randomly assigned to get their blood sugar levels to nearly normal, there were 54 more deaths than in the group whose levels were less rigidly controlled. The patients were in the study for an average of four years when investigators called a halt to the intensive blood sugar lowering and put all of them on the less intense regimen. The results do not mean blood sugar is meaningless. . . . . . Dr. Hirsch added that organizations like the American Diabetes Association would be in a quandary. Its guidelines call for blood sugar targets as close to normal as possible. And some insurance companies pay doctors extra if their diabetic patients get their levels very low. . . .

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Feminism has turned men into second-class citizens, but have women's victories come at a price?

Feminism has turned men into second-class citizens, but have women's victories come at a price? The Daily Mail- UK, By Rosie Boycott, February 5, 2008
From the office to the marital bed, millions of men say feminism has turned them into second-class citizens. Here, one of the movement's high priestesses asks: have women's victories come at too high a price? What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century? If you'd asked a man living in the mid-20th century - someone like my dad for instance - he would have breezily given you a quick answer. It would have gone something like this: "I'm a provider - I look after my wife and children. I go out to work and make money for my family to live on." From that, he would have derived his sense of self, of who he was in society. What's more it would have been one of the main motivators driving his life; a force, as history shows us, that allowed men to be the dominant sex in our world. But according to a recent survey, today's young men don't share their forebears' sense of entitlement. Indeed, 52 per cent of them believe they have to live by women's rules, and a staggering 82 per cent feel they have lost their traditional male role in society. For most of them, this means feeling undervalued, their voices and opinions unheard. This is an astonishing reversal, and one that we can no longer ignore, underscored as it is by several facts. For example, for the first time in history a majority of American women are not living with a spouse. In Britain, the Office of National Statistics revealed recently that the number of marriages taking place in the UK had fallen to an all-time low. So marriage and being the 'Dad around the house' aren't something a young man growing into adulthood can look forward to as a cast iron certainty. Furthermore, one of the bastions on which a man could depend in the ongoing tussle between the sexes - earning more than his female counterparts - is also changing. . . .

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Cindy McCain happy to play supporting part
Republican front-runner’s wife prefers the sidelines to an active role MSNBC.com, By Bob Considine, February 5, 2008
U.S. Senator John McCain (R-Ariz.) has often said it is his wife who would make a great presidential candidate. But Cindy McCain, 18 years her husband’s junior, insists she is content to play a supporting role as an understated but effective spouse. “He’s amazing,” Cindy McCain told TODAY co-host Meredith Vieira just after a Super Tuesday-starting rally for her husband in New York. “On days when I think I can’t take another step, he’s just charging away. So he’s a great inspiration.” As a potential first lady, McCain said she would love to motivate the same way Sen. McCain has done for her. “I hope I can just be one who can inspire men and women to get involved,” she added. “I do a lot of work overseas. I’d like other people to do the same thing. I’d like people to join me and get involved and make this world better.” Cindy McCain, 53, has tried to shun the spotlight throughout her spouse’s political career. The Phoenix native met McCain at a military reception in Hawaii in 1979, when he was reportedly in a troubled marriage. By April 1980, John McCain was divorced and he and Cindy married a month later. They had three children in the 1980s. There were personal struggles for Cindy McCain through the years. . .

Cindy McCain happy to play supporting part

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AFRICA: Scandal over gay marriage rocks Senegal

Scandal over gay marriage rocks Senegal Kenya Today, By Hamadou Tidane Sy, February 5, 2008
Police in Senegal have arrested at least seven people allegedly involved in the celebration of a gay marriage in a restaurant in the outskirts of Dakar, raising again debate about morality and individual freedom in a country caught between conservatism and the desire to project a tolerant image. The identities of the people, who are under police custody but not charged yet, were not revealed except for one Pape Mbaye who is unknown to the public but whose name has been given by one newspaper with no further details about his profile. The arrest took place on Sunday following the publication by a glossy magazine of pictures allegedly taken during the celebration of the alleged same sex marriage. The local press and other web sites indicate that at least five of the people arrested appear in the pictures published in the latest issue by of glossy monthly magazine, Icone specialising in Dakar’s trends, night life and jet-setters. Mr Mansour Dieng, the Publication Director of Icone told the local media: “When we published the story (of the gay marriage) in a previous issue, we were treated as liars and accused of fabricating the story, we have decided to publish the photos to give the public an evidence of what we reported”. . . . In Senegal, a nation where Muslims represent more than 95 per cent of the population, homosexuality has always been a marginal, sensitive and highly taboo affair. Though, the phenomenon is known and has always existed, it is totally rejected as contrary to morality and religion. . . .

