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The news articles and features presented below are simply an indication of how topical, controversial, and all-encompassing the issues surrounding marriage are throughout our society—and the world—today. Some of the views and opinions expressed, and their respective web sites, do NOT reflect the views or opinions of The Real Proposal™ magazine. Many are highlighted largely to reiterate that the alarming statistical trends on the chaotic state of "Marriage" and "Family"—outlined in"A Mere Glimpse"—will continue unabated without a fundamental grasp and purposeful dissemination of TRUTH on the issues.
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- 5 Reasons Why Seemingly Loving Marriages Fail BMWK, By Linda Dominique Grosvenor, December 30, 2010
Marriage was created to be a lasting institution; however, in this age of modern conveniences, people tend to put less and less effort into making a marriage work. But for those who want to make it work, avoid the pitfalls and grow older and deeper in love, here are 5 reasons why even seemingly loving marriages fail. People come into the relationship determined not to change. Some people are so stubborn, prideful and set in their ways that nothing you tell them or show them in black in white is going to change them. They don’t want to hear about compromising, or least of all make the effort to compromise. When you come into a relationship not willing to compromise or hear the other person’s point of view to possibly work out an issue, it’s really over before you even say “I Do.” Marriage in essence “is” compromise, so, those entering in marriage with the intentions on remaining unchanged are strolling in the wrong park. Sometimes people believe the negative stereotypes they’ve heard about marriage. For example, when you get married you’ll have almost no sex or when you have children the quality time an attention between the couple will automatically decrease -then they’ll start living and acting it out. Couples need to refuse to let stereotypes seep into their marriage, mainly because a husband or wife is not going to spend the entire marriage trying to prove wrong the stereotype their spouse has bought into. You don’t get married to prove something – that adds unnecessary stress. Every couple prepares for the glorious wedding. They get the color scheme just right, make sure they’ve got everything they want on the bridal registry and that their bridesmaids are all lined up in a row, but many fail to plan for their marriage. Lots of people get married simply as the next step after saying “I love you.” Many have no vision for the marriage itself. . .
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- Bishop T.D. Jakes Speaks On The Importance Of Fatherhood In The African-American Community, Strong Leadership, Marriage Roland Martin Reports, December 27, 2011
Roland
Martin and Bishop T.D. Jakes talk one-on-one about the importance of
fathers in the African-American community, the Bishop Eddie L. Long
scandal and what Black men look for in leadership.
MR. MARTIN:
Bishop, when we sat down in Washington, D.C., we were talking about all
kind[s] of other different things, and as a part of the conversation, I –
I – I brought up what was in the news that day, and that really was the
allegations dealing with Bishop Eddie L. Long. And one of the things
that I said that I was concerned about was that it’s already so
difficult to get Black men into the Church, and that part of his
ministry was reaching out to men. And I felt that that scandal could
have a negative impact on bringing men into the Church. And so we began
to talk about this whole issue of what men expect from pastors – what
they expect. And one of the things that I said was that I thought that
Black men responded to Minister Farrakhan so well because he represented
Black, male strength. What is it about men, but specifically Black men,
that we’re ab- — that we respond to strength, we respond to a strong
man and say, “That’s who I’m willing to follow”?
BISHOP JAKES: I
think one of the things that I had to learn that separated me from my
Cau- — Cau- — W- my Caucasian counterparts is the reality that Black men
often come to church for different reasons than White men, and their
expectation from their pastor is different. Because many, many Black
men grew up in homes where there were no fathers, went to school where
there were no male teachers, lived in a society where everybody they saw
up front was female, they search and long to see a man in a position of
authority to kind of fill some of the voids that they did not get
throughout life. And, inevitably, more than seeing you as “Rev,” or
“Bishop,” or something like that, they see you as “dad” as “father,”
because many times you become a surrogate father in their lives.
MR.
MARTIN: And are – are you cognizant – you talk about that “void.” Are
you cognizant in terms of how you carry yourself and – and what you
say? Because I – a lot of times, I’ll hear men say, “Bishop said this,”
“Bishop said that,” because they are looking for somebody who can lead
them in the right path.
BISHOP JAKES: Oh, very, very much so.
The – the – [chuckles] – the weight is unbelievable, sometimes
unre[a]listi- — -r- — -realistic, but it’s very, very important. You
know, in the ’60s, our pastors filled a void in the country in – in
terms of civil rights. They – they stepped up to the plate. . .
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- If A Man Wants You…
I received this years ago I think it’s great advice. Print it & read it every day if you must ladies! Reality Wives, December 26, 2011
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends.”
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less. . .
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RELATED ARTICLE: ‘How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy’: Authors of Self-Help Book Offer Women Advice ABC News, By Lauren Effron, November 17, 2011
Have
you ever said “I do” when deep down you really meant “I don’t”? Did you
say “yes”even though you knew the guy popping the question was Mr.
Wrong? Even if you haven’t, chances are you know someone who has.
“Nightline” sat down for an interview with Anne Milford and Jennifer
Gauvain, the authors of “How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy,” to talk about
women in serious relationships who struggle with the decision to take
the plunge into an unhappy marriage or become a runaway bride. . . .
.Tips for How to Break-Up With Mr. Wrong, Even If He’s Your Fiancé: . . .
.Common Red Flags The Authors Say Other Brides Ignored:. . . . Why Do
Some Women Go Through With a Bad Marriage Anyway?. . . .
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- Two Lesbians Raised a Baby. But… The Real Proposal magazine - Editorial, Originally published December 12, 2011
This YouTube video is going viral a second time, 11 months after first exploding on the Internet, largely, it seems, because of a November 30 posting on MoveOn.org, titled, “Two Lesbians raised a baby and this is what they got.” In the video, Zach Wahls, a 19-year-old University of Iowa student, is seen delivering an articulate, compelling argument to the Iowa House of Representatives during a public forum, in which he sought to drum up opposition to Joint Resolution 6, which effectively sought to ban gay marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships in that state. . . . To be sure, there are special rights that are afforded federally and contractually to heterosexual couples in support of “responsible procreation,” which is really what lies at the heart of society’s interest in regulating marriage. In the “Land of the free,” no one could reasonably argue that gays and lesbians don’t have a right to live as they choose. What they don’t have, however, is the right to redefine marriage for all of us. Same-sex marriage is not about "my relationship" versus "your relationship." Public policy is not about specific individuals. Likewise, public policy regarding marriage is not about any couple in particular. Marriage is about future generations and the ideal setting in which they are to be raised. And yes, some same-sex couples do a very good job at raising kids, while some heterosexual couples fail miserably at it. But again, public policy is broader than specific couples and should be based on noble ideals that transcend all of us—you, me. . . . . The real issue, ultimately, is not about Wahl’s particular situation—or how much empathy he elicits as a really likeable guy—but whether or not such anecdotal accounts can actually hold up to closer, impartial scrutiny and whether they are truly representative of other children caught up in similar scenarios. Assuredly, there are countless others – already deemed “collateral damage” who tell a different story. “Alana S.,” for example, speaks about the “pain of being DENIED a biological parent (and being taught that it was a good thing!)” Adult rights, according to the apparent reasoning of same-sex marriage supporters, seemingly trump those of the children like Alana S. who have been conceived to satisfy the biological longings of same-sex couples wanting to “play house” with partners that nature will never comply with in producing children. . .
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RELATED ARTICLE: The Sperm-Donor Kids Are Not Really All Right: A new study shows they suffer. Slate magazine, By By Karen Clark and Elizabeth Marquardt, June 14, 2010
The
Kids Are All Right, due out in July, is being praised for its honest
portrayal of a lesbian couple, played by Julianne Moore and Annette
Bening. But what seems most revelatory about the movie is its portrayal
of their two teenage children who track down their sperm donor
biological father and insist on forging a connection with him. Finally,
we have an exploration of how children born from such procedures feel,
because in fact it turns out that their feelings about their origins are
a lot more complicated than people think. . .
RELATED BLOG: Confessions of a Cryokid
“What
happens when little bundles of artificially created joy begin to speak
for themselves? Revolt! I'm a product of an anonymous sperm donor and
now that I'm an adult I'm searching for answers and speaking out. And
this is my story..."
RELATED ARTICLE: Donor-Conceived
and Out of the Closet: The children of anonymous sperm donors are
growing up, speaking out, and demanding rights in a forum fraught with
controversy Newsweek/The Daily Beast, By Alessandra Rafferty, February 25, 2011
When
she was younger, Alana S. used to experiment and tell people her dad
died when she was a baby and that she didn’t really ever get to know
him. She would get a sincere hug and a heartfelt, “I’m so sorry.” But
when she told people the truth of her father’s whereabouts, she got a
response mostly filled with confusion. “When I tell people I’m donor
conceived, God, the blank expression on their face,” Alana said.
“They’re shocked, they’re paralyzed.” The reaction propelled her to
create AnonymousUs.org,
a no-names online story collective for donor-conceived people, their
families, donors, and medical professionals. “The goal is for it to be a
healing resource, and also I want to find the patterns. I feel like I’m
a tile in a big mosaic and I want to see other people’s tiles and get a
big picture,” she said. AnonymousUs.org is part of the growing online
presence and increasing visibility of the adult children of anonymous
sperm and egg donors—kids who are not quite all right. . . . . .
Currently, in the United States, you need a license to sell a condo or
cut hair in a salon, but not to broker human life. The $3 billion
fertility industry goes largely unregulated, offering blank pages to
those searching for information where the rest of us are free to access
vital statistics of public record. “I’m not a treatment, I’m a person,
and those records belong to me,” says Pratten. . .
RELATED SITE: AnonymousUs.org
Mission
Statement: The Anonymous Us Project is a safety zone for real and
honest opinions about reproductive technologies and family
fragmentation. We aim to share the experiences of voluntary and
involuntary participants in these technologies, while preserving the
dignity and privacy for story-tellers and their loved ones. Read More
RELATED INFO: Putting strategies to work: the homosexual propaganda campaign in America's media MassResistance.org
Read
below: The powerful, sophisticated psychological techniques that the
homosexual movement has used to manipulate the public in the media. . .
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- Ginger White on Herman Cain's Exit, His Arrogance—and Her Sex Claims The Daily Beast, By Leslie Bennetts, December 5, 2011
Ginger White, who dealt the death blow to Herman Cain’s campaign by alleging a 13-year relationship, talks to Leslie Bennetts about:
- How Cain’s ‘arrogance’ persuaded her to go public
- The time she thought about grocery shopping during sex
- How Cain thought the ‘man was always right’
- The time Cain asked her to get rid of her family dog while giving her financial aid
- Why she thinks Cain’s wife Gloria engaged in willful self-denial, and more.
A few hours after Herman Cain announced the end of his presidential campaign, Ginger White drove to her lawyer’s office in downtown Atlanta to discuss her role in the debacle. “I’ve never been more exhausted,” said White, who seemed drained and on the edge of tears despite her artful makeup and snappy outfit. “It’s been an emotional rollercoaster; it’s been embarrassing, humiliating, humbling.” White can’t be said to have cost Cain his shot at the presidency; his unexpected ascent in the polls was reversed by his own political gaffes and allegations of sexual harassment by several other women. But when White went public with her story of a 13-year affair with Cain, many analysts credited her with delivering the death blow to his political prospects. Cain has denied having any sexual relationship with White, telling CNN, “I have nothing to hide. I have done nothing wrong.” He has described her as a “friend” whom he “helped in these tough economic times.” For White, an Atlanta single mother of two, the cost of telling her story has been devastating; so far, she said it has included her job, her privacy, and the financial support that Cain acknowledged having given her. “My coming out has caused me to have no more money from Herman Cain and no offers of help from anyone,” she said. L. Lin Wood, Cain’s attorney, acknowledged that his client had given White money up until very recently. “She was reaching out, asking for financial help, because she couldn’t pay her rent and didn’t have gas in her car,” Wood said. “He gave her some money within probably a week or ten days of when she decided to go public.”. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Ginger White Interview on Herman Cain Affair San Diego.com, By Associated Press, November 28, 2011
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RELATED ARTICLE: Fighting Temptation And Staying Committed To Your Spouse BlackandMarriedWithChildren, By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, December 5, 2011
During some point in many marriages things get common. It becomes the same routine day in and day out. Some occasionally get comfortable with the ordinary and neglect to keep the excitement and fire burning. The dating stops, spontaneity halts and both partners end up just being in their marriage instead of living in the marriage. During that time is when many couples are challenged. It’s very easy to become distracted at these moments. Someone could easily catch our attention by telling us how highly they think of us. Especially if we haven’t heard it from our spouses in a while. One can fall into the trap that leads to temptation and ultimately infidelity. As adults we are quite aware of our actions and the results that could possibly follow. We also know when we aren’t fighting temptation but giving in to it. By laughing at awkward unwanted advances (from co-workers or friends) instead of putting our foot down and demanding we and our relationship are respected. Also, when we are on a mission to prove we still got it and desire for someone other than our spouses to notice. If our spouse is still attracted to us, isn’t that really all that matters? Enjoying the attention is also a huge problem. Consistently putting ourselves in compromising situations and initiating any questionable behavior makes someone an easy target for infidelity. Staying present and aware of all the little signs that can damage your marriage is the first step. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Managing Temptation FOTF.com
When
Bob planted a garden, he put up little hedges all around the perimeter
of his yard to help keep out pests that would eat the prized vegetables
he worked so hard to nurture. His efforts proved successful. Within
marriage, barriers must also be erected to protect the "garden of
marital bliss" that you are trying hard to build. These barriers, which
help keep out unwanted intruders, especially during times of temptation
to be unfaithful, will, like Bob's hedges, protect the marriage that God
gave you. When you or your spouse feels tempted to cheat, either
through participating in some online forum that promotes infidelity or
flirting with a coworker, these barriers can protect the marriage that
God gave you. And like Bob, you'll reap the benefits of a well-tended
garden of marital love. We have some great ideas for you on what kind of
hedges or boundaries you can erect to keep your marriage thriving,
healthy and safe from the dangers of temptation and extra-marital
affairs. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Building Hedges Around Your Marriage FOTF.com, By Erin Prater
Hedges.
You probably don't spend much time thinking about them. Bills? Yes.
Work? Yes. The kids? Yes. But not hedges. What comes to mind when you
think of one, anyway? A hedge fund? A hedgehog? An oddly-shaped row of
bushes awkwardly leveled-off at the top, prickly and just about as
appealing as a bad haircut? While a hedge might not be what your
property needs, it is what your marriage needs. When we talk about
building a hedge in your marriage, we're actually talking about
constructing a mutually protective investment that will allow your
marriage to flourish like never before. The series of articles that
follows will explore the concept of "hedging" your marriage — what it
means, why you should do it, and how to go about it. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Adultery LeadershipU,
By Kerby Anderson
The seventh commandment says "Thou
shalt not commit adultery." Nevertheless, this sin has been committed
throughout history. Today, though, adultery seems more rampant than
ever. While tabloid stories report the affairs of politicians,
millionaires, and movie stars, films like "The English Patient," "The
Prince of Tides," or "The Bridges of Madison Country" feature and even
promote adultery. How prevalent is adultery? Two of the most reliable
studies come to similar conclusions. . . . .Perhaps you are thinking,
"This is just a problem with non-Christians in society. It can't be a
problem in the church. Certainly the moral standards of Christians are
higher." Well, there is growing evidence that adultery is also a problem
in Christian circles. An article in a 1997 issue of Newsweek magazine
noted that various surveys suggest that as many as 30 percent of male
Protestant ministers have had sexual relationships with women other than
their wives. . . . . . Myths About Adultery: Marital infidelity
destroys marriages and families and often leads to divorce. Public
sentiment against adultery is actually very strong as approximately
eight out of ten of Americans disapprove of adultery. Yet even though
most people consider adultery to be wrong and know that it can be
devastating, our society still perpetuates a number of untruths about
adultery through a popular mythology about extramarital affairs. At this
point we want to examine some of the myths about adultery. Myth #1:
"Adultery is about sex.". . . . . .Preventing Adultery: Her Needs. . . .
Preventing Adultery: His Needs. . .
RELATED RESOURCE: Divorce and Infidelity: Should I Get a Divorce?
FOTF.org, By Amy Desai, J.D.
1.
Overview
No couple goes into marriage thinking they'll be the ones
who won't make it. Certainly, at your wedding, you thought you were
promising a love that would last a lifetime. Now, for reasons you may
not fully understand, that dream seems shattered. As you try to
understand the pain and determine what to do, divorce may look like an
appealing way out. "After all," you might reason, "life is full of
second chances. Perhaps I simply married the wrong person, and Mr. or
Ms. Right is still out there somewhere." You may think you were too
young when you married, or that you never really loved your spouse. Or
maybe you are just tired of the arguing, tired of the lack of
communication, tired of the coldness in your relationship. Perhaps you
simply want out – period. Or maybe you are hoping against hope that your
marriage can be salvaged. Before you bail out of your marriage,
carefully consider what you'll be diving into. Most people are not
prepared for the challenges of post-divorce life.These articles are
designed to help you understand the effects of divorce before you make
that choice, to give insight into what you – and your children – will
face. By providing solid facts, they will help you make a more informed
decision. Be encouraged that no matter how hopeless it seems, there's a
possibility your marriage can be saved. It's our sincere desire that
your marriage will be transformed into the loving relationship you hoped
it would be when you first said, "I do."
2. Who Gets
Divorced?
3. How Would Divorce Affect Me?
4. How Could
Divorce Affect My Kids?
5. Is There Hope for My Marriage?
6.
How Should a Christian View Marriage and Divorce?
7. Dealing With
the Bigger Problems in Marriage
8. Dr. Bill Maier on Divorce
9. Next Steps / Related Information. . .
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- Angelina Jolie says her kids still often ask about marriage Celebrity Cafe, December 05, 2011
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have long been asked whether they’d eventually officially tie the knot, and as recently as this summer, a tabloid claimed they were ready to wed. Wedding rumors weren’t true, though, and Jolie usually considers those stories to be “shallow” and “very wrong,” but now their six children, Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, and twins Knox and Vivienne, have asked why they aren’t married. Angelina Jolie, 36, appeared on Nightline, airing on Monday, and said the kids ask, since all their favorite movie characters do it. "They have asked, yeah, because they see movies,” she said. “People get married in the movies, you know, the happily ever after. Shrek and Fiona are married, you know?" She continued that she is honest with them. She says she and Brad explained they are already committed. "We've explained to them that our commitment, when we decided to start a family, was the greatest commitment you could possibly have," she said. "Once you have six children, you're committed." She adds one possible motive for asking is that they want to have “a big cake.”Brad Pitt, earlier this year, said his and Angelina’s kids are a big influence on deciding whether to get married. "It’s meaning more and more to them. So it’s something we’ve got to look at,” he revealed back in May. Jolie has also previously said it would be “hard to say no [to marriage] to the kids.". . .
RELATED RESOURCE: The State of our Unions The National Marriage Project
The
National Marriage Project is a nonpartisan, nonsectarian and
interdisciplinary initiative located at Rutgers, the State University of
New Jersey.
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RELATED PHOTO ESSAY: Wife vs. Wifey: A Twentysomething Struggle with the Term 'Wifey' Essence magazine, By Shirea L. Carroll, February 06, 2010
Real
women want to be a man’s choice, not an option. Period. It takes one
bad breakup or one shocking rejection to come to that epiphany—quick.
After witnessing Beyonce grace the stage on Grammy night, publicly
sending her love and gratitude to her “huzzzband,” Jay-Z, my
appreciation for the institution of marriage surfaced stronger than
ever. Belonging to the generation that created the term wifey, defined
as a man’s main squeeze, long-term girlfriend, or woman who is almost
“wife material,” I had ask, Is the title wifey really good enough? A
lot of women seem to be honored by the title wifey, and if it works for
you…who am I to judge? The question is, How long does it work? After
speaking to more than a few of the fellas who admit they use the title
wifey, they also admitted they don’t take the title nearly as half as
serious as wife. If they don’t even hold the title “wifey” in high
regard, then why should we? Get ya mind right ladies. They gave me nine
reasons why, unless you’re dropping the “y,” wifey just isn’t good
enough: 1. Accessibility. . . Next: 2. Exclusivity. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Why falling marriage rates are bad for the culture Scripps News, By Betsy Hart, October 30, 2006
So
the question is, are we at a tipping point yet when it comes to whether
or not we as a culture value and sustain marriage? That's a crucial
question even for those living outside of marriage. For instance, I may
be raising my kids on my own but they still derive huge benefits,
including safety, community stability, male and family role modeling and
more from living in the neighborhood we do in which marriage rates are
extremely high. If more and more kids aren't getting that either in
their own homes or in their neighborhoods or larger communities, the
negative cascading effect is and will be profound. So what' going on?
Here's one part of the puzzle _ another report titled "Why Men Won't
Commit," part of the "State of Our Unions" series from the National
Marriage Project. (While recently reported at MSN.com, the study is from
2002.) Anyway, I saw the headline and it was so easy to guess the first
several reasons before even glancing at them. Sure enough the study of
younger men, age 25-33, showed that:
— Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.
Duh.
— Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying.
Double duh. (Oh, yeah, thanks feminist foremothers.). .
RELATED ARTICLE: Glamorizing Illegitimacy Trumpet magazine, January 2006
Hollywood.
It’s cool. It’s chic. It oozes glam and glitz. But the truth is that
all that glitters from Hollywood is not gold. “Out-of-wedlock births.
Shotgun weddings. Catch phrases for ‘illegitimate’ pregnancies (and the
quickie nuptials that may follow) have an almost criminal ring to them.
But Hollywood has set to work changing the stigma of premarital babies”
(Fox News, Nov. 10, 2005). As the Fox News article wryly pointed out, a
baby has replaced the diminutive, ornamented puppy as a fashion
accessory to metrosexual Hollywood. Now the unmarried, star-crusted
Hollywood scene is burgeoning with chips off the block—with household
names like Cruise, Paltrow and Ledger. The message is clear: Unwed
parenting is something to celebrate. But Hollywood is merely showcasing
what is actually a growing social trend. . . . . . . It doesn’t take a
genius to realize what statistics prove: that premarital sex produces
single-parent families. But statistics don’t solve the puzzle of why
unwed pregnancy, and why the Hollywood “love child” is such a fad. The
answer is shocking and little-thought-of by academics and parents alike:
The world has lost the art of proper dating. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: The Power of Commitment Faith & Family Foundation, By Phil Callaway
Believe
me, ours is not a perfect marriage. But I am far richer when I remember
the three "Cs" of a great marriage: Communication. Commitment. Christ.
It may not be the deepest thing you’ll ever read, but I’d rather be a
happily married man than a philosopher. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Song of Solomon Faith & Family Foundation, By Al Janssen
It's
the inspiration for every great love story ever written. And it's a
reflection of what God intends for your marriage . . . . It upholds a picture of marital love as it was intended. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: God's Design for Marriage: Find the key to making your marriage flourish — just as God designed Faith & Family Foundation, By Carol Heffernan
It's
easy to think that only "other people" get divorced. That your own
marriage is somehow immune to heartache, infidelity and fights over who
gets the house, the car, the dog. After all, how many of us would walk
down the aisle if we believed our relationships would end up in divorce
court? Truth is, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee. Even
men and women who grew up in stable homes, who attend church and
consider themselves Christians, who promise "until death do us part,"
can have it all fall apart. As Christians, we know that applying
biblical principles to marriage will give us a stronger foundation than
those of our unbelieving friends and neighbors. We know this, but what
are we doing about it? In other words, what makes a marriage
"Christian"? According to author Gary Thomas, we're not asking the right
questions. What if your relationship isn't as much about you and your
spouse as it is about you and God?. . .
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- Two Lesbians Raised A Baby And This Is What They Got MoveOn.org, Posted by Angie, November 30, 2011
What’s the reason for opposing this again? Watch. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Sperm donor children speak out Lifesite News, By Christine Dhanagom, December 05, 2011
There
are only four things Alana Stewart knows about her father: he has
blonde hair, blue eyes, a college degree, and his assigned number at the
sperm bank where he sold half of Alana’s genetic code is 81. She is one
of an estimated 30,000 – 60,000 children conceived each year in the
United States through sperm donation. A former egg donor herself, Alana
is now a vocal critic of the practice, which she calls “the violent act
of buying and selling a child.” Her story, featured in the upcoming
documentary Anonymous Father’s Day, is becoming more and more common.
Many of the children conceived through sperm donation are now adults,
and some of them are speaking out against the practice that brought them
into existence. Their stories are revealing that the experience of
being a donor conceived child is not what many proponents of the
technology expected it would be. Such children were supposed to think of
the man married to their mother as their father, and of their
biological father as just the man who masturbated at a sperm bank and
walked away with a $75 check. But according to Alana, it’s not that
simple. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Comparing the Lifestyles of Homosexual Couples to Married Couples Family Research Council, By Timothy J. Dailey, Ph. D. (Posted March 2008)
The
“I’m boring.” down-home portrayals of homosexual couples are meant to
provoke the question: Since gay couples really differ only in that both
partners are of the same sex, what rational basis exists for denying
them full marriage rights? Are homosexual households, as the article
suggests, simply another variant of human relationships that should be
considered, along with marriage, as “part of mainstream American
society”? On the contrary, the evidence indicates that “committed”
homosexual relationships are radically different from married couples
in several key respects:
· relationship duration
· monogamy vs. promiscuity
· relationship commitment
· number of children being raised
· health risks
· rates of intimate partner violence . . . .
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RELATED INFO: Putting strategies to work: the homosexual propaganda
campaign in America's media MassResistance.org
Read
below: The powerful, sophisticated psychological techniques that the
homosexual movement has used to manipulate the public in the media. If
you think that the radical changes in the minds of Americans -- and in
your own mind -- about homosexuality in the last decade are an accident,
you must read the section below from the 1989 book, "After the Ball -
How America will conquer its fear and hatred of Gays in the 90s"
(Penguin Books), which immediately became a beacon for the
then-emerging homosexual movement. Building on the basic strategies
outlined in Marshall Kirk's groundbreaking 1987 article, "The
Overhauling of Straight America", this book puts forth the very
sophisticated psychological persuasion and propaganda mass media
techniques that we've all seen and been affected by over the years --
but never understood what was happening. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Gary and Tony Have a Baby! FamilyScholars.org, By Alana S. June 23, 2010
CNN
is doing a documentary on one gay couple’s journey to have a family
using donor eggs and surrogacy. It airs tomorrow night at 8 pm EST. The
teaser lays down a history of Gary and Tony’s twenty-year-strong bond.
The two men are committed. They are likable. They appear to be great
candidates for fatherhood. The only problem is… neither of them have a
functioning uterus. Or eggs. But that’s not a problem a little cash
can’t fix. Watching them stroll along a New York sidewalk with Soledad,
greeting strangers’ toddlers, pining for their own tykes, my mind is
overwhelmed. I want Gary and Tony to be happy. I like them. They appear
to be great guys. I respect their story and so, I respect them. But I
can’t separate my life experience from this issue of gamete donation and
surrogacy. As much as I want to be a yea-sayer to Gary and Tony’s
deepest desires, I know so intimately the pain of being DENIED a
biological parent (and being taught that it was a good thing!). . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Reengineering the Family: We can’t yet know the full
consequences of our institutionalized severing of biology from
parenthood? National Review Online, By
Heather MacDonald, February 01, 2010
An image from a TV ad for gay marriage, reproduced in the
January 18 New Yorker, provides a Rorschach test for reactions to
America’s ongoing revolution in family structure. Two men in black suits
stand shoulder-to-shoulder in a group of people, looking into each
other’s eyes. In their arms are two newborns in white baby clothes and
blankets. Though it’s not immediately apparent from the photo, the men
are at a baptism for their infants. The ad, still being test-marketed,
is called “Family Values,” and is intended to emphasize the
“conventionality of gay couples,” explains The New Yorker. If your
reaction to the image is: “Where’s the mother(s)?” you may not yet be
fully on board the “conventionality” bandwagon. If your reaction to the
foregoing question, however, is: “Why does it matter?” then you are
keeping pace with the revolution. “Why does it matter?” may ultimately
prove the more appropriate response, but no one should pretend that it
represents anything other than a radical revision of the traditional
relationship between parents and children — one whose consequences no
one can predict. . .
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RELATED ARTICLE: Collateral Damage? Children With a Gay Parent Speak Out FOTF, by Amy Tracy
In addition to feeling a sense of loss, especially if a parent has left
the home, children may experience shame, humiliation, fear, instability,
and confusion.
RELATED ARTICLE: Pres. Obama: Are Fathers important or not? You can’t have it both ways. United Families International blog, June 22, 2010
In
a classic case of “talking out of both sides of one’s mouth,” Pres.
Obama delivered his Father’s Day Proclamation. He went out of his way
to appease his homosexual base by acknowledging and honoring the various
“nurturing” family forms including “two fathers." He correctly
identifies the crucial role of fathers in society: “Fathers are our
first teachers and coaches, mentors and role models. They push us to
succeed, encourage us when we are struggling, and offer unconditional
care and support. An active, committed father makes a lasting difference
in the life of a child. When fathers are not present, their children
and families cope with an absence government cannot fill.” But
wait….just last month Pres. Obama proclaimed basically the same
beautiful and reverential things about mothers. In his Mother’s Day
Proclamation, he extolled the virtues of motherhood: “From our first
moments in this world and throughout our lives, our mothers protect us
from harm, nurture our spirits, and encourage us to reach for our
highest aspirations. Through their unwavering commitment, they have
driven and inspired countless acts of leadership, compassion, and
service across our country.” In addition, he also made sure to pay
homage to those relationships that are comprised of “two mothers.” So
which is it?. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Are Fathers Really Fungible? Family Scholars blog, By W. Bradford Wilcox, June 14, 2010
I have a lot of respect for Pamela Paul. So it pains me to say that her new piece
in The Atlantic, "Are Fathers Necessary?", gets it wrong, and in two
very big ways. The gist of her argument is that sociologists Timothy
Biblarz and Judith Stacey are right in claiming that fathers play no
essential role in the lives of their children. Or, in their words,
"based strictly on the published science, one could argue that two women
parent better on average than a woman and a man..." Paul’s first
mistake was to take Biblarz and Stacey’s article as an impartial,
scientific treatment of the “published science” on gender and
parenthood. Alas, it is not. In fact, a close reading of their article’s
appendix indicates that the vast majority of the published studies they
relied upon are deeply flawed from a methodological perspective.
Specifically, most of the studies relied upon small, unrepresentative
samples of same-sex and heterosexual couples. You just cannot draw
strong conclusions one way or another from these studies, given their
methodological limits. Second, Paul overlooked the fact that Biblarz and
Stacey acknowledge in their article that same-sex couples appear to be
more likely to break up than heterosexual, married parents.. . . .
Finally, Biblarz and Stacey ignore a growing body of research relying
on large, random, representative samples of American children that
indicates fathers do indeed play a distinctive role in the lives of
their children. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Gay Marriage: Even Liberals Know It's Bad Townhall.com, By Frank Turek, Monday, May 26, 2008
Why
not legalize same-sex marriage? Who could it possibly hurt? Children
and the rest of society. That’s the conclusion of David Blankenhorn,
who is anything but an anti-gay “bigot.” He is a life-long, pro-gay,
liberal democrat who disagrees with the Bible’s prohibitions against
homosexual behavior. Despite this, Blankenhorn makes a powerful case
against Same-Sex marriage in his book, The Future of Marriage. . . . The
law is a great teacher, and if same-sex marriage advocates have their
way, children will be expelled from the lesson on marriage. This leads
Blankenhorn to assert, “One can believe in same-sex marriage. One can
believe that every child deserves a mother and a father. One cannot
believe both.” . . .
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RELATED ARTICLE: “Who Are You to Judge Others?” - In Defense of Making
Moral Judgments
It’s been said that the most
frequently quoted Bible verse is no longer John 3:16 but Matthew 7:1:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” We cannot glibly quote this,
though, without understanding what Jesus meant. When Jesus condemned
judging, he wasn’t at all implying we should never make judgments about
anyone. After all, a few verses later, Jesus himself calls certain
people “pigs” and “dogs” (Matt. 7:6) and “wolves in sheep’s clothing”
(7:15)! Any act of church discipline (1 Cor. 5:5) and rebuking false
prophets (1 John 4:1) requires judgment. What Jesus condemns is a
critical and judgmental spirit, an unholy sense of moral superiority.
Jesus commanded us to examine ourselves first for the problems we so
easily see in others. Only then can we help remove the speck in
another’s eye—which, incidentally, assumes that a problem exists and
must be confronted.1 But let’s take a closer look at this charge that
Christians are judgmental when we speak out on moral issues. . . .
.Closely tied to the notion of “judgment” is “tolerance.” Although many
accuse absolutists of intolerance, these accusers most likely have an
unclear and distorted notion of what tolerance really is. They often
are unaware that the concept of tolerance implies a close relationship
to truth. Contrary to popular definitions, true tolerance means “putting
up with error”—not “being accepting of all views.”. . .
RELATED RESOURCE: SAME-SEX MARRIAGE: Answering the Toughest Questions National Organization for Marriage
Strong
majorities of Americans oppose gay marriage. Supporters of SSM
therefore seek to change the subject to just about anything:
discrimination, benefits, homosexuality, gay rights, federalism, our
sacred constitution. Our goal is simple: Shift the conversation rapidly
back to marriage. Don’t get sidetracked. Marriage is the issue. Marriage
is what we care about. Marriage really matters. It’s just common sense.
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- Abbotsford virgins seek good men and “holy” sex Vancouver Sun, December 01, 2011
‘Confessions of a 29-year old virgin.” That’s the title of the emotionally revealing blog of four Fraser Valley virgins who are looking for some good men for marriage and “holy” sex. The Abbotsford women’s online “virgin diaries” have suddenly made them media stars. Their quest for guys led to a video about them appearing Wednesday on the popular show of Ellen DeGeneres, who proceeded to get in some virgin jokes. The virginal British Columbians, all of whom are 29 or 30 and evangelical Christians, were also to be videotaped Wednesday night for an upcoming appearance on HLN’s Dr. Drew Show. And this Sunday evening three of the four young B.C. women will be starring on a pilot program called The Virgin Diaries on the TLC network. The program includes video of the young women dating eligible men, all of whom also happen to be virgins. The extroverted B.C. females, all members of a small church in Abbotsford called The River, began their blog four months ago because they were tired of being stereotyped as defective for being virgins (actually, one confesses to being a “born-again” virgin who wants to start over). They are fighting back against a sex-saturated culture, and looking for guys, in the name of spiritual “purity.” The online ringleader for the virgins, a photographer named Lisa Marziali, said in a Wednesday interview: “We’re in a culture filled with sex, where sex sells. And it’s sold every day. And we believe it shouldn’t be sold.” Marziali notes that sex is “God’s idea” and should be held for marriage. Marziali and her friends want to be “cheerleaders” for virgin women (and men). They say it’s sometimes difficult to be among so many friends who are married. The four young women’s crusade for virginity before marriage goes against the grain of North American culture, where a poll released this week by online polling system Soda-Head suggested 70 per cent of North Americans think cohabitation before marriage is a good thing. Unlike religious right leaders in the U.S. who have turned sexual abstinence into a wedge issue against liberals, Marziali said her crew of virgins is not pushing their views on anyone. “We just want to tell our stories.”. . .
RELATED VIDEO: 30-Year-Old Virgins by Choice: Inside the lives of sex holdouts as the number of virgins in America grows. ABC News, December 02, 2011
RELATED ARTICLE: The
Rhetoric of Chastity: Making Abstinence Sexy: Communications expert
Christine Gardner reveals what makes abstinence campaigns work. Christianity Today, By Sarah Pulliam Bailey, December 01, 2011
Evangelical
abstinence campaigns have shifted their emphasis from "just say no" to
sex before marriage to "just say yes"—within marriage, that is, says
Christine Gardner. In Making Chastity Sexy (University of California
Press), the Wheaton College communications professor examines the
rhetoric of three evangelical abstinence organizations, comparing them
with an abstinence campaign in sub-Saharan Africa, where HIV/AIDS is a
common threat. Christianity Today online editor Sarah Pulliam Bailey
spoke with Gardner about the larger ideas communicated to young people
in the campaign.
Q: What did you find upon examining the language of the U.S. abstinence movement?. . .
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RELATED ARTICLE: The anti-Tebow bias isn't about football USA TODAY, By Larry Tauton, December 02, 2011
How often do self-righteous football commentators have occasion to lament the behavior of modern players: Chad Johnson's reality show and "Ocho-Cinco" publicity stunt; Adam "Pac-Man" Jones' nightclub incidents; Michael Vick's dog-fighting hobby; and the never-ending soap opera that is Brett Favre. The modern athlete is, they say, selfish, all about the money, and looking for any opportunity to promote himself. Riding a Bronco to the rescue is former college football superstar Tim Tebow. Here is a young man of whom we can all be proud. He is clean-cut, articulate, humble, gracious in victory, hard-working, and, if that weren't enough, he's a humanitarian. No, not one of those "humanitarians" who does his giving in the public eye, but a humanitarian who gives quietly in the orphanages of the Philippines. There is only one problem. Many in the news media don't approve. Yes, these same commentators who bemoan the decline of football civilization continually tell us that Tebow isn't good enough to be in the NFL. . . . . When it comes right down to it, we don't want heroes who are truly good. We want them to fail the occasional drug test or start a bar fight from time to time. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Tebow, however, doesn't make us feel better about ourselves. People like him make us feel a little convicted about the things we say and do. So we find a reason to dislike them. Or, when Tebow says that glory goes to God and the credit for a victory goes to his teammates, coaches, and family, we are suspicious. An increasingly jaded culture, we don't believe that anyone can say such things and really mean them. So we wait. We wait for evidence that he really isn't that good. We hope to see him kick a player on the ground, drop an F-bomb on television, or Tweet pictures of his privates. In the meantime, we always have Penn State's Jerry Sandusky to make us feel better about ourselves. . .
RELATED ARTICLE: Tebow practices what he preaches ESPN Sports - Page 2, By Jemele Hill, July 27, 2009
So Tim Tebow is college football's Andy Stitzer. But unlike Stitzer -- the lead character played by Steve Carell in "The 40 Year Old Virgin" -- Tebow isn't embarrassed he's a virgin, and he's planning to stay nookie-free until he's married. For some reason, Tebow's chastity admission -- which came at SEC media day on Thursday when Clay Travis of AOL's FanHouse.com asked if he was a virgin -- has caused great debate in the sports world. Should we care that the most popular athlete in college football hasn't gotten his freak on? Was it an appropriate question? Should Tebow have even answered? Yes. Yes. And, yes. Asking Tebow about his virginity wasn't out of bounds, and his answer was more important than people realize. Tebow has used his enormous platform to promote his Christian beliefs. He utters the words "Jesus Christ" almost as often as "spread offense." At media day, he spoke in detail about ministering to prisoners, and he's been praised considerably for doing missionary work overseas. Tebow's faith preaches abstinence before marriage, and if Tebow is going to regularly endorse Christianity to millions of people, he should be prepared to respond to questions about his adherence to those beliefs. Instead of engaging in a debate about an athlete's right to privacy, we need to be celebrating Tebow for exhibiting that much backbone under such heavy public scrutiny. I've heard a lot of athletes profess to be devout Christians for the cameras -- only to see them at the bar later picking up women. Here we have arguably the most popular college athlete ever supporting abstinence, which, let's be honest, isn't considered conventional in today's society. Isn't that the very definition of true leadership?. . .
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