The news articles and features presented below are simply an indication of how topical, controversial, and all-encompassing the issues surrounding marriage are throughout our society—and the world—today. Some of the views and opinions expressed, and their respective web sites, do NOT reflect the views or opinions of The Real Proposal™ magazine. Many are highlighted largely to reiterate that the alarming statistical trends on the chaotic state of "Marriage" and "Family"—outlined in "A Mere Glimpse"—will continue unabated without a fundamental grasp and purposeful dissemination of TRUTH on the issues.

• In Sickness and in Health, Even When the Former Comes First  Washington Post, By Ellen McCarthy, August 30, 2009
  One Year In: For three straight months, Karolyn Blumer waited for it to happen. She knew it was coming -- they'd talked about it. In September 2007, after dating for two years and living together for six months, she and Jerry Lewandowski decided it was time to get engaged. . . . The week before Thanksgiving, Karolyn had nasal surgery and Jerry took off work to watch over her, fetching drinks and changing bandages. All the while he wasn't feeling so well himself -- his stomach was swollen and he couldn't figure out why he was gaining weight. The day after the holiday, unable to bend over to tie his shoes, Jerry shuttled himself to the emergency room while Karolyn stayed at their Arlington home in a codeine haze. Five hours later he called saying they wanted to keep him overnight, and thought it might be something with his heart. Karolyn went straight to the hospital, where she would stay for most of the next seven days while they tried to determine what was wrong with her 33-year-old boyfriend, who'd never been seriously sick in his life. "It was like we were in an episode of House but with none of the drama and the quick humor," she says. After an exploratory surgery, a doctor called Karolyn and told her, simply, "There are tumors everywhere.". . . Jerry had planned to propose the next day, his birthday. Her saying yes was the gift he'd been wanting. But that was before. Now he wasn't sure he could do it. "I'm tainted goods and it's all a mess," he remembers thinking. "It seems totally unfair to say, 'Would you like to spend the rest of your life with me?' It's like a dead-end job.' " Karolyn, meanwhile, hadn't even thought about an engagement since before her own surgery. But she found herself laying her head on his shoulder that night and saying, "I still want to marry you.". . .
  
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Until Medical Bills Do Us Part  New York Times, By Nicholas Kristof, August 30, 2009
  Critics fret that health care reform would undermine American family values, not least by convening somber death panels to wheel away Grandma as if she were Old Yeller. But peel away the emotions and fearmongering, and in fact it is the existing system that unnecessarily takes lives and breaks apart families. My friend M. — you’ll understand in a moment why she’s terrified of my using her name — had to make a searing decision a year ago. She was married to a sweet, gentle man whom she loved, but who had become increasingly absent-minded. Finally, he was diagnosed with early-onset dementia. The disease is degenerative, and he will become steadily less able to care for himself. At some point, as his medical needs multiply, he will probably need to be institutionalized. The hospital arranged a conference call with a social worker, who outlined how the dementia and its financial toll on the family would progress, and then added, out of the blue: “Maybe you should divorce.”. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  "In Sickness and in Health..." It's for more than just the flu"  Editorial- The Real Proposal magazine, By Donna Kassin, June 24, 2009
  On August 24, we would have been married five years. Over the past four and a half years since my husband’s initial awareness that something was very wrong and his official diagnosis, we have looked back often to the time we got married and the vows we took on our wedding day, “…in sickness and in health…” For one hundred percent sure, neither of us were thinking cancer. I very much doubt, in fact, that any typical couple getting married does. Sure, you think the flu…or even a broken something…and yes, you’re willing to run to the corner store for Kleenex and Tylenol, and are even willing to make the proverbial chicken soup. No one’s thinking cancer. Or, something terminal. But, there we were…almost straight out of the starting gate within a few months of our wedding vows with the wind sucked out of our sail. Would we still have gone through with our marriage had we known what was coming down the pike? To be sure, we have asked that question of ourselves several times over the past few years and have come to the unmistakable conclusion: Yes, we would. Has it been an easy road? Unequivocally, no. But, somehow, perhaps because of our faith, we were able to look past our daily circumstance and see God’s grace over our entire situation. . .
  
  
  
  

• Why the black community can't talk about marriage   DailyPress.com, By Malone-Colon, August 30, 2009
  Ask yourself: When is the last time you heard a public leader talk about the crisis in marriage and family and why it is urgent that as a country we give our attention to this crisis and its consequences? The answer is probably never or rarely. What is being proposed by these leaders to address the dramatic increases in children born out of wedlock (72 percent for African-Americans), divorce, cohabitation, those who never marry and the decline in marital quality? What are these leaders saying in response to the growing scientific evidence that the breakdown in marriage and family relationships impacts the mental and physical health, educational attainment and delinquent behavior of our children? What about the evidence that this weakening of family relationships is related to increased poverty and to a battery of social and health-related problems for adults? Why are so many remaining silent on this issue, and why do some leaders reprimand those who have the insight and courage to speak up? There are urgent calls to action to address the economic, health care, educational and environmental crises, as there should be, but no national calls to action to address marriages and families. Why not a marriage and family stimulus package? As I see it, we won't talk about the crisis in black marriages because of:
  
  • The unfortunate politicization of marriage. Marriage-strengthening efforts have been associated with a conservative political agenda. Also, conversations about marriage in the public square are often diverted to or focused on same-sex marriage. While this is an important issue in its own right, the urgency of the black marriage crisis and the 72 percent of black children who are born out of wedlock demands our unqualified and focused attention. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  'Marriage is for White People'  Washington Post, By Joy Jones, March 26, 2006
I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether. But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry. . . . . . And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people.". . . I was stunned to learn that a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today, according to sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Bill Cosby: African-Americans 'Not Holding Up Their End of the Deal'   ABCNews.com, June 29, 2005
It came as a shock to many last year when Bill Cosby, one of America's top TV dads and comedians, strongly criticized low-income African-Americans, and then took that message on the road. . . . .He has lambasted "lower-economic people," parents who spend more on athletic shoes than education, and children who use poor English and curse constantly. He has said blacks need to stop blaming whites and take control of their children and their communities. . . . . Martin asked Cosby if his own failures of judgment disqualify him from speaking about others. "No," Cosby said flatly. "I couldn't care less what you think of me as long as you begin to execute that which will save your children.". .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Why Our Black Families are Failing   Washington Post, By William Raspberry, July 25, 2005
"There is a crisis of unprecedented magnitude in the black community, one that goes to the very heart of its survival. The black family is failing."... What is happening to the black family in America is the sociological equivalent of global warming: easier to document than to reverse, inconsistent in its near-term effect -- and disastrous in the long run. Father absence is the bane of the black community, predisposing its children (boys especially, but increasingly girls as well) to school failure, criminal behavior and economic hardship, and to an intergenerational repetition of the grim cycle. The culprit, the ministers (led by the Rev. Eugene Rivers III of Boston, president of the Seymour Institute) agreed, is the decline of marriage...

• Ted Kennedy to Pope Benedict: 'I am writing with deep humility...'   PoliticsDaily.com, By David Gibson, August 29, 2009
  As if Ted Kennedy didn't have enough Catholic mojo going his way after today's funeral mass in Boston, the burial at Arlington this evening held another surprise: The contents of a moving exchange of letters between Kennedy and Pope Benedict XVI -- correspondence that touched on Kennedy's deep faith as well as public policy battles including abortion and universal health care. It was known that Kennedy had written a personal letter to the pontiff, and had President Obama carry it to the pope when Obama visited the Vatican in July. But the contents of the letter were unknown, and it was reported that Benedict XVI had responded but the substance was also unknown. . . . .Kennedy goes on to defend his public record -- a last apologia from a controversial Catholic figure. And while he avoids altogether the pro-choice record that was the source of his greatest tension with the hierarchy, he does vow that (as Obama has) that any health care reform package would include conscience protections for health care workers who refuse to participate in procedures that would violate their beliefs, such as abortion. . . . Benedict wisely, and predictably, rendered no judgment on Kennedy's public record. But his charitable and heartfelt expressions of support and prayer are sure to to be a solace in liberal quarters. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Funeral unearths meida's liberal tilt  OneNewsNow, By Chad Noyes, September 03, 2009
  A conservative media watchdog organization says the mainstream media's recent coverage of Senator Ted Kennedy's funeral was a celebration of big-government activism and a promotion of the liberal agenda. The Media Research Center (MRC) says while the death of the Massachusetts Democrat was undeniably a big political story, the five days of intense media coverage exposed how journalists see the late senator's ardent liberal agenda as unquestionably good for America -- not as controversial policies that fueled high-tax big government at the expense of the free market. . .
  

RELATED VIDEO: Ted Kennedy dies at 77  AP

RELATED ARTICLE:  Kennedy Memoir Doesn’t Ignore Lows   New York Times, By Carl Hulse and John M. Broder, September 2, 2009
In a memoir being published this month, Senator Edward M. Kennedy called his behavior after the 1969 car accident that killed Mary Jo Kopechne “inexcusable” and said the events might have shortened the life of his ailing father, Joseph P. Kennedy. In that book, “True Compass,” Mr. Kennedy said he was dazed, afraid and panicked in the minutes and hours after he drove off a bridge on Chappaquiddick Island with Ms. Kopechne as his passenger. The senator, who left the scene and did not report the accident to the police until after her body was found the next day, admitted in the memoir that he had “made terrible decisions” at Chappaquiddick. He also said that he had hardly known Ms. Kopechne, a young woman who had been an aide to his late brother Robert, and that he had had no romantic relationship with her. . . . Mr. Kennedy took a break to offer his views on the scrutinizing of the private lives of public officials, something with which he clearly was quite familiar. Mr. Kennedy said he had no quarrel with such inquiries. “But do I think it tells the whole story of character? No I truly do not,” he wrote. Men and women, he said, are more complicated than that. “Some people make mistakes and try to learn from them and do better. Our sins don’t define the whole picture of who we are.”. .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Kennedy leaves 'sad legacy' on traditional values   OneNewsNow, By Jim Brown, August 26, 2009
A Massachusetts pro-family leader says Senator Ted Kennedy was a "remarkable individual," but has left a "sad legacy" of opposition to traditional values. Edward "Ted" Kennedy, 77, passed away Tuesday night at his home on Cape Cod after a year-long struggle with brain cancer. He served nearly 50 years in the U.S. Senate, serving alongside 10 presidents and nearly as many governors in his tenure of public service. He is survived by his wife, a daughter, two sons (Patrick is a congressman from Rhode Island), and two stepchildren. Kris Mineau of the Massachusetts Family Institute says the death of the long-time Democratic lawmaker marks the end of an era and provides a time of reflection about what America's political leaders should be standing for regarding family, human sexuality, and parents' rights. "Senator Kennedy was certainly opposed to many of our traditional value issues," the family advocate notes. "Nonetheless, we have to give credit that he was a man of integrity and well-esteemed by his [fellow] senators -- both those conservative as well as liberals." Mineau says sadly, Kennedy "epitomized what is wrong with our leaders and their value of life." He notes the liberal lawmaker originally ran for office as a pro-lifer, but once he took office was lured to the pro-abortion side for "power and finances." "He was a champion for abortion, later on a champion for same-sex 'marriage' and the pushing of the homosexual agenda in our public schools," he points out. "That's a very sad legacy.". . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Ted Kennedy and the Blood of Christ  Boundless magazine- The Line, By Matt Kaufman, August 26, 2009
We're reminded that powerful men remain just men -- vulnerable to the ravages of an aggressive brain tumor. And men make poor angels or devils. I know something of Ted Kennedy's sins. (I know much more of my own.) And I have my own views of his legacy. But I'll leave it to others to hash over that, at least for now. There's something else to talk about. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  The Senator who cried 'bigot'  Townhall.com- By Maggie Gallagher, June 6, 2006
Sen. Ted Kennedy certainly let us know what he really thinks of Americans who support the Marriage Protection Amendment, defining marriage as the union of husband and wife: "A vote for this amendment is a vote for bigotry, pure and simple." . . . . On an issue of this great significance, opinions are strong and emotions run deep. And all of us have a duty to conduct this discussion with civility and decency toward one another." I certainly believe that. But I have to wonder, do advocates for gay marriage also believe it? Will no one turn to Ted Kennedy and say, "Sir, have you no decency?". . .