MARYLAND GENERAL ASSEMBLY: Bill Would End Civil Marriage, Create Domestic Partnerships The Washington Post, By Lisa Rein, February 5, 2008
Advocates for same-sex marriage plan to introduce legislation in the Maryland General Assembly today that would abolish civil marriage ceremonies now confined to heterosexual unions in the state and replace them with domestic partnerships for all couples. The bills represent an unusual new tactic in the effort to push legal rights for gay couples through the House and Senate during the legislature's 90-day session. Sponsors of the measure say they are attempting to address head-on the concerns of lawmakers who oppose same-sex marriage on religious grounds. Under their proposal, all couples -- straight or gay -- would be on equal footing with secular unions. Religious marriage in churches, synagogues and mosques would be unaffected, as would existing civil marriages. The word "marriage" would be replaced with "valid domestic partnership" in the state's family law code. "If people want to maintain a religious test for marriage, let's turn it into a religious institution," said Sen. Jamie B. Raskin (D-Montgomery), the bill's Senate sponsor. . . .

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New York Court Rules State Must Validate Canadian Homosexual "Marriages" LifeSiteNews, February 4, 2008
- In a victory for homosexual political activists, the Appellate Division of state Supreme Court of New York on Friday declared that same-sex "marriages" recognized as legal in other countries must be considered valid in the state for purposes of employee benefits. The suit to force Monroe Community College in Rochester to extend health benefits to lesbian partner Lisa Golden was brought by an employee of the college, Patricia Martinez. Martinez and Golden undertook a marriage ceremony in Canada in 2004. Martinez, a word processing supervisor, sued the school in 2005. A previous judge had ruled in favour of the college. The appeals court, however, ruled that the "marriage" between the two women "is entitled to recognition in New York in the absence of express legislation to the contrary." The court ruled unanimously, "The Legislature may decide to prohibit the recognition of same-sex marriages solemnized abroad. Until it does so, however, such marriages are entitled to recognition in New York.". . .

New York Court Rules State Must Validate Canadian Homosexual 'Marriages'

Forbes magazine: Dallas voted 'Best City for Couples'

SPECIAL REPORT: Best Cities For Couples Forbes.com, By Rebecca Ruiz, February 4, 2008
With rents in many cities skyrocketing, men and women marrying later and a divorce rate for first-time marriages that hovers at about 45%, it's no wonder more American couples are deciding to shack up. There were an estimated 6,017,462 unmarried-partner households in the U.S. in 2006, according to the Census' latest research. This number includes 779,867 same-sex households. When the Census began measuring unmarried partners in 1996, there were only 2,858,000 opposite-sex couples. Though you likely know at least one cohabiting pair, unlike their married and single peers, unmarried couples are not an easy group to quantify. They cannot check the single or married box truthfully and there is little but a shared address to signify their official commitment. But couples that live together have needs, too. In our round-up of the Best Cities for Couples, we've identified what this growing demographic requires to maintain a stable relationship while on the path to marriage or something less traditional. We selected the country's largest 40 metropolitan areas and collected data on marriage and divorce rates for the 20- to 34-year-olds that live there, the affordability of a starter home there, the area's income disparity and the availability of family counseling. . . .

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Why marriage is more than just a piece of paper The Independent- Ireland, By Mary Kenny, February 4, 2008
The President of France, Nicholas Sarkozy, is said to have speeded up his wedding to the stunning Ms Carla Bruni so as to spare Queen Elizabeth any embarrassment next month when he pays a state visit to Britain. A certain amount of speculation had been gathering as to whether the queen might have to offer Mr Sarkozy and girlfriend a double bed at Windsor Castle while the couple were not yet legally wed. I dare say the queen has faced greater crises -- Suez, the Cuba missile affair, the prospect of civil war in Northern Ireland come to mind -- but some of the stuffier courtiers will be relieved that correct form has been observed. Some of them still remember that until 1968, divorced persons were barred from entering the royal enclosure at Ascot. De Valera only omitted divorce from his Constitution. He never stopped divorcees going to the races. But Sarkozy's decision to bring forward his nuptials shows that, when all is said and done, there still is a difference between cohabiting partners and legally wed spouses. That 'piece of paper' scorned by cohabitees may only be a piece of paper, but it is as significant as the piece of paper. . . . The reason why French political sex scandals were so rare in the past is that the linen thereof was never laundered in the public gaze. . .

The Sarkozy-Bruni nuptials show why marriage isn't just a piece of paper

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Just like the Sarkozys, Annabel Heseltine had a whirlwind wedding... and has never looked back.

RELATED ARTICLE: Sarkozy and Bruni marry in Paris   BBC News, February 2, 2008
French President Nicolas Sarkozy has married his girlfriend, former model-turned-singer Carla Bruni, in Paris, an official statement said.

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Britney: From the girl next door to tearful junkie, the fall of a pop princess

PROFILE: Britney Spears
The teen dream fades into a long, drawn-out scream of pain
The pop star’s turbulent background means she has nobody to lean on in her fragile mental state The Times Online- UK, February 3, 2008
Back in 1999, when Britney Spears was a rather scrawny 17-year-old who had burst onto the pop scene with her No 1 album Baby One More Time, she had a strange dream. She was in a mirrored lift stuck between floors and she couldn’t get out. “There was a phone in there and I was calling all my friends, saying, ‘I’m stuck in an elevator’.” The weird thing was, she was “really happy” there. Last week the lift was in freefall, the 26-year-old American singer could no longer be sure who her friends were and the apple-pie looks that enslaved a generation of teenagers were unrecognisable in the anguished features now in the mirror. On Thursday Spears was sectioned as a possible danger to herself. She is reported to have bipolar disorder, a condition once known as manic depression and characterised by extreme highs and lows. Hollywood had laid on its tackiest script for Spears’s second forcible removal to a Los Angeles hospital in a month. While a convoy of police cars and helicopters escorted her ambulance, an unseemly squabble broke out between her parents, manager and boyfriend over who had the star’s best interests at heart. . . .

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RELATED ARTICLE: Thanks, Britney, from all bad mothers   The Times Online, By Rosie Millard, January 20, 2008
Women struggling to live up to the myth of the perfect mother should bury their angst and just be grateful that others fail far more spectacularly.

RELATED ARTICLE: The Bad-Mommy Brigade New York magazine, By Ayelet Waldman, January 13, 2008
Britney goes to the psych ward, and mothers everywhere secretly rejoice. Why we love to hate the ultimate bogeymama.

RELATED ARTICLE: Celebrity: Moms Gone Wild: Sure, mothers always get blamed for everything. But—as a look at the women behind Paris, Lindsay, and Britney reveals—if your child is your meal ticket and career booster, it's hard to be the parent she needs Vanity Fair, By Judith Newman, November 2007 Issue

Life after breakups with the divorce doctor: From lawyers to life coaches, an exclusive new service offers a one-stop shop for the recently divorced. They'll even try to find you a partner

Life after breakups with the divorce doctor The Times Online- UK, By Angela Neustatter, February 2, 2008
Laurel Herman’s 28-year marriage ended abruptly when, during a family holiday with friends in France, her husband Ian announced that he was leaving her to “find himself”. “My world blew apart. I was 48 and he was the only man I’d known. I had a very traditional marriage – everything revolved around making things all right for him, and around life as a couple.” Her husband, a businessman, flew home and moved into a hotel and that was the end of the marriage. “But it was the beginning of a very painful time for me,” Herman recalls. “I didn’t know anything about running my life. I hadn’t paid household bills; I didn’t understand insurance, or what I needed to do if I wanted to mortgage the house. I had never asked about my husband’s financial affairs and it was a big shock to find out there were difficulties that needed addressing. I didn’t know a lawyer to go to for advice on sorting out the end of the marriage. And I wanted guidance on how best to help my children – Emil, 19, Raphael, 23, and Gabriel, 24 – cope.” Confronting the practical issues was one thing; then there was the emotional hill to climb for a woman who was a virgin when she married and who had no close friends or confidantes. Even though Herman was a striking woman, impeccably stylish and running a successful business, she says: “My confidence went down the tubes. I felt worthless.” Ironically, her business, Positive Presence, involved helping people to project confidence and improve their images – Herman would help her clients to choose the right wardrobe and make-up. Positive Presence, with its data-base of 3,000 professionals, ranging from builders to life coaches, hand-picked by Herman, contained the seeds of her salvation. She decided to set up Positive Transition, a service for people going through difficult circumstances, which launches this month.. . .

