A MERE GLIMPSE: The REAL Proposal For Marriage magazine- Beyond White Lace & Promises

The Real Proposal™ magazine is neither "fluff," nor a "wedding planner." Indeed, The Real Proposal™ explores the spectrum of issues surrounding Marriage, and the resulting relationships that arise from dating, nesting, parenting, divorce, and yes, even sex, while recognizing that there are myriad social and political issues that must also be examined carefully and presented with truth. Often, this will mean daring to go against the prevailing liberal tide of our present pop culture and what may be considered expedient, or even "politically correct". Will we stir up controversy? Undoubtedly. In clear contrast with most newsstand magazines and other forms of media that seemingly abuse such concepts as "tolerance" and "grace" to the point of hypocrisy, The Real Proposal™ is firm in its commitment to present an alternate set of values, values that are appropriate, values that embody wisdom and plain good common sense. Revolutionary, in our day, if you think about it... and worth the fight!

There isn't a doubt in our minds that the timing is right to launch a publication like The Real Proposal™ magazine onto the national newsstands. Currently raging sociopolitical debates on the issues surrounding marriage—including the controversy over the Federal Marriage Amendment Bill, which seeks, constitutionally, to defend "Marriage" as between one man and one woman, thereby settling the issue regarding whether same-sex marriage, or even polygamy, constitutes a civil right—make it imperative for a compelling voice to rise up in the media to present truth, not just journalistic reporting, on the issues. We aim to be that voice. And it remains our steadfast belief that we cannot responsibly publish a magazine predicated on the issues surrounding marriage if we cannot define with any sense of integrity exactly what Marriage is. For us, that means one man, one woman in a covenant relationship... ideally, for life. Clearly, we have fallen a long way from that ideal, but does that mean, as a society, we should stop striving for those ideals and rewrite the rules to give legitimacy to our less-than stellar accomplishments?

What's more, the issues warrant a dedicated format. Why? Because the mere glimpses we present of the chaotic state of "Marriage" and "Family", by way of the alarming statistics (below) and through current newspaper articles and reports ("Marriage" In The News), are just the tip of the iceberg!

Globally, 70% of us still believe marriage is for life, and 75% say it is a lifetime goal (Especially in the USA)
For Catholic southern European countries, however, marriage today Is “Irrelevant, Not for Life, and Not a Lifetime Goal”
77% of Europeans believe a long-term stable relationship is just as good as marriage, but not so for 50% of Americans and Russians
Until 2003, sodomy was a criminal offense within most of the United States. Lawrence v. Texas had the effect of invalidating laws that criminalized sodomy between consenting same-sex adults acting in private
At September 2011, six (6) states recognize same-sex marriage: New York, New Hampshire, Maine, Vermont, Iowa, Connecticut and Massachusetts, plus Washingon DC. Such licenses are also granted to Oregon's Coquille and Washington state's Suquamish Indian tribes.
In May 2009, the California Supreme Court upheld Proposition 8, a ballot initiative that outlawed same-sex weddings, yet ruled unanimously that the estimated 18,000 same-sex marriages performed before the ban remained valid.
Since 2001, ten (10) countries — Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, The Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa and Sweden — currently grant marriage rights to same-sex couples on an equal footing with heterosexuals.
Same-sex marriages are also performed and recognized in Mexico City.
Some jurisdictions that do not perform same-sex marriages recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere: Israel, the Caribbean countries of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, parts of the United States, and all states of Mexico.

According to The Center for Disease Control FASTSTATS:
2009 Marriage rate: 6.8 per 1,000 total population
2009 Divorce rate: 3.4 per 1,000 population (44 reporting States and D.C.)