• Profile: Brian Brown, Executive Director of the National Organization for Marriage
  Opposing Gay Unions With Sanity & a Smile. NOM Head Moves His Cause to D.C.   Washington Post, By Monica Hesse, August 28, 2009
  The nightmares of gay marriage supporters are the Pat Robertsons of the world. The James Dobsons, the John Hagees -- the people who specialize in whipping crowds into frothy frenzies, who say things like Katrina was caused by the gays. The gay marriage supporters have not met Brian Brown. They should. He might be more worth knowing about. Brown is the executive director of the National Organization for Marriage, the preeminent organization dedicated to preventing the legalization of same-sex marriage. For two years, Brown has been traveling across the country. He moved his wife and six kids to California, where NOM was instrumental in passing Proposition 8, the state constitutional amendment defining marriage as an institution only between a man and a woman. Before that, Connecticut, where his cause was hurt when the state Supreme Court legalized gay marriage. It was NOM that Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean went to shortly after her infamous "opposite marriage" pageant answer. "Gathering Storm," the much-YouTubed announcement in which actors discussed how gay marriage would negatively affect their freedom of religion? That was NOM. Now NOM is moving its national headquarters to Washington. The thing about the John Hagees and the Pat Robertsons is that some people consider them "fringe." And when they speechify, the people they're most persuasive with are the ones who already believe them. But this country is not made up of people in the far wings, right or left. This country is made up of a movable middle, reasonable people looking for reasonable arguments to assure them that their feelings have a rational basis. Brian Brown speaks to these people. He has a master's degree from Oxford, and completed course work for a doctorate in history from UCLA. He shoulders the accusations of bigotry; it's horrible when people say that your life's mission is actually just prejudice. He tries to help people see that opposing gay marriage does not make them bigots, that the argument should have nothing to do with hate or fear, and everything to do with history and tradition. The reason Brian Brown is so effective is that he is pleasantly, ruthlessly sane. . . . . .In the two years since its formation, NOM has become a leader in the fight against gay marriage, which Brown calls "the issue of the decade." . . .
  
  
  
  RELATED VIDEO:  Religious Liberty Under Fire 
  Witness the erosion of your religious liberty! This assault will not stop at the state line. The same-sex marriage lobby wishes to challenge the federal Defense of Marriage Act. This affects you, no matter where you live in America. On March 26, Brian Brown, Executive director of the Family Institute of Connecticut, testified before the judiciary committee of the state legislature in regard to raised House Bill 7395: An Act Concerning Marriage Equality. He was grilled on the question of commitment to civil rights and his religious convictions. Brian defended both traditional marriage and religious liberty in an eloquent and courageous way. He continues to be attacked on the FIC blog. In this video Brian also tells us what we can do to protect religious liberty. . .
  
  
  RELATED POLL: The 2009 NOM Massachusetts Marriage Survey: FIVE YEARS AFTER GOODRIDGE: GAY MARRIAGE DIVIDES MASSACHUSETTS VOTERS  NOM, By Maggie Gallagher, President of the National Organization for Marriage
  A substantial minority of voters express fears that openly opposing gay marriage carries risks in Massachusetts. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE & VIDEO:  California gay marriage decision: The battle is on for our freedoms!   Editorial- The Real Proposal magazine, May 22, 2008
  There can no longer be any question that our religious liberties are, indeed, under fire. Just ask Bishop Harry R. Jackson, Jr., whose Hope Christian Church is targeted for an unsolicited visit on May 25 by Soulforce, an activist homosexual lobby group, whose stated mission is to “cut off homophobia at its source — religious bigotry.” In their attempt to encourage the inclusion of gay families in churches, Soulforce has targeted for similar visits Pastor Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church (May 11), T.D. Jakes’ Potter’s House (May 18), Bishop Eddie Long’s New Birth Missionary Baptist Church (June 1), Bill Hybels’ Willow Creek Community Church (June 9), and Rick Warren’s Saddleback Community Church (Father’s Day, June 16). To which we say, categorically, that homosexuals should always be welcomed within our churches. Christians are called to love the sinner — every kind — not the sin. What remains unclear, however, is whether, by their presence, Soulforce expects the gospel message will be tailored — censored, if you will — to exclude any discussions of, or references to, their lifestyle. But more importantly, when did preaching gospel morality for all people become a form of oppression?. . .
  
  
  
  
  

• Wife Shames Cheating Husband During Rush Hour  Lemondrop.com, By Emerald Catron, August 27, 2009
  Burning shame combined with the August morning sun and about a gazillion highly amused stares was the punishment one man endured for cheating on his wife. William Taylor of Centreville, Va., got caught getting a little action on the side when he forgot to remove the incriminating evidence from his cell phone. After finding the proof, his wife doled out a rather interesting punishment -- she forced him to stand at one of the busiest intersections in the D.C. metropolitan area wearing a sandwich board telling everyone he's a cheater. Consider it a modern-day version of a scarlet letter -- humiliating, but less catastrophic than some scorned women's destructive revenge tactics. "I thought she was kidding, but she was serious," Taylor said. "I figured I got to do what I got to do to makes things right. So here I am." His punishment is set to last all week. Each day when morning rush hour winds down, William gets a text from his wife, giving him permission to stop the public humiliation for the day, although repeat sightings of Taylor suggest this is at least a week-long punishment. Those daily texts will probably make him happier than all the ones he got from his mistress combined. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  If You Break My Heart, I'll Smash Your Car  Lemondrop, By Emerald Catron, Fenruary 09, 2009
  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and men hath few soft spots greater than their beloved cars. And (Dutch?) dude site Biertijd.com (kinda NSFW) has images of what happens when those two facts intersect after an ugly breakup. . .

RELATED ARTICLE & VIDEO:  Virginia Man Admits Cheating on Wife  MyFox DC, August 26, 2009

RELATED ARTICLE:  Dr. Betty Price Talks Religion and Infidelity in New Book 'Warning to Ministers, Their Wives and Their Mistresses'  Essence magazine, As told to Terrance Dean, August 26, 2009
Dr. Betty Price, wife of well-known television minister Apostle Dr. Fred Price of the Ever Increasing Faith Ministry, gives voice and a unique perspective to the topic of adultery in the church--through the personal stories of some pastors' mistresses. Dr. Betty Price spoke candidly to ESSENCE.com on the taboo subject. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Spotting the symptoms of a troubled marriage  FOTF, By Beth J. Lueders
Elena discovered that her husband wasn't just shopping on eBay all those late nights on the computer. Steve just happened to see his wife kissing the kickboxing instructor in the gym's parking lot. Most extramarital affairs do not start out with the candid revelations: "my husband is out of town" or "my wife won't suspect a thing." Generally something has gone awry in a marriage before a dissatisfied spouse utters these seductive lines. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Avoiding and Ending an Affair:  Meeting your spouse's needs is one way to avoid infidelity   FOTF, By Brad Lewis, David Sanford
What can spouses do to safeguard their marriage? In his book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage, Dr. Willard Harley says that the marriages most susceptible to infidelity are those where one or both spouses fail to meet their partners' primary needs. For wives, those needs are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial commitment and family commitment. Husbands' primary needs are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, an attractive spouse, domestic support and admiration. . .



RELATED ARTICLE: Traveling Toward Marital Intimacy: Though there is overlap, husbands and wives tend to take two unique paths toward intimacy. It’s important to understand where they lead and that sometimes we may have to force ourselves onto them  FOTF, by Paul Coughlin
Accountability to another person about your visual and emotional infidelity can be helpful—but not as helpful as we like to believe. After a while, one husband told me, “It’s pretty easy to lie to the person who is questioning you. It’s so autonomous--how are they really going to know?” Putting computers out in the open is helpful as well in order to break the power of autonomy. But what happens when no one is around to see you on that website or watching that soap opera? There is a more lasting approach: Addressing the reasons why a husband or wife would turn to someone other than their spouse when desiring sexual and emotional intimacy, then creating a realistic level of intimacy within your existing
marriage. . .

• The first cut IS the deepest: There's nothing quite like first love, just don't try to relive it ...  The Daily Mail- UK, By Lucy Cavendish, August 27, 2009
  . . . Eddie was an intrinsic part of my late adolescence and early 20s. We had the best fun anyone could possibly have. Like most teenage couples, however, we decided we were too young to carry on. Were there not other people out there we might love? I think this is how we both felt, even if it was with a sense of regret. Yet, in truth, no one forgets their first love. How could they? It's just not possible to forget that tingling sensation you feel when you fall in love for the very first time. Your first love brings up emotions that you may never have felt before - wild and passionate and almost startling in their intensity, almost a pure version of strong emotions that, later on in life, experience teaches you to dilute. I will never forget how I felt with Eddie. Sometimes, I believe I will never feel that way again. In fact, most people feel they have never come near feeling that strongly ever again. A recent publication from the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Essex suggests that first relationships become so idealised, they set up unrealistic benchmarks for subsequent relationships. According to Dr Malcolm Brynin, the principal research officer, it is safest to avoid an unrealistic version of a first relationship. This, he claims, leads to a lifetime of disappointment. This certainly seems to be true given the amount of time people spend trying to track down past loves either through Friends Reunited, MySpace or Facebook. . . . .Earlier on this year, she made contact with her First Love. She had originally met him in France. His marriage had also broken up. They met. They fell in love again. He has, six months down the line, now moved in with her and they seem idyllically happy. I asked her the other day why she and Eric had split up in the first place. 'I think we were too young,' she said. 'We thought there were more fish in the sea. Now we know there aren't.' But does having romantic feelings about your first love have a massive effect on expectations in future relationships? How can a second love ever match up to the first? When we fall in love for the first time, we are young. Returning to that love makes us feel young again. . .
  
  
  

• Parenting Issues:  Disney's Decline  Townhall.com, By Rebecca Hagelin, August 25, 2009
  The Disney girls like Snow White and Cinderella were always so innocent, beautiful and kind. They taught little girls that we too should be generous and gracious - that our lives should be marked by goodness and virtue. The Disney message was clear: regardless of your circumstances, you can be lovely and thoughtful, and - if your heart is pure and with a little help from your fairy godmother - you might also find your handsome prince and live happily ever-after. My, how times have changed. This is not your mamma's Disney. The lifestyles and fantasies they are selling our young women are anything but wholesome. Disney has deliberately and successfully transformed its brand from one of innocence and family entertainment, to a purveyor of promiscuity. A recent case in point is Disney star Miley Cyrus. Last week I wrote in this column how, once again, Disney created a young, innocent heroine and then morphed her into a tramp. (Is Miley a tramp in real life? I don't know. But she has agreed to be packaged as one.) The larger point is that Disney itself has also morphed. They've gone from selling just childhood fantasies into also selling sexual ones. This new corporate image was missed by many adults, but to my surprise, it seems that some teens recognize -and are beginning to reject - the newer, uglier, Disney. . . . . .So what's a mother to do?. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Desperately Seeking Celebrity  Plugged In, By Paul Asay, August 24, 2009
Irene Cara talked about the allure of celebrity in the 1980 film Fame (which, fittingly, has been remade and will be released this September): "I'm going to live forever," she sang. And psychologists tell us that our quest for immortality is a big reason why celebrity is so alluring. But it's not the only reason. . .

• Wearing the Disguise of Faithfulness  Crosswalk.com, By Albert Mohler, August 24, 2009
  Meeting barely a month after the Episcopal Church voted to end its ban on the consecration of openly homosexual bishops and the blessing of same-sex unions, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America [ELCA] has taken similar steps. Meeting last week in Minneapolis, the Lutherans voted first to adopt a comprehensive statement on human sexuality that at least allows for the recognition and blessing of same-sex relationships in the church. Beyond this, it establishes a platform for the eventual acceptance and affirmation of same-sex marriage ceremonies. Then, acting just as the week came to an end, the denomination voted to eliminate barriers that had prevented non-celibate homosexual ministers from serving in ELCA churches. The vote to affirm the new statement on human sexuality was close -- receiving the exact number of positive votes necessary for passage -- but, taken together, the two actions signal a massive seismic shift, not only in the ELCA, but also in the larger denominational world. For advocates of the normalization of homosexuality, the votes in Minneapolis represent a clean sweep of votes their way. The churches and denominations of mainline Protestantism are being torn asunder over the issue of homosexuality. Denomination after denomination becomes the focus of national attention as it meets for crucial votes and decides its future. Observers of the ELCA had seen this process extended through years of study and controversy. In the view of many, the process mostly served to postpone the inevitable. The inevitable happened in Minneapolis. The inevitability of the votes to allow the affirmation of homosexual unions and the calling of homosexual ministers is rooted in decisions made prior to those crucial votes. The actions in Minneapolis would be inconceivable but for the fact that the denomination has for decades allowed increasing theological pluralism to mark its membership and its leadership. But plainly, this pluralism allows for radically different theologies to reside within one denomination and for fundamentally divergent understandings of Scripture and biblical authority to coexist. All parties now recognize that this coexistence will be very hard to maintain. For those who believe that the votes in Minneapolis represent the church's endorsement of sin, heartbreaking decisions now cannot be avoided. The social statement adopted in Minneapolis, "Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust," is itself a parable of the mainline Protestant predicament. More than anything else, the document represents an attempt to present two irreconcilable understandings side-by-side. The document simply cannot avoid acknowledging that some within the ELCA believe that all homosexual acts and behaviors are explicitly condemned as sin in Scripture, while others believe that the biblical text can be reinterpreted to allow for the total acceptance of homosexual relationships on par with heterosexual marriage. . .
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  ELCA Assembly: Was God in Either Whirlwind?  Christianity Today, By Ted Olsen, August 20, 2009
  Tornado touches convention center as Lutherans approve sexuality statement by the exact margin it needed to pass. . .

RELATED DOCUMENT:  Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust
A proposed social statement from the Task Force for ELCA Studies on Sexuality: Frequently Asked Questions


RELATED ARTICLE:  Till Death Do Them Part: The Deadly Consequences Of Homosexual Unions  Catholic Citizens.org, By Dr. Brian Kopp, December 5, 2003
According to Dr. Kopp, "The best scientific evidence suggests that putting society's stamp of approval on homosexual partnerships would harm society in general and homosexuals in particular, the very individuals some contend would be helped. A large body of scientific evidence suggests that homosexual marriage is a defective counterfeit of traditional marriage and that it poses a clear and present danger to the health of the community. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Losing their grip  Boundless magazine, By by Matt Kaufman
"How has it gotten to the point that when I tell others that I am a Lutheran ... I have to qualify it as not being the type that supports homosexuality?" Good question, and not just for Lutherans. The answer is a case study in how many Christian churches — and Christians — can go off track. The deeper problem here isn't homosexuality. ELCA has been walking down the wrong path for years now; this was just the latest step. Where they really went wrong was when they lost sight of the Bible. I won't walk you through the history of Lutheranism in America: It's long and involved enough for professors to teach classes. (I know: I've taken one.) But here's the most important part. In the 20th century, a movement called Historical Criticism — which had already rolled through much of Europe — surged through the seminaries of numerous American church bodies. Basically, it was the view that Mumm voiced above: The Bible was written by men and it's full of mistakes. Yes, the critics said, the Bible contains the Word of God, but it's mixed in with all sorts of human errors. It must be interpreted in the light of modern, enlightened thought. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Quakers 'to allow gay marriages'   BBC News, July 30, 2009
One of the UK's oldest Christian denominations - the Quakers - looks set to extend marriage services to same-sex couples at their yearly meeting later. The society has already held religious blessings for same-sex couples who have had a civil partnership ceremony. But agreeing to perform gay marriages, which are currently not allowed under civil law, could bring the Quakers into conflict with the government. The issue of active homosexuality has bitterly divided Churches. But the BBC's religious affairs correspondent Robert Pigott said the Quakers had been more prepared than other groups to reinterpret the Bible in the light of contemporary life. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Oxymoronic 'homosexual Christians' focus of Barna report  OneNewsNow, By Jim Brown, June 29, 2009
A conservative activist is questioning some of the conclusions Christian researcher George Barna reached in his "Spiritual Profile of Homosexual Adults.". . . . . . Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality, believes Barna speaks "too cavalierly" about "homosexual Christians." "My test is [to] substitute another sexual sin and see if it makes sense. Would we be talking about a survey of porn-using Christians or incestuous Christians? That sounds stark, but that's, I believe, the appropriate biblical analogy," he contends. Barna, LaBarbera says, is naïve if he thinks the homosexual activist movement is not made up of "hedonistic Christian bashers." "I think there are Christians who struggle with the sin of homosexuality -- but proud homosexual Christians? That's an oxymoron to me in the same way as I would say proud adulterous Christians," he adds. "And so, I think we have to be very careful because I see the tactic of the Emergent Church and the Christian left is to start talking more and more about 'gay Christians,' and what they end up doing is demonizing the so-called 'Religious Right' and saying that the Religious Right is all wrong in the way it has talked about homosexuality.". . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  “Who Are You to Judge Others?” - In Defense of Making Moral Judgments   By Paul Copan, Ph.D.,  Areopagus Journal 1/3 (July 2001): 30-35.
It’s been said that the most frequently quoted Bible verse is no longer John 3:16 but Matthew 7:1: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”  We cannot glibly quote this, though, without understanding what Jesus meant.  When Jesus condemned judging, he wasn’t at all implying we should never make judgments about anyone.  After all, a few verses later, Jesus himself calls certain people “pigs” and “dogs” (Matt. 7:6) and “wolves in sheep’s clothing” (7:15)!  Any act of church discipline (1 Cor. 5:5) and rebuking false prophets (1 John 4:1) requires judgment.  What Jesus condemns is a critical and judgmental spirit, an unholy sense of moral superiority.  Jesus commanded us to examine ourselves first for the problems we so easily see in others.  Only then can we help remove the speck in another’s eye—which, incidentally, assumes that a problem exists and must be confronted.  But let’s take a closer look at this charge that Christians are judgmental when we speak out on moral issues. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Responding to Pro-Gay Theology  NARTH.com, By Joe Dallas*
This three-part series will address the pro-gay theology by dividing its arguments--or tenets--into three categories: social justice arguments, general religious arguments, and scriptural arguments. A brief description of these arguments will be provided, followed by a response/rebuttal to each. . . . Major denominations ordaining homosexuals, priests and clergy presiding over same-sex weddings, sanctuaries invaded by boisterous gay activists, debates over homosexuality ripping congregations apart-who would have guessed we would ever reach such a point in church history?. . . . .When God is reputed to sanction what He has already clearly forbidden, then a religious travesty is being played out, and boldly. Confronting it is necessary because it (the pro-gay theology) asks us to confirm professing Christians in their sin, when we are Biblically commanded to do just the opposite. . .

* Editor's Note:  The author of this article, Joe Dallas, is a former gay rights activist and staff member of the largely gay Metropolitan Community Church. He is the Founder of Genesis Counseling and has worked with hundreds of men and women struggling with homosexuality and related problems. He has authored several books on homosexuality, among them: * A Strong Delusion: Confronting the "Gay Christian" Movement   * Desires in Conflict   * Unforgiven Sins   * The Game Plan: The Men's 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity   * When Homosexuality Hits Home: What to Do When a Loved One Says They're Gay 

RELATED ARTICLE:  Judaism's Sexual Revolution: Why Judaism (and then Christianity) Rejected Homosexuality  Orthodoxy Today, By Dennis Prager
When Judaism demanded that all sexual activity be channeled into marriage, it changed the world. The Torah's prohibition of non-marital sex quite simply made the creation of Western civilization possible. Societies that did not place boundaries around sexuality were stymied in their development. The subsequent dominance of the Western world can largely be attributed to the sexual revolution initiated by Judaism and later carried forward by Christianity. . . . .The revolutionary nature of Judaism's prohibiting all forms of non-marital sex was nowhere more radical, more challenging to the prevailing assumptions of mankind, than with regard to homosexuality. Indeed, Judaism may be said to have invented the notion of homosexuality, for in the ancient world sexuality was not divided between heterosexuality and homosexuality. That division was the Bible's doing. Before the Bible, the world divided sexuality between penetrator (active partner) and penetrated (passive partner). . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Dale Martin's "arsenokoites and malakos" tried and found wanting  Currents in Theology and Mission, By Gary R. Jepsen, October 2006 
In the multifaceted debate regarding homosexuality and the church, an issue that has surfaced is the proper interpretation of 1 Cor 6:9-10, where Paul writes that neither "homosexuals nor sodomites" (NKJV) shall inherit the kingdom of God. At first glance, the meaning of "homosexuals and sodomites" seems rather clear. But "Not so!" say those who advocate the normalization of homosexuality. Thus, this passage has become a hot issue with scholars aligning themselves along two basic lines of thought. Some say that the original words in Greek have been translated in an unnecessarily harsh way that condemns all homosexual behavior when in fact, they contend, Paul was merely condemning homosexual rape and other forms of sexual exploitation. Others reject this revisionist interpretation and hold that the traditional translation of the text (for example, as rendered above in the NKJV) is fair and accurate. This would be a traditionalist approach. So, who's right?. . .

• Kourtney Kardashian Agonized Over Whether to Keep Her Baby   People magazine, By David Caplan, August 19, 2009
  Kourtney Kardashian's unplanned pregnancy forced the shocked reality TV star to make one of the most difficult decisions in her life: Would she have the baby or terminate the pregnancy? "I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn't thinking about adoption," Kardashian, 30, who was shooting E!'s Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami at the time, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I do think every woman should have the right to do what they want, but I don't think it's talked through enough. I can't even tell you how many people just say, 'Oh, get an abortion.' Like it's not a big deal." Scott Disick, the baby's 26-year-old father, was supportive either way. The pair had split in November after two years of dating, but reconciled shortly after finding out she was pregnant. "He wanted me to talk about it more, but I just kept to myself," she says. "He said, 'I really want you to keep it, but I will support you whatever you decide to do.'" Confused and concerned, Kardashian says, "I called my best friend crying, and I was like, 'I don't know what to do.' She said, 'Call your doctor, and at least find out the risks and stuff.' " So Kardashian discussed abortion with her physician, and then headed to the Internet to do further research. "I looked online, and I was sitting on the bed hysterically crying, reading these stories of people who felt so guilty from having an abortion," she recalls. "I was reading these things of how many people are traumatized by it afterwards." After scouring the Internet, Kardashian says she started to realize that an abortion wasn't an option for her. . .
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Kourtney Kardashian: How I Told My Family I'm Pregnant  People magazine, By David Caplan, August 18, 2009
  Once Kourtney Kardashian learned in May that a fling with her then-ex boyfriend Scott Disick had resulted in an unplanned pregnancy, the reality TV star had to face her next hurdle: Telling her sisters and mom, who's distrust of Disick had been well-documented on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. . . . . "Khloe and I called Kim on speakerphone, and I made Khloe tell her. I think Kim thought we were lying! Kim was excited, but I feel like her first reaction was like, 'Why? What are you doing?. . .

RELATED VIDEO:  This is Abortion  RATED: MA (Mature Audiences Only)
WARNING: Contains graphic post-abortion pictures. Be Warned! The Visual Evidence is Disturbing.


RELATED VIDEO:  ABORTION - The Silent Scream  Part 1 2 3 4 5 
Complete Version Pro-life Anti-Abortion Video.   

RELATED ARTICLE:  The 'afterwards' of abortion  The Jamaica Gleaner, By Esther Tyson, March 02, 2008
Amid the debate that is raging concerning the rights of the child as against the rights of the mother and on whether life begins at conception or after 12 weeks, I want to introduce a story - the story of women who have faced the choice of abortion and what they went through afterwards. I remember being on the UWI, Mona campus in the 1970s and a friend of mine became pregnant in her second year. Her boyfriend, a medical student, wanted nothing to do with a pregnant girlfriend. She was advised to abort it by the boyfriend and the boyfriend's parents, who had no intention of having their son disrupt his medical career by this ill-timed baby. She, on her side, had a father who advised her to abort the baby and a mother who was not around for her. She was in the United States. She, a normally bubbly, vivacious sophisticate became a confused, desolate girl. She was not sure she wanted to do the abortion. Why? She had already had one. She already had to go to the psychiatrist for treatment for the post-traumatic distress she was experiencing from doing the first abortion. She could not face the thought of doing another abortion. After going through much struggle she decided to keep her baby. She left campus, had her baby and returned later to complete her degree. There are many such stories out there, many cases of women who are undergoing serious psychological problems such as suicidal thoughts. . . . The pressing call for abortion is due to society's desire for a free sexual lifestyle. This breeds the need to destroy an unwanted baby, the outcome of sex, limb by limb. Let's look back and destroy the root cause, not the offshoot of the problem. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  The Suicide of Emma Beck and Silence No More  Townhall.com, By Michelle Malkin, February 27, 2008
She didn't have to die. And neither did her unborn children. Over the weekend, London newspapers reported on the 2007 suicide of 30-year-old Emma Beck, a young British artist who hung herself after the abortion of her twin babies. Perhaps the retelling of her suffering can prevent more needless deaths.The agony and loneliness in Emma Beck's suicide note resonate across the pond, across racial and class lines, across generations. She was distraught over a breakup with her boyfriend, who didn't want the children. She was suffering intense grief from her decision to end the lives inside her. And so she ended her own. . . . .What you rarely read are the stories of untold women (and men) around the world who know the vaunted choice they made was wrong and need help. What you rarely see are the studies showing that with abortion come lifelong costs and consequences -- high levels of post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, grief, ostracism, guilt and, in at least one study in Finland, higher suicide rates. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Abortion: An inconvenient truth within marriage   Editorial- The Real Proposal magazine, January 26, 2008
"...But the story I most want to tell—and one I have never heard—is of abortion as an intimate part of a couple’s life together. Our abortion was a love story. I’d worried that Walter and I were rejecting a gift from the universe. What I discovered, though, was that when we stripped away the distractions of everyday life so that we could make this difficult decision together, it bound us together as surely as if our choice had been different—and as it turns out, that was the gift..."

Read Ms. Piepmeier's account of the events leading up to her abortion for yourself, and it will become clear that she and [her husband] Walter found themselves caught in moral quicksand. It will also become clear that the ultimate decision to abort their baby for the sheer inconvenience left them with no option other than to justify and rationalize what they already knew very clearly in their consciences was WRONG. Indeed, if they dig deep enough, they could come to the rather disturbing conclusion that the special "bond" they now share could be likened to that of co-conspirators in a regular murder. They have a bond alright. But it is not based on anything noble. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  The SLED Test – Four Top Arguments  Heartlink.org, By Steve Wagner
We all agree that toddlers are valuable human beings with rights. Yet the unborn differ from toddlers in only four ways, and the first letters of each of these differences spell an easy-to-remember acronym, SLED (Size, Level of Development, Environment, Degree of Dependency).


RELATED SITE:  THE CASE FOR LIFE: Like You Have Never Heard It Before
Only One Issue: The abortion controversy is not a debate between those who are pro-choice and those who are anti-choice. It’s not about privacy or trusting women. To the contrary, the debate turns on one key question. What is the Unborn?


RELATED SITE:  Abort73.com: The Case Against Abortion

• Obama follows through, files to repeal DOMA  OneNewsNow, By Jim Brown and Charlie Butts, August 18, 2009
  A conservative black pastor in Washington, DC, is expressing outrage over President Obama's decision to file a legal brief in support of repealing the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). A new brief filed yesterday by Justice Department lawyer Scott Simpson declares that the Obama administration "does not support DOMA as a matter of policy," and "believes that the Act is discriminatory and should be repealed by Congress." In a written statement, President Obama states that he has "long held that DOMA prevents LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered] couples from being granted equal rights and benefits." In fact, as a U.S. senator representing Illinois, Obama stated his support for "the complete repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act." Bishop Harry Jackson, Jr., chairman of the High Impact Leadership Coalition, says the Obama administration's brief is "an assault on biblical, God-ordained marriage." Evidently the president signaled to us during the Stonewall celebration, when he had all of the gay activists into the White House and made presentations of what he would do for them, that he values this constituency and he is responding to their urging to accelerate the process of redefining marriage," he points out. "So, I think it is very hypocritical on his part. I'm very outraged." Jackson is joined in indignation by Brian Raum of the Alliance Defense Fund, who is disappointed the Justice Department is challenging the law which was passed in 1996. "It's really troubling that the federal government has taken a position that federal policy is bad policy," says the attorney. "Federal DOMA was passed overwhelmingly and represents the prevailing view of the people of the United States that marriage is between a man and a woman and that's the optimal environment for raising kids," Raum contends. According to Raum, DOMA also provides protection for states. "Well, federal DOMA makes it clear that states have the right to regulate marriage within their borders and that they cannot be forced to recognize same-sex 'marriages' from some other states," Raum explains. "If federal DOMA were to be struck down, that whole area of the law would be in jeopardy." Jackson says as African-Americans, President Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder both should know that same-sex marriage is not a civil rights issue, and that opposition to same-sex marriage is not the moral equivalent of racism. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Obama administration moves to strike down Defense of Marriage Act   OneNewsNow, By Jim Brown, August 17, 2009
A pro-family leader says the Obama administration is playing dishonest "Chicago-style politics" by defending the Defense of Marriage Act while undermining the law in a court filing. The Obama Justice Department today filed court papers claiming the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act discriminates against homosexuals. In the meantime, the DOJ lawyers are seeking to dismiss a suit brought by a homosexual California couple challenging DOMA. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  An Open Letter to President Obama   Townhall.com, By Harry R. Jackson, July 13, 2009
The following is an excerpt from a letter that will be sent this week to President Obama from leaders in the African-American community. Two events have precipitated the writing of this letter.
1.    The President hosted a Stonewall Riot 40th anniversary celebration at the White House, when no such meeting has been afforded to African-American clergy to date.

2.    The legal attempt to overthrow the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) that has come out of Massachusetts last week. . .


RELATED ARTICLE: Yes, we did. But we're not ready to throw confetti  Editorial-The Real Proposal magazine, Originally Published November 08, 2008
We have no interest in deciphering Mr. Obama's "nuances" such as when he states his belief that marriage is "between a man and a woman," and that he is "not in favor of gay marriage," while, at the same time, reiterating his clear opposition to Proposition 8 — the California ballot measure which has, at least for now, restored to the state of California the traditional definition of marriage that was usurped by a renegade State Supreme Court to include same-sex couples. Let's just look at the facts. Mr. Obama has indicated clearly to homosexual lobby groups his unequivocal determination to invoke a complete repeal of both sections of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which, essentially, defines marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman for purposes of all federal laws, and provides that states need not recognize a marriage from another state if it is between persons of the same sex. As a constitutional scholar, Mr. Obama knows exactly what this would mean to those, now, 30 states that have voted to amend their state constitutions to protect the definition of marriage between one man and one woman. A repeal of the DOMA would likely mean renewed challenges to the amended constitutions of these states by homosexual lobby groups, who are seemingly able to  bend the ears of our state judiciaries with the kind of compassionate ill-logic and false arguments that demand legislation from the bench. This is precisely what is happening now in California, even after a clear and decisive victory — for the second time — to secure the traditional definition of marriage in state law, according to the democratic will of the people. Homosexuals typically argue that such legislative intervention is authorized by and entrenched in our constitution to protect minorities from the "tyrannical will of the majority." But isn't that the very definition of tyranny?. . .

• The Angelina Jolie effect (or how single women chase after married men)  The Daily Mail- UK, By Fiona Macrae, August 14, 2009
  As any single woman will tell you, all the good men are taken. But that makes them all the more attractive, apparently. Research shows that single women view married men as better catches than bachelors. The fact that they have someone else's seal of approval adds to their desirability. The phenomenon known as "mate poaching", could perhaps explain why Angelina Jolie fell for Brad Pitt, despite him being seemingly happily married to Jennifer Aniston. The U.S. researchers showed 100 single and married university students pictures of the same man and asked them how attractive they found him and whether they would try to start a romance with him. In each case the labelling on the photo had been tailored to suit what the volunteer liked in a man. In addition, sometimes the man was described as single and other times he was said to be attached. A group of men did the same with the picture of a woman.The Oklahoma State University study found that the men were most drawn to the women when they thought she was single - but the reverse was true for tbhe unattached women. They, it transpired, had their sights set on the 'married' man. Four times as many of them were interested in him when they thought he was attached, as were keen on him as a singleton. In contrast, married women were far more interested in the single man - suggesting they either respected the bonds of marriage more, or yearned for a free spirit.  Writing in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the researchers said: "Single women n this study were significantly more interested in the man when he was attached. This may be because an attached man has demonstrated his ability to commit and in some ways his qualities have already been "pre-screened" by another woman." But men do not necessarily have the high moral ground. Previous research has found that a man is more likely to lure a woman out of a relationship than a woman is to try to poach a married man. The study also found that up to one in five longterm relationships begin when one or both partners are involved with someone else. . .

RELATED REPORT (PDF):  Journal of Experimental Social Psychology


RELATED ARTICLE:  Brad Pitt Extras: Life With Angelina, His Spirituality and More    Parade magazine, By Dotson Rader, August 05, 2009
The right to love: "It's ridiculous that Prop 8 took away gay people's right to marry! I have no understanding of that kind of hatred. . .

RELATED ARTICLE & COMMENTS:  Do Single Women Seek Attached Men?   New York Times, By John Tierney, August 13, 2009
Researchers have debated for years whether men or women are likelier to engage in “mate poaching.” Some surveys indicated that men had a stronger tendency to go after other people’s partners, but was that just because men were more likely to admit engaging in this behavior? Now there’s experimental evidence that single women are particularly drawn to other people’s partners, according to a report in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology by two social psychologists, Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University. . .


RELATED ARTICLE: Brangelina Triangle Tragedy: Marriage Vows Don't Count- Editorial-TheReal Proposal magazine, December 22, 2006
One of the things we know for sure in life is that nothing just happens. Science bears out this point with a well-established, immutable law of cause and effect. So, to hear Angelina Jolie play the "it-just-happened” card in a recent interview for the January 2007 issue of Vogue magazine to explain how her relationship with Brad Pitt evolved on the movie set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, while he was still married to "best friend," Jennifer Aniston, was very disappointing. . .



RELATED ARTICLE:  Brad Pitt: ‘They’re really nasty out here’: Actor says end of marriage to Aniston ‘complex and multifaceted’  MSNBC.com- Access Hollywood, May 12, 2005
The 41-year old Pitt says inside the book that he doesn’t understand why the end of the marriage is viewed as a failure. “It’s talked about like it failed. I guess because it wasn’t flawless,” he says. “Me, I embrace the messiness of life. I find it so beautiful, actually. The idea that marriage has to be for all time — that I don’t understand.”. . .

• Kate: I’m still wearing wedding ring for my kids
  She denies affair, lashes out at her brother, says breakup was inevitable  MSNBC.com- Today, By Mike Celizic, August 10, 2009
  An emotional Kate Gosselin, still wearing her wedding ring, said that she’s doing as well as can be expected in the wake of the breakup of her marriage — but still has times when she feels like a failure. “I am as well as can be expected. I’m determined to hang in there,” Gosselin told TODAY’s Meredith Vieira in her first interview since she and her husband, Jon, confirmed that they were getting a divorce. “What life hands me, I’m going to do. My focus still is the health and well-being of my children as well as myself.” Vieira asked her if part of her still loves Jon. “When I think back to the Jon that I knew, yes,” Gosselin replied haltingly. ‘A lot of failure’ Gosselin broke down, brushing away tears with a tissue, when Vieira noted that she was still wearing her wedding ring. “Why?” Vieira asked. “For them,” Gosselin said with difficulty, in reference to her eight children. “I don’t want to upset them.” Vieira asked her about a published statement in which she said she sometimes feels like a failure. “I wake up and I do feel a lot of failure,” Gosselin acknowledged. “This is not what any mother sets out for their children. It’s necessary. It has to take place. I think I’ve turned the focus on myself. I want my children to see a mother who’s committed to her children, who’s determined, who has integrity and perseverance and never gives up. Everything I’ve done for them is out of love.”. . . . . .She also said she was deeply hurt when her brother, Kreider, began telling stories to tabloids about her marriage, alleged affairs and her parenting skills, which have been called into question. “That’s probably one of the most hurtful things in all of this, when family turns on you and makes up lies and makes allegations and makes tens of thousands of dollars for doing it,” Gosselin told Vieira. “This has become a business for them. It’s a huge source of income for them to do this. It’s almost too hurtful for words. This is a brother I was very, very close to.”. . . . . Gosselin said that she is trying to ease the children into the idea that the family they knew is no more. . .
  

RELATED VIDEO:  Kate Gosselin: I still love the Jon I knew  MSNBC.com-Today, August 10, 2009


RELATED ARTICLE & VIDEO: Regis Asks Kate Gosselin: What If Jon Came Back?   People magazine, By Stephen M. Silverman, August 13, 2009

RELATED ARTICLE:  Toll of Divorce on Children, Lindsay Lohan  The Christian Post, By Nathan Black, October 26 2007
Can children recover from their parents' divorce? With divorce no longer the shocking reality it once was decades ago, even within the Christian community, a pro-family ministry dedicated to restoring marriages is drawing attention to the children affected by separated parents and the negative toll it could have on them. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Unexpected Legacy of Divorce  PBS.org, December 19, 2000
One-quarter of the adults in this country under the age of 44 are children of divorce. A new book, "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce," by Judith Wallerstein, Julia Louis, and Sandra Blakesly, explores how divorce continues to shape the lives of young people, even after they reach full adulthood. The book builds on therapist Judith Wallerstein's 30-year study of 131 children and adolescents from 60 divorcing families in Marin County, just North of San Francisco. Wallerstein is the founder of the Judith Wallerstein Center for the Family in Transition. You've been looking at these kids-- and now adults-- for 30 years. What's the legacy now that they're adults of divorce?. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Transcript From Chat with Dr. Judith Wallerstein   PBS.org, April 18, 2001


RELATED ARTICLE:   Dr. Bad News   Salon.com, By Cathy Young, October 3, 2000
After conducting a massive 25-year study, Judith Wallerstein concludes that children of divorce are hit hardest after they grow up. . .

• You Drive Me Crazy: What Layoffs Do to a Marriage  Wall Street Journal, By Elizabeth Berstein, August 11, 2009
  Ever since Izabela Raczynski-Bell was laid off from her human resources position last December, she has tried to keep herself busy at home. She job hunts, works on her house and garden, bakes dog biscuits using the fresh herbs she’s grown, and watches her village’s board meetings on cable TV. By the time her husband comes home from work, she is desperate for attention. “He doesn’t even have time to decompress before I bombard him with blah blah blah,” says Ms. Raczynski-Bell, who lives in Mount Prospect, Ill. “He gets updates that seven more blueberries ripened today, the cantaloupe isn’t doing so well, or one of the dogs lost a whisker.” On particularly lonely days, Ms. Raczynski-Bell, 30 years old, emails pictures of their pets to her husband at work. At night, she begs him to stay up late and watch “Real Housewives of New Jersey” or “NYC Prep.” And on weekends, after being cooped up all week, she pleads with him to go out with her, even if it’s just to the grocery store. “She’s my best friend, so I feel an obligation to her,” says Jason Bell, 38, an operations support director for a water company. “But it’s a huge stress.” We’ve all heard the jokes: “Retirement means half as much money—and twice as much spouse.” “For better or worse—but not for lunch.” Generations of retirees have chuckled knowingly at them. But now, thanks to the recession and the millions of layoffs it has produced, many young couples far from retirement age are discovering there’s more than a little truth in the humor. When one spouse (or both) stops working, the impact on the relationship can be profound. Layoffs, of course, typically differ from retirement in several key regards. They are sudden and beyond our control, for starters. Because of this, psychologists say, the stress they put on a marriage or significant relationship can be even greater than retirement. Most obviously, a layoff brings financial worries about mortgages, children and feeding the 401(k). When money is tight, couples—many of whom plan their lives around two incomes—often argue, blaming each other for things such as poor career management, insufficiently rigorous job hunting or overspending. . .
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  In Crisis, Wall Street Turns to Prayer: Financial meltdown triggers prayer sessions citywide   Christianity Today, By Tony Carnes, September 19, 2008
  Starting early last Sunday morning, the turmoil in New York's financial markets triggered a spiritual response among Christian leaders reminiscent of the response to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. . . . .Mac Pier of the New York Leadership Center started getting calls from friends who were losing their jobs. "Of course, I prayed with them that God would give them the spiritual and financial resources they need." Pier says that the Wall Streeters who called him were stunned. "It was unnerving to them because of the speed [at which] it happened.". . . . .Rice says the emotional impact of the current crisis on Wall Streeters is amplified by attitudes like those described by the chief operating officer. "There is an element of, 'I am master of my fate. I put in 18-hour days and am making it.' Then, this crisis pulls the rug out from under them. This may be the first dislocation of their lives. Their savings have disappeared in 15 minutes.". . .

• Mel Gibson's girlfriend talks love, luck  CNN.com, August 11, 2009
  STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  * Oksana Grigorieva and Mel Gibson have been a couple for at least a year
  * Grigorieva has a new album, "Beautiful Heartache"
  * Singer is pregnant with Gibson's child, describes Gibson as "a visionary"
  
  In her first television interview since Mel Gibson went public with their relationship in April, his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, made it clear to CNN: "I'd like to be known for my music." Still, the 39-year-old singer was willing to talk about her beau and her pregnancy, as well as her new album, "Beautiful Heartache." "Beautiful Heartache" was released to iTunes on July 23 by Icon Distribution, Gibson's company, which up until now has handled only soundtracks for his movies. "He's an incredible artist," Grigorieva said. "A visionary. He enabled me to produce this album, for my music to live." The Oscar-winning ("Braveheart") filmmaker also directed four music videos for Grigorieva during a whirlwind week in Mexico. "They're like dramatic miniature films -- a whirlpool of different, exciting, bright images. That's quite rare," she said. . . . . Grigorieva has a background in music. She said she was classically trained as a pianist in her native Russia, and both her parents are musicians. In 2006, a song she penned called "Un Dia Llegara" was recorded by Josh Groban for his album "Awake." Though she describes her album as being about "different facets of love," she cautions that listeners shouldn't overthink the lyrics. "This album is not autobiographical -- maybe only partially so. It's not a diary." Gibson, 53, and his wife of nearly 30 years, Robyn, filed for divorce in April. The two have seven children. Grigorieva and Gibson were first photographed together on the set of his movie "Edge of Darkness," according to People magazine. Grigorieva is pregnant with Gibson's child and is to give birth this year. . .

RELATED VIDEO INTERVIEW: Mel Gibson's girlfriend talks love, luck  CNN.com, August 11, 2009


RELATED MUSIC VIDEO:  Oksana Grigorieva Beautiful Heartache  July 13, 2009


RELATED SITE:  Oksana Grigorieva

RELATED ARTICLE:  Let's End Disposable Marriage  CNN.com, By Leah Ward Sears, July 2, 2009
Story Highlights
*  Leah Sears: My brother despaired at the effects of divorce
*  She says America's disposable marriages are hurting parents and children
*  She says it's become too easy for people to walk away from their marriages
Editor's note: Leah Ward Sears stepped down this week as Chief Justice of the Georgia Supreme Court. In 1992, she became the first woman -- and youngest person -- appointed to Georgia's highest court.

RELATED ARTICLE:  The Truth About American Marriage. Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors   Parade magazine, By Leslie Bennetts, September 21, 2008
Judging by recent headlines, it's been a very bad year for American marriages. John Edwards admitted to cheating on his cancer-stricken wife, Elizabeth, and lying about his affair to the public. Because of his use of a high-priced call-girl service, Eliot Spitzer lost his job as New York's governor. His successor, David Paterson, then announced that both he and his wife had had affairs while they were separated. Comedian Bill Murray and his wife, Jennifer, divorced amid allegations of his infidelity and sexual addiction. Model Christie Brinkley battled her husband in court over his affair with a teenager and his online porn habit. Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez's wife, Cynthia, accused him of running around with everyone from strippers to Madonna. The obvious conclusion to draw from these stories is that marriage in the U.S. is a toxic mess. But are deception and betrayal really more common today than marital love and respect? Not according to the findings of a new national poll commissioned by PARADE. . .


RELATED SURVEY RESULTS: The Truth About American Marriage  Parade magazine, September 21, 2008
Survey results based on interviews with 1001 married Americans (501 men, 500 women), ages 18 and over, conducted from May 28 to June 7, 2008, by Insight Express.

RELATED POLL: How's Your Marriage? Take our online poll  PARADE magazine, September 2008

• In Marriage, Worse First Can Mean Better Later   TIME magazine By Tiffany Sharples, August 08, 2009
  Just a few months before John Gottman, a leading American marriage researcher and psychologist, was to be married, his father died, leaving Gottman to contend with overwhelming loss during what should have been one of the happiest times of his life. No one would have blamed him for putting the wedding on hold. But in the end, Gottman says, the strain of dealing with his grief made him that much more devoted to his future bride. "My wife helped me through it," he says. "I was able to cope with the loss, and it was really a bonding experience." Few couples would choose to marry during periods of severe relationship stress, but then, trials come unexpectedly — you can't plan for layoffs, illness or a raging wildfire that forces a change in wedding venue 24 hours before the big event. That bad start, however, can have benefits. While an abundance of research shows that stressful life events often amplify a couple's problems — turning a husband's short temper into abuse, for example — and increase the likelihood of divorce, studies also show that hardship can have an upside. For some couples, it's protective, helping solidify their commitment into an unshakable us-vs.-the-world resolve. Data from the Great Depression suggest, for instance, that economic adversity held many couples together. "Those families who were cohesive before the Depression, they banded together as a team and really became more cohesive in dealing with the economic crisis," says Gottman — surely good news for the untold numbers of newlyweds who have faced job loss or foreclosure in the past year. Surviving the gauntlet of misfortune early in a relationship can be a valuable litmus test, say counselors. A relationship crisis "smashes the illusion of invulnerability," says William Doherty, a psychologist and marriage researcher who runs the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota. That illusion, he says, "was going to go away anyway, and I don't think there's any great loss to it going away sooner than later." So what about all those unlucky couples whose early years are marked by nothing but peace and happiness — what is their litmus test? There are two key predictors of a resilient relationship, experts say: mutual support and a willingness to sacrifice. . .
  

RELATED ARTICLE:  The Strong Marriages of Euna Lee and Laura Ling  The Examiner, By Kristen Houghton, August 6, 2009
The two journalists who were freed from a North Korea prison and the horror of the possibility of a 12 year sentence at hard labor, (through the private diplomatic efforts of Bill Clinton), are women who have personal and private lives. Besides being known worldwide for their ordeal, both Euna Lee and  Laura Ling are wives, daughters, sisters, and daughters-in-law. Euna is also a mother. While all the relationships mentioned help define us as individuals and offer their own sources of strength, today's article addresses how a supportive marriage can be a source of strength to  us in times of crisis. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  The Half-Hearted Marriage: Commitment means making a choice to give up other choices  FOTF.com, By Scott Stanley
Why Do Couples Fear Commitment? Commitment means making a choice to give up other choices. This simple truth explains why marriage can be so difficult. We don't like to give up options in life, and our culture screams at us to hang on to them all. But great marriages are based on a deep commitment that casts aside all options but one. More and more couples fear committing in marriage because they have seen so many marriages fail. Since marriage seems so much like gambling, many hedge their bets. For example, many couples live together to test their relationship, even though studies show that living together before marriage increases the risk of divorce. Likewise, 94 percent of singles believe that finding one's soul mate is crucial for marital success. Too often this belief compels singles to search for the perfect mate – someone who does not exist. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  In love? It's not enough to keep a marriage, study finds    Reuters, July 14, 2009
Living happily ever after needn't only be for fairy tales. Australian researchers have identified what it takes to keep a couple together, and it's a lot more than just being in love. . .

• Knights of Columbus and Marriage Protection
  ‘No ideology can erase from the human spirit the certainty that marriage exists solely between a man and a woman'(CDF).   Catholic Online (www.catholic.org), By Deacon Keith Fournier, August 07, 2009
  The Knights of Columbus gathered in Phoenix, Arizona for their 127th Annual Convention. Among several important resolutions they passed was one entitled the “Resolution on Support for Marriage.” I set it forth below:
  
  Resolution on Support for Marriage adopted by the 127th Supreme Convention
  
  WHEREAS, marriage is a natural institution based on ancient human values that are deeply rooted in our social, legal and religious institutions; and
  
  WHEREAS, marriage is not a chance sociological or historical construction but instead reflects the natural biological complementarity of man and woman which predates the state and is woven into the social and religious fabric of every major culture and society; and
  
  WHEREAS, the Catholic Church, based on Scripture and the Judeo-Christian tradition, teaches that marriage is a faithful, exclusive and lifelong union between one man and one woman joined in an intimate partnership of life and love; and
  
  WHEREAS, marriage provides for the mutual fulfillment of spouses as well as the procreation and education of children; and
  
  WHEREAS, this mutual bond is the most vital resource for the development of society and provides the most favorable environment in which to protect the rights and the best interests of children; and . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Brad Pitt Extras: Life With Angelina, His Spirituality and More    Parade magazine, By Dotson Rader, August 05, 2009
The right to love: "It's ridiculous that Prop 8 took away gay people's right to marry! I have no understanding of that kind of hatred. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Gay Marriage, Democracy, and the Courts     Wall Street Journal, By Robert P. George, August 03, 2009
We are in the midst of a showdown over the legal definition of marriage. Though some state courts have interfered, the battle is mainly being fought in referenda around the country, where “same-sex marriage” has uniformly been rejected, and in legislatures, where some states have adopted it. It’s a raucous battle, but democracy is working. Now the fight may head to the U.S. Supreme Court. . . . . . Lawyers challenging traditional marriage laws liken their cause to Loving v. Virginia (which invalidated laws against interracial marriages), insinuating that conjugal-marriage supporters are bigots. This is ludicrous and offensive, and no one should hesitate to say so. The definition of marriage was not at stake in Loving. Everyone agreed that interracial marriages were marriages. Racists just wanted to ban them as part of the evil regime of white supremacy that the equal protection clause was designed to destroy. Opponents of racist laws in Loving did not question the idea, deeply embodied in our law and its shaping philosophical tradition, of marriage as a union that takes its distinctive character from being founded, unlike other friendships, on bodily unity of the kind that sometimes generates new life. This unity is why marriage, in our legal tradition, is consummated only by acts that are generative in kind. Such acts unite husband and wife at the most fundamental level and thus legally consummate marriage whether or not they are generative in effect, and even when conception is not sought. Of course, marital intercourse often does produce babies, and marriage is the form of relationship that is uniquely apt for childrearing (which is why, unlike baptisms and bar mitzvahs, it is a matter of vital public concern). But as a comprehensive sharing of life—an emotional and biological union—marriage has value in itself and not merely as a means to procreation. This explains why our law has historically permitted annulment of marriage for non-consummation, but not for infertility; and why acts of sodomy, even between legally wed spouses, have never been recognized as consummating marriages. .  .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Reasons to Oppose Gay Marriage    Short Report.com
This whole debate has been recast as gays demanding their civil rights. I find this wrong-headed and I couldn't disagree more with their thinking on two levels. First, our "rights" are given to us by God and only "secured" by our government. As is stated in the Declaration of Independence. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. - That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men. . . . . Our rights do not come from government -- they come from God. Government should look to God to define those basic human rights that He has granted to us. It is important to recognize that God would never grant us a "right" to do what is wrong! When a government grants rights not given to us by God, it inevitably will infringe on the rights of others. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Why Some Animals (and People) Are Gay   Time magazine, By John Cloud, June 19, 2009
We have known for at least a decade that hundreds of animal species — including birds, reptiles, mollusks and, of course, humans — engage in same-gender sexual acts. But no one is quite sure why. After all, same-sex couplings don't usually result in offspring. (I say usually because when male marine snails pair with other males, one partner conveniently changes sex, allowing for reproduction.) Evolutionarily speaking, homosexuality should have disappeared long ago. A yearlong study just completed at the University of California at Riverside offers several fascinating competing theories about why same-gender sexual behavior has endured. And although it's gay-pride month — and the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall riots that sparked the gay-rights movement — not all the theories will give same-gender-loving humans a reason to celebrate. . .

• Jillian Harris: I Am Not Worried About Claims of Infidelity   People magazine, August 4, 2009
  At a time when Bachelorette Jillian Harris and her fiancé Ed Swiderski would like to be celebrating their engagement, they’re being hit with allegations that he was not faithful — and carried on two relationships while filming The Bachelorette. Two women, Lindsey Johnson and Bethany Steffen, claim that Swiderski, a Chicago computer software consultant, was stringing them along while he was wooing Harris on the ABC reality dating show, and that he continued to do so even after he and Harris got engaged on May 24. The reports claim Harris feels betrayed and that her relationship with Swiderski is destroyed.  “I am not destroyed!” Harris tells PEOPLE. “There’s a little bit of anxiety that comes with this news, but I am absolutely not destroyed.” “What did he do wrong?” Harris asks. “My biggest concern is with everything that happened after the day we got engaged, and after we got engaged he has been so open with me. He’s told me all of this, every little text message and every little phone call. I use his computer. I know that any communication he had with the girls post-show was platonic. I’m not worried about it.’Last month, Swiderski talked openly with PEOPLE about his relationship with Johnson prior to getting engaged, confessing, “When I left for this show we were not dating, but I certainly still had feelings for her.”. . .
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Bachelorette's Jillian: I Was "Tearing Up" Over Other Women    Us magazine, August 07, 2009
  Harris still denies that Swiderski was two-timing her with Lindsey Johnson and Bethany Steffen, as both women exclusively reveal in excruciating detail in the newest issue of Us Weekly (on stands now). "It's actually very sad for me and for Ed and I'm sure for the two girls involved, who I'm sure are very regretful for saying these things that aren't true," she says. Harris swears she was "in the loop like you would not believe" about Swiderski's relationship with Johnson and Steffen, who she writes off as ex girlfriends who still have feelings for him. . .
  

RELATED VIDEO:  'The Bachelorette's' Morning After: Jillian Harris and Ed Swiderski answer questions and discuss their journey. ABC- Good Morning America, July 29, 2009

RELATED  ARTICLE:  Bachelorette Winner Cheated With Two Different Women   Us magazine, August 05, 2009
On June 4 - eight days after he popped the question to Jillian Harris on The Bachelorette finale - Ed Swiderski slept with former girlfriend Lindsey Johnson, according to the new issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands now). A day later, he tried to bed a different woman, Bethany Steffen, texting her to "bring beer and condoms" over to his place, Steffen tells Us. The humiliated women are speaking out now to warn Harris, 29, about her new fiancee's two-timing ways. Says Steffen, "Ed's not worth my time, but if I can help someone avoid heartbreak, I'm gonna do that.". . . . . .Us Weekly reports that he lied to Harris when he said he had to bow out of episode five because he thought he'd lose his job as a Chicago Microsoft consultant. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Why 'The Bachelorette' Is a Sham: One viewer's take on the flawed premise of the popular ABC dating series   MSN- TV, By Diane Vadino- Special to MSN TV
All things good, bad and spectacularly cheesy come to an end, and so, too, does this season of "The Bachelorette." We'll miss the roses and sleepovers, the endless equivocations (paraphrase: "Jillian's sort of like ... the kind of woman ... I might one day ... see as the person ... I might potentially like") and the actual inaccuracies (exact quote, from last week, from Chris, on a breakup: "It was a moment that should have taken ... moments ..." Jillian: "But took an hour and a half"). It's been suitably ridiculous: Wes! Ed goes! Ed returns! Ditto Reid! And Jillian, clearly, got what her heart most desired: not one proposal but three, and a ring to go with each. Success! For Jillian, and Ed, but not for the audience, I don't think, because I cannot believe in "The Bachelorette." I'm calling it: "The Bachelorette" is a sham. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Bachelorette’s Wes: Don’t Believe All You See on TV   People magazine- TV Watch, July 14, 2009
“There’s an old saying here in Texas,” says ex-Bachelorette contender Wes Hayden. “Believe nothing you hear and half of what you see … On that show, I wouldn’t believe anything.” After the July 6 episode, which showed the Austin singer apparently confessing to having a girlfriend and other villainous acts after getting the boot from Jillian Harris, Wes is dealing with the fallout — and contending that what people saw was not the real Wes. And after PEOPLE spoke to accused girlfriend Laurel Kagay, Wes and his ex, who he says “was 100 percent telling the truth,” have been bombarded by angry calls and emails. . .

• Article reveals stormy Fawcett-O’Neal bond
  In it, O’Neal says he didn’t recognize his daughter Tatum at Farrah’s funeral    MSNBC.com- Today, By Jonann Brady, August 03, 2009
  Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett were the golden couple of the 1970s, whose relationship and personal lives became increasingly tarnished by bad career choices, drug addiction and epic family dysfunction, according to a new article in Vanity Fair. In an interview with writer Leslie Bennetts, who described the story on TODAY Monday, O’Neal is shockingly candid about his tempestuous 30-year relationship with Fawcett and his less-than-stellar parenting skills. O’Neal, 68, reveals that he was so out of touch with his own daughter, Tatum, that he didn’t recognize her at Fawcett’s funeral and nearly tried to pick her up. . . . . O’Neal and Fawcett met in 1979, when Fawcett was still married to “The Six Million Dollar Man” actor Lee Majors. “On their first date, they kissed until their lips were bloody; by the end of their second date, Fawcett’s marriage was over,” Bennetts writes in the article. O’Neal and Fawcett were the Angelina and Brad of their day, said Bennetts. They had a child but didn’t marry, which was uncommon then. O’Neal said they were “rebels.” “We didn’t want to do what people expected us to do,” he told Bennetts. But on some levels, Bennetts said the power couple’s love affair was “sort of the story of every prom queen and high school most popular guy, football captain. “Their problems are quintessentially human problems,” Bennetts told Vieira. Fractured family- O’Neal was by Fawcett’s side during her battle with anal cancer, which was documented on video and shown on television as “Farrah’s Story.” Fawcett died at age 62 on June 25. O’Neal and Fawcett never married, though O’Neal did propose to his longtime companion on camera at the end of her life — a move that O’Neal’s own son, Griffin, dismissed as a cynical ploy for publicity and a way for his father to ensure he was in Fawcett’s will. According to Bennetts’ article, O’Neal responded to Griffin’s charge by saying, “I hate him! He knows I have money. I made a tremendous amount of money on real estate, more than I deserve.”. . .

RELATED VIDEO:  Inside Farrah & Ryan's Relationship    MSNBC.com- Today, August 03, 2009
TODAY’s Meredith Vieira talks to Vanity Fair’s Leslie Bennetts about the rocky 30-year romance between Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal.

RELATED ARTICLE:  Leslie Bennetts on Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal: "Beautiful People, Ugly Choices"   Vanity Fair.com, August 3, 2009
Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal were the Angelina and Brad of their day—dazzling sex symbol meets Hollywood hunk—until their stars were tarnished by drugs, infidelity, and family pathology. In the last days of Fawcett’s life, as cancer stripped the masks from an all-too-human drama, contributing editor Leslie Bennetts shared O’Neal’s vigil, learning the true struggles and breakthroughs of their 30-year romance. For “Beautiful People, Ugly Choices”—one of two cover stories in Vanity Fair’s September 2009 issue (to preview the Michael Jackson cover story, click here )”. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:   "In sickness and in health..." It's for more than just the flu   The RealProposal magazine- Editorial, By Donna Kassin, Originally Published June 24, 2009
It really makes one wonder, doesn’t it, why, now, after a tumultuous but long-term 29-year cohabiting relationship, Farrah is finally saying yes to Ryan’s marriage proposal? Is it just because she knows she is dying and won’t have long to put up with his “bossy” ways? Is it because she has finally seen that commitment has been the watershed issue of their relationship? Or, is there something more fundamental to these marriage vows, when taken with our eyes wide open, which recognizes that marriage is not just about a “piece of paper”? It is a deeper, spiritual acknowledgment that you are willing to walk the walk and not just talk the talk in a relationship, and that you are in it for the long haul, “forsaking all others, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, in sickness and in health till death do you part”. Somehow, “let’s live together, baby” doesn’t quite have the same feel ultimately. . .

• The Case for Early Marriage:
  Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot.   Christianity Today, By Mark Regnerus, August 2009
  Virginity pledges. Chastity balls. Courtship. Side hugs. Guarding your heart. Evangelical discourse on sex is more conservative than I've ever seen it. Parents and pastors and youth group leaders told us not to do it before we got married. Why? Because the Bible says so. Yet that simple message didn't go very far in shaping our sexual decision-making. So they kicked it up a notch and staked a battle over virginity, with pledges of abstinence and accountability structures to maintain the power of the imperative to not do what many of us felt like doing. Some of us failed, but we could become "born again virgins." Virginity mattered. But sex can be had in other ways, and many of us got creative. Then they told us that oral sex was still sex. It could spread disease, and it would make you feel bad. "Sex will be so much better if you wait until your wedding night," they urged. If we could hold out, they said, it would be worth it. The sheer glory of consummation would knock our socks off. Such is the prevailing discourse of abstinence culture in contemporary American evangelicalism. It might sound like I devalue abstinence. I don't. The problem is that not all abstainers end up happy or go on to the great sex lives they were promised. Nor do all indulgers become miserable or marital train wrecks. More simply, however, I have found that few evangelicals accomplish what their pastors and parents wanted them to. Indeed, over 90 percent of American adults experience sexual intercourse before marrying. The percentage of evangelicals who do so is not much lower. In a nationally representative study of young adults, just under 80 percent of unmarried, church- going, conservative Protestants who are currently dating someone are having sex of some sort. I'm certainly not suggesting that they cannot abstain. I'm suggesting that in the domain of sex, most of them don't and won't. What to do? Intensify the abstinence message even more? No. It won't work. The message must change, because our preoccupation with sex has unwittingly turned our attention away from the damage that Americans—including evangelicals—are doing to the institution of marriage by discouraging it and delaying it. If you think it's difficult to be pro-life in a pro-choice world, or to be a disciple of Jesus in a sea of skeptics, try advocating for young marriage. . .
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  A Marriage where Both Spouses Pursue their Career   IndoLink, By Jasmeen Dugal
  Women are undertaking significant positions in the workplace and are increasingly entering fields previously dominated by men – such as the hotel industry, as executives in multinational companies, in the police and even flying aircrafts – and they continue to work after marriage. Nowadays women are looking for a scope to express themselves in the workplace and want to utilize their formal education to explore their capacity beyond the traditional role of a wife and mother. And this is a venture that husbands and wives must face together because the couple where both spouses pursue their career is here to stay. . .
  
  
  

RELATED ARTICLE & COMMENTS: Say Yes. What Are You Waiting For?   Washington Post, By Mark Regnerus, April 26, 2009
Marriage actually works best as a formative institution, not an institution you enter once you think you're fully formed. We learn marriage, just as we learn language, and to the teachable, some lessons just come easier earlier in life.

RELATED ARTICLE:  Wait for sex and marriage? Evangelicals conflicted  Associated Press, By Eric Gorsk, August 09, 2009
When Margie and Stephen Zumbrun were battling the urge to have premarital sex, a pastor counseled them to control themselves. The couple signed a purity covenant. Then, when the two got engaged and Margie went wedding dress shopping, a salesperson called her "the bride who looks like she's 12." Nonchurch friends said that, at 22, she was rushing things. The agonizing message to a young Christian couple in love: Sex can wait, but so can marriage. "It's unreasonable to say, 'Don't do anything ... and wait until you have degrees and you're in your 30s to get married,'" said Margie Zumbrun, who did wait for sex, and married Stephen fresh out of Purdue University. "I think that's just inviting people to have sex and feel like they're bad people for doing it." Against that backdrop, a number of evangelicals are promoting marrying earlier, nudging young adults toward the altar even as many of their peers and parents are holding them back. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Married Too Young?   Getback.com, By Amy & Nancy Harrington, July 17, 2009
A news story last week broke more teeny bopper hearts than when Paul McCartney married Linda Eastman: Kevin Jonas is engaged. We can't help but wonder if he'd be rushing into the state of wedded bliss if he didn't have that purity ring on his finger. Wouldn't you be in a hurry to get hitched, too, if you were 21 and saving yourself until your wedding night? But lots of celebrities get married way too young, with mostly with unsuccessful results. Here's a look at other stars of stage and screen who tied the knot at tender ages. . .

• I want DNA test (just to be sure I really am the father) demands Jude Law  The Daily Mail- UK, By Vanessa Allen, August 03, 2009
  Jude Law is to demand a DNA test to check he is the father of a pregnant model's child. The actor has vowed to stand by Samantha Burke if she is carrying his baby, but has apparently told friends he wants to be '100 per cent certain' that the child is his. His demands for a paternity test have angered the American model's family, who insist he is the father and said his behaviour was not up to the standards of an 'English gentleman'. Miss Burke's grandmother said he had taken advantage of the 'young, innocent and silly girl' whose father had 'read him the riot act'. Delores Burke said: 'To say this family is mad at that man is an understatement. 'He has behaved as less than a gentleman. My son Denis is hopping mad. He feels that Jude Law took advantage of his little girl.' The paternity test could be carried out while Miss Burke, 24, is pregnant but carries a risk of harming the baby or even bringing on early labour. . . . . Miss Burke's lawyers have indicated that she wants a sizeable payout from Law, including a percentage of his future earnings. He makes around £3million a movie and such a deal, which would cost him millions, could be a factor in his apparent change of heart over the DNA test. He has already paid a £6million lump sum to his ex-wife Sadie Frost, the mother of his three children. Miss Burke, who is staying with her mother Lea in Pensacola, Florida, was said to have told Law about their child in a letter within the past month. The pair had a brief fling in New York last December while he was on location during the filming of his latest movie, Sherlock Holmes. . .
  
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Revealed: The two night stand with an unknown actress that will cost Jude Law millions... and maybe his dignity   The Daily Mail- UK, By Nicole Lampert and Graham Smith, August 01, 2009
  She had a brief fling with Jude last Christmas during the filming of the new Guy Ritchie movie, Sherlock Holmes. Her lawyers have confirmed that the 36-year-old actor, who has three children with ex-wife Sadie Frost, is the father of the model's unborn baby. In a statement, Jude has pledged to 'fully support' his new offspring however the actress's family are said to be horrified, and have instructed their lawyer to prepare an action to ensure mother and baby are looked after financially for the rest of their lives. But the actor is also frightened that intimate photos taken by Miss Burke will leak out. Jude is said to be 'ashed with anxiety' over the photos which keen amateur photographer Miss Burke took during their time together in New York. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  The Morning after the Night Before: Affective Reactions to One-Night Stands among Mated and Unmated Women and Men   Human Nature- Volume 19, Number 2 / June, 2008

RELATED ARTICLE:   Why so many educated, middle class women are now proud members of the One-Night Stand Generation   The Daily Mail- UK, By Diana Appleyard and Alison Smith Squire, Deceber 10, 2008
University lecturer's daughter Jo Day is not quite so uncouth as to have carved notches in her bedpost, but when she talks about sex it's fair to say she has a wealth of personal experience to draw on. 'It's a myth that women can't enjoy a brief encounter as much as a man,' declares the well-spoken 24-year-old, a trainee accountant who lives in Leeds. 'People like to think that women, in particular, are terribly regretful over a one-night stand. But I don't believe that's the case. I think women are as capable of separating love and sex as men are supposed to be.' . . . . Her behaviour is, sadly, all too typical. For a generation of young, university-educated women brought up on a diet of Madonna and Sex And The City (Samantha, the voraciously promiscuous character played by Kim Cattrall, seems to be a favourite role model), the sexual freedom she espouses is clearly something of which to be proud, not ashamed. It has become such a badge of honour that few of her age group will be surprised to learn Britain now has the dubious honour of being the 'easiest' country on the planet with regards to sex. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Brits on top in casual sex league as survey reveals we are the most promiscuous in the world   The Daily Mail-UK, By Caroline Grant, December 1, 2008
 It is far from an achievement to be proud of  -  research suggests that British men and women are the most promiscuous in the Western world. It appears the days when we took a strict moralistic approach towards sex are long gone. Researchers blamed the situation on a decline of religious scruples, the growth of equal rights for women and a highly sexualised popular culture. They found that when it comes to one-night stands, numbers of partners and attitudes to casual sex, Britain leads the field, ahead of even liberal nations such as the Netherlands and the passionate Italians. The researchers believe that our place at the top of the table could be linked to the way society has become more tolerant of sexual promiscuity among women as well as men. Women are now as accepting of one-night stands as men, they claimed. The research was led by David Schmitt, a professor of psychology at Bradley University, Illinois. . .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Understanding the Hookup Culture Townhall.com, By Allison Kasic, October 20, 2008
The hookup culture is a complete inversion of the traditional dating script: “College men used to ask women to go on dates with the hope that something sexual, such as necking or petting, might happen at the end of the date.  In the hooking-up era, this sexual norm is reversed.  College students, following the hookup script, become sexual first and then maybe go on a date someday.”


RELATED ARTICLE:  Casual sex left me feeling worthless:  How a one-night stand left one woman emotionally destroyed: New research says women bitterly regret one-night stands. But the emotional damage can go deeper than you think...  The Daily Mail— UK, By Helen Weathers, July 3, 2008
In today's heavy-drinking ladette, anything-he-can-do-I-can-do-better culture, the prevailing belief appears to be that what's good for the gander is good for the goose, too, so to speak. But is it? According to new research published last week by Anne Campbell, Professor of Psychology at Durham University, the answer appears to be a surprising no. Indeed, her findings suggest that the majority of women aren't suited to one-night stands at all, no matter how much they try to persuade themselves otherwise. .


RELATED ARTICLE:  Unprotected    Townhall.com, By Mona Charen, January 5, 2007
Meet the liberated college woman. You may pity her. "Unprotected" is a hard slap at the sexual free-for-all that prevails on American campuses and throughout American life. The author, revealed since publication as Dr. Miriam Grossman, a psychiatrist at the student health service at UCLA, was hesitant to put her name on this book. The orthodoxy within the academic world is a strict one, and those who transgress often pay with their jobs. Let's hope for her sake, but particularly for her patients' well being, that she is not punished for her heterodox views. What does Dr. Grossman believe that is so dangerous to admit? Well, start with ordinary sex. She believes that casual, promiscuous sex is tough on many women. They are hard-wired to bond with those they have sex with (the hormone oxytocin is implicated), and she sees countless female students reporting stress, eating disorders and even depression for reasons they cannot understand. After all, the world sells them on the notion that sex is pure recreation, that the "hook-up" culture is natural and even empowering to women, and that love and sex are two completely different things. . .

RELATED ARTICLE:  Get Chaste: The Dawn and the Eden of a countercultural revolution  National Review Online, By Kathryn Jean Lopez, December 5, 2006
Dawn Eden, an editor at the New York Daily News and blogger with an eclectic background, is author of a new book published by Thomas Nelson called The Thrill of the Chaste: Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On. Eden’s tried it both ways, and in the book describes the life-changing experience that came with her decision to stop having lots of sex in the city. . .

• The Carrie Effect: Notes from the fontlines of the Marriage War (Pdf)   National Review- Cover Story, By Maggie Gallagher, August 10, 2009
  The headline on the story about a new CBS News/New York Times survey was interesting: "Poll: Support for Gay Marriage Dips." How fast and how far had support for gay marriage had to drop before a mainstream-media headline acknowledged it, even as a "dip"? Here's the answer: 9 percentage points. That's right: In just a few short months, support for gay marriage in this poll plunged 9 percentage points, from its all-time high of 42 percent to 33 percent. A reporter for New York magazine recently called me to ask about the cause of a similar abrupt drop in support for gay marriage in a poll of voters in New York State. "Did the National Organization for Marriage" -- of which I am president -- "cause that decline?" he asked. I suspect he wanted me to claim credit, to give him a more dramatic narrative. After all, if you run a large activist organization directly involved in politics, your professional obligation is to be a blowhard. (And indeed, the 2 million robocalls and the ad campaign NOM had launched must have helped.) But I turned in my professional-blowhard card by saying, "No, I really think that it was Carrie Prejean." The Carrie Effect? How can one beauty queen cause a swing of almost ten points in national polls on a hotly debated issue?. . . . . Culture consists of ideas. Ideas, like civilizations, can die out. They die when no one is willing to defend them out loud. Gay-marriage advocates are like the Borg: Resistance is futile, they repeatedly say. This is an ambitious and psychologically sophisticated strategy: If they say it often enough, maybe Americans will believe it. If Americans start to believe it, then it will be true. Despair is gay-marriage advocates' most powerful weapon, especially when it is fed by social conservatives' failure to create solid strategies of hope. In the marketplace of ideas, not all Americans are equal. Culture is created by elites. And gay-marriage advocates have decided that victory requires winning over not only liberal and Democratic elites, as powerful as they are, but conservative and Republican elites as well. When does a war end? When one side's will to fight is broken. This is true in culture wars, too. A culture shift is complete only when an idea becomes uncontested (and uncontestable) by good, decent, law- abiding, "normal" citizens. . .
  
  
  
  
  RELATED POLL: Support For Gay Marriage Dips    CBS News Blog, By Stephanie Condon, June 17, 2009
  The poll found 33 percent favor marriage for same-sex couples, down somewhat from a high of 42 percent in April, and another 30 percent support civil unions. A third of Americans think there should be no legal recognition of a same-sex couple’s relationship. . .
  
  
  RELATED POLL RESULTS:  Majority of Americans Continue to Oppose Gay Marriage    Gallup.com, By Jeffrey M. Jones, May 27, 2009
  Americans' views on same-sex marriage have essentially stayed the same in the past year, with a majority of 57% opposed to granting such marriages legal status and 40% in favor of doing so. Though support for legal same-sex marriage is significantly higher now than when Gallup first asked about it in 1996, in recent years support has appeared to stall, peaking at 46% in 2007. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  The Left's Attack on Prejean Continues   Townhall.com, By Jillian Bandes, May 09, 2009
  Left wing media outlets claim that Carrie Prejean’s conservative views on gay marriage are illegitimate because of two semi-nude photos taken of her when she was 17 and because one of her parents accused the other of being gay during their divorce proceedings. Prejean is talking with Miss California officials about the photos, which are considered inappropriate by contest rules. But how such photos, or the divorce proceedings, invalidate Prejean’s pro-family views are lost on conservatives.
  
  
  RELATED INFO:  Putting strategies to work: the homosexual propaganda campaign in America's media   MassResistance.org
  Read below: The powerful, sophisticated psychological techniques that the homosexual movement has used to manipulate the public in the media. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Selling Homosexuality to America   From Regent University Law review, By Paul E. Rondeau
  This article explores how gay rights activists use rhetoric, psychology, social psychology, and the media—all the elements of modern marketing—to position homosexuality in order to frame what is discussed in the public arena and how it is discussed. . . . The economics and education of homosexuals makes them prime players in a capitalistic society. Money means power, and education means the knowledge to use that power to gain more. Homosexuals have demonstrated they have access to the leadership in media, government, education, business and other centers of influence as well as access to capital. These are hardly traits of an oppressed minority. . .
  

• Gay Protests as Australia Affirms Gay Marriage Ban   New York Times- Reuters, August 01, 2009
  - Gay activists staged mock weddings across Australia on Saturday as the governing Labour Party voted against changing its ban on gay marriage. In the largest protest, about 2,000 people, many in bridal veils, marched on the Labour Party's national policy-making conference in Sydney, chanting "gay, straight, black or white, marriage is a civil right." Similar rallies and mock weddings were held in the southern capital of Melbourne and the Queensland city of Brisbane. "Of course, we are disappointed there has not been a movement forward on gay marriage," said activist Corey Irlam, adding he believed Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was swayed by church concerns, including from Australia's Catholic cardinal George Pell. Inside the Labour conference, 400 delegates earlier rejected changes to the party's policy, despite declaring strong opposition to discrimination against gay and lesbian people. "The prime minister has made it clear that a Labour government will not support any form of recognition of relationships that undermine marriage," Attorney-General Robert McClelland told delegates to the Labour Party conference. Rudd, a church-going Christian, has long opposed formal recognition of gay marriage and promised before he won power in 2007 that he would ensure national marriage laws would continue to define marriage as between a man and woman. Gay marriage remains illegal in Australia, but the states of Tasmania and Victoria, and the Australian Capital Territory, all allow a form of civil union, which gives gay couples similar rights to married couples. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Portugal's high court keeps gay marriage ban     Associated Press By Barry Hatton, July 31, 2009
  Portugal's Constitutional Court on Friday upheld the country's ban on gay marriage, rejecting a challenge by two lesbians who are seeking to wed. The court said its five judges ruled 3-2 against an appeal lodged by the women two years ago. . .
  
  
  RELATED ARTICLE:  Albania 'to approve gay marriage'   BBC News, By Mark Lowen, July 30, 2009
  Albanian Prime Minister Sali Berisha has announced his party will propose a law legalising same-sex marriage. It is an unexpected move in a country that is still one of the most conservative in Europe and where homosexuality was illegal until 1995. Mr Berisha acknowledged the proposed law might provoke debate but maintained that discrimination in modern Albania had to end. The bill was drawn up by a group of non-governmental organisations. It has been accepted by Mr Berisha's Democratic Party and will now come before parliament in the autumn. In a predominantly Muslim country with almost no open homosexual community, the announcement by a conservative PM has taken people by surprise. . . . . The reaction by Islamic and Catholic leaders has been vehement. Under the isolationist rule of Enver Hoxha, Albania was officially an atheist state. But since the fall of Communism almost two decades ago, religion has once again grown and its leaders' voices are influential. Albania, though, has set its sights firmly on the goal of European Union membership, and it seems this proposed law is aimed at showing Brussels a progressive new image. If it is passed in the autumn, it could move the country one step further on its European path. . .
  

RELATED ARTICLE:  Gay activists: Marriage secondary to basic rights   Associated Press, By Cheryl Wittenauer, July 30, 2009
Gay marriage and gays in the military may dominate the headlines, but activists in many states say their fight is much more fundamental: basic rights and protections against discrimination in employment, housing and public accommodation. . .

RELATED ARTICLE & COMMENTS:  Is The Gay Marriage Debate Over?
What the battle for traditional marriage means for Americans—and evangelicals .  Christianity Today, By Mark Galli, July 24, 2009
One could become wistful about the time in history when marriage was a settled affair, when everyone agreed on what it was, when no nation on the planet would have entertained the idea of legalizing same-sex marriage. But wistfulness is usually reserved for times long ago and places far away—not for a state of affairs that existed less than a decade ago. . . . . . . The depressing feeling of inevitability is precisely what advocates of gay marriage want to instill in their opponents. But relying as many do on historical determinism—"Side with us because we're going to win"—suggests that gay marriage advocates have run out of arguments. It also demonstrates historical amnesia. Arguments from historical inevitability have often been assumed by millions—to take two examples, the inevitability of Communism and the death of religion—and yet have proven to be wrong. Still, we are at our wits' ends about what to say next, impervious as the gay marriage juggernaut is. We know biblically and instinctively that "male and female he created them," and that these complementary sexual beings are designed to become one flesh. We know that this spiritual instinct and biblical argument will not make much headway in the public square. So what do we say?. . .

More "Marriage" News: July 2009

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