How the world's worst stripper became Spielberg's protegee, stole another woman's husband and might just win an Oscar

Parenting Issues: How the world's worst stripper became Spielberg's protegee, stole another woman's husband and might just win an Oscar The Daily Mail- UK, By Peter Sheridan, February 2, 2008
Pregnant 16- year-old Juno MacGuff is about to enter an abortion clinic when she meets a protester waving a banner declaring, ungramatically: No Babies Like Murdering. "Your baby probably has a beating heart," says the demonstrator. "It can feel pain. And it has fingernails." When Juno later decides to keep her baby and flees the clinic, the protester shouts: "God appreciates your miracle." And so does Hollywood, which last month embraced the film Juno as a surprise Oscar contender. With its smart script, the bittersweet comedy, which follows a teenager's decision to go through with an unplanned pregnancy, has already made a star of its leading actress, newcomer Ellen Page, who has picked up one of the film's four Academy Award nominations. . . . Yet the film has also united America's Left and Right in condemnation of its writer, a 29-year-old from Illinois called Diablo Cody. Her script's insouciant endorsement of teenage pregnancy, with no repercussions, shame or consequences, has angered pro-choice activists who claim it sends out a message that is naive, unrealistic and irresponsible. Meanwhile, feminists and the religious Right have formed an unlikely alliance to condemn Cody not only for her past as a stripper and phone-sex operator, but for glorifying her role in the sex industry in an autobiographical book. . . .

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Hollywood vs. America is a passionate and immensely readable polemic about the entertainment industry's self-destructive assault on the ideas and mores of its American audience.

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Only One Issue: The abortion controversy is not a debate between those who are pro-choice and those who are anti-choice. It’s not about privacy or trusting women. To the contrary, the debate turns on one key question. What is the Unborn?

Where have all the men gone? British women in their thirties want mates. They can't find any. Why? Because most eligible males are selfish, mixed-up man-boys chasing no-strings sex, says Times correspondent, Laura Nolan.

Where have all the men gone? The Times Online- UK, By Laura Nolan, February 1, 2008
Men are like eggs. They must hatch or go bad. I came to this conclusion after seeing in the new year with a gang of university friends and hearing one of them, a single guy of 35 called Jamie, declare with complete sincerity that his resolution for 2008 was not to get a girlfriend. I groaned. His vow struck me as odd, not just because Jamie is a remarkably warm, kind and entertaining individual rather than some ropey Lothario, but because I knew him ten years ago when he was mustard keen to marry his then girlfriend. And when I thought harder about it, I realised that over the past decade Jamie has effectively been degenerating from the man he was at 25 years old to the boy he is today. The person who fell in love and believed that when you found a great girl you counted your blessings and married her has morphed into someone in search of nothing more than a bit of fun, who views any relationship that he can’t get out of at the ping of a text message with genuine unease. Where have all the men gone?. . .

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Man is no longer king of his domain. He's now supposed to be an equal partner -- and a good listener, too. Blindsided by the escalating emotional demands of marriage, guys wonder how love became a no-win proposition.

Why it was Ian Fleming's wife who invented James Bond The Daily Mail- UK, By Christpoher Hudson, February 1, 2008
Those who were lucky enough to visit Goldeneye, Ian Fleming's Jamaican retreat, could never understand how the Flemings went through so many wet towels. But those sodden towels were needed, literally, to cool their fiery partnership, used to relieve the stinging of the whips, slippers and hairbrushes the pair beat each other with - Ian inflicting pain more often than Ann - as well as to cover up the weals Ian made on Ann's skin during their fiery bouts of love-making. And like their love-making, their relationship was complex, passionate, often shocking. Each was tormented by the other - but it was this painful torment which kept their marriage on the road. It seems unbelievable that the creator of James Bond was born 100 years ago this year. Adapted for successive generations, Bond is as modern today as he was when Fleming's first in the series, Casino Royale, was published in 1960. In Fleming's books - as in his life - sex and cruelty went hand in hand, and sex and cruelty never go out of fashion. This cruelty even infected his marriage. In public, his wife Ann was a beautiful, sharp-witted aristocrat. In private, she soaked up the pain the abusive Fleming caused her - physically and mentally - and then gave some of it back. Had Ann not been in Fleming's life, the James Bond novels might never have been written. . . . The problem for the Flemings was they were both too self-centred to make the compromises necessary for any successful marriage. Fleming also had growing health problems. For years he had been drinking a bottle of gin and smoking 70 cigarettes a day. This exacerbated an existing heart problem, and in 1961, not quite 53, he had a heart attack. His health would never be the same again. And increasingly Fleming was beginning to depend upon a relationship which utterly excluded Ann. It was to become the most intimate and long-lasting of his later life. Blanche Blackwell, in her early 40s when she met Ian, came from an old Jamaican family. . . .

Why it was Ian Fleming's wife, Ann, who invented James Bond

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