According to a NCHS Data Brief from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth:
Over 70% of men and women aged 25-44 have ever been married: 71% of men and 79% of women.
Non-Hispanic black men and women aged 25-44 have lower percentages who have ever been married than non-Hispanic white and Hispanic persons of the same age.
The probability that men will marry by age 40 is 81%; for women, it is 86%.
A larger percentage of women than men aged 35-44 have married by age 35.
Smaller percentages of non-Hispanic black women aged 35-44 have married by age 35 than non-Hispanic white or Hispanic women of the same age range.
Smaller percentages of non-Hispanic black men aged 35-44 who are below the poverty line have been married by age 35 than non-Hispanic black men of the same age who are at least 200% above poverty.
Between 1970 and 2001, the overall marriage rate in the US declined by 17%, but for African-Americans it fell by 34%
Number of divorces annually: 1,135,000 (1998); 1,163,000 (1997)
Number of divorced adults (1998): 19.4 million (9.8% of adult population); Males: 8.3 million, Females: 11.1million
50% of all first marriages end in divorce; 60% of second marriages end in divorce
43% of first marriages end in divorce within 15 years, 33% within 10 years, 20% within 5 years
Average length of first marriages, which end in divorce: 11 years
Median duration of all marriages: 7.2 years
Average age at first divorce: Males: 35 years, Females: 33 years
Eight out of 10 divorced people remarry. 50% do it within three years. 75% of women and 80% of men remarry within 5 years. A whopping 60% end up back in divorce court within 7 years.
Average age at second divorce: Males: 42 years, Females: 39 years
People aged 25 to 39 years make up 60% of all divorces (as of 1993)
Black couples are more likely to break up than white couples
More people are part of second marriages than first marriages
34% of married couples today in the United States have been married at least once
For women between the ages of 15-44, domestic violence is the most common cause of injury. Even within the church, 10:60 women are being abused verbally at home, and 3:10 are being abused physically.
Number of women who are stalked by a husband or ex-husband every year: 380,000
Number of men who are stalked by a wife or ex-wife each year: 52,000
Of Christians who have been divorced, 90% report that their divorce occurred after their conversion
In 2006, for the first time in U.S. history, a majority of all births to women < 30 — 50.4 percent — were out of wedlock. By comparison, when John F. Kennedy was elected president in 1960, just 6 percent of all births were to unmarried women < 30
More than a quarter of America’s children—nearly 17 million—do not live with their father
Number of children under 18 living with their grandparents (1998): 4 million (6%)
Almost 1:3 children born in the United States today is the child of an unwed mother
Estimated number of children involved in divorce each year: 1,075,000
50% of these children will grow up in families where parents stay angry
More than 50% of all children born in the 1990’s will spend part of childhood in a single-parent home
33% of U.S. ninth graders have had sexual intercourse; 47% of high-school-age teenagers have had sexual intercourse; and 75% of black high-school-age boys have had sexual intercourse. In addition, 12% of the 40,000 new HIV cases in the U.S. annually occur among people between age 13 and 24
African American women are the least likely in our society to marry
43% of African-American men and 42% of African-American women have never been married, vis-à-vis 28% and 20% respectively for Whites
Only 41% of African-American adults are married, vis-à-vis 62% Whites and 60% Hispanics
In 1998, 69% of African-American births were to unmarried women, vis-à-vis 25% Whites, 42% Hispanics. In 2006, 80% of African-American births were to unmarried women, vis-à-vis 33% Whites, 51% Hispanics (< 30 yrs)
55% of African-American children live with single parents, vis-à-vis 23% White and 31% Hispanic children
Children raised by single parents are more likely to drop out of high school than those of two-parent families
Children raised in single parent families have lower grades and school attendance
Children raised in single-parent families are more likely to become single parents
Divorcees exhibit lower levels of psychological well being than married people
Divorcees exhibit more health problems, greater risk of mortality than married people
Divorcees exhibit more social isolation, less satisfying sex lives than married people
Divorcees exhibit greater levels of depression and alcohol use than married people
Households headed by single mothers (2000) have increased 25% since 1990, to more than 7.5 million
Households headed by single fathers (2000) have increased 62% since 1990, to more than 2 million
The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse surveyed hundreds of children between the ages of 12-17 and found that only 25% reported living in a home where parents established and enforced rules. That leaves 3 out of 4 children living in a home with no rules, no guidelines, no deadlines, and no curfews. Out of that comes every statistic related to dysfunction from prolonged therapy to substance abuse to adult criminal activity.
One popular magazine asked its readers, “Which would you rather have: five extra hours a week at home, or ten thousand dollars a year?” 83% took the money.

According to the 3rd edition of "Why Marriage Matters", released in mid-August 2011, cohabitators report:
Just 50 years ago, only 439,000 unmarried couples were living together. In 2010, that number has skyrocketed to 7.5 million cohabiting couples. (U.S. Census Bureau)
More conflict, more violence, and lower levels of satisfaction and commitment in their relationships than married couples.
Married adults have lower rates of alcohol consumption and abuse than cohabitating adults do.
50% of children born to cohabitating parents see their mother’s start or end of a relationship before age 3, compared to just 13% of those born to married parents
Nearly one in six children (15.7%) in cohabitating families experience serious emotional distress compared to 3.5% of children with married parents (including adoptive parents).
Cohabiting mothers have higher rates of depression than married mothers do.
Adolescents in cohabitating households are more likely to engage in delinquent behavior than kids raised in a married household.
Preschoolers in a cohabiting household are 47.6 times more likely to die from abuse compared to child raised in an intact, married household.

According to the Center for Disease Control's National Center for Health Statistics:
By age 30, three-quarters of women in the U.S. have been married and about half have cohabited outside of marriage.
Unmarried cohabitations overall are less stable than marriages. The probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years is 20 percent, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49 percent. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent, compared with 62 percent for cohabitations.
Marriages that end do not always end in divorce; many end in separation and do not go through the divorce process. Separated white women are much more likely (91 percent) to divorce after 3 years, compared with separated Hispanic women (77 percent) and separated black women (67 percent).
The probability of remarriage among divorced women was 54 percent in 5 years — 58 percent for white women, 44 percent for Hispanic women, and 32 percent for black women. However, there was also a strong probability that 2nd marriages will end in separation or divorce (23 percent after 5 years and 39 percent after 10 years).

According to Infidelity Facts:
Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%
Percentage of "arranged marriages" (where parents pick their sons or daughters spouses) that end in divorce: 3%
Medical field(s) with the highest divorce rate: psychiatrists and marriage counselors
Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%
Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%
Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%
Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker: 36%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips: 36%
Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity (emotional or physical) with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law: 17%
Average length of an affair: 2 years
Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered: 31%
Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%
Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%

Additional Resources: