'MARRIAGE' NEWS- May 2006: The REAL Proposal For Marriage magazine

Saving a marriage: Spend, save or give?
Understanding your partner can save you a trip to divorce court MSNBC.com- Forbes.com, By Scott Reeves, May 31, 2006
Money in the bank gives you the warm fuzzies, but money in your spouse's pocket creates an insatiable urge to spend. The marriage needn't tumble off the personal finance precipice if you understand each other's response to money and learn how to accommodate it. "Our attitudes toward money are so deeply embedded that we tend to believe we are right and our partner is wrong," says Diane McCurdy, author of "How Much Is Enough? Balancing Today's Needs With Tomorrow's Retirement Goals." "Typical responses are: 'I'm a responsible adult and you're a spoiled child,' or 'I like to have some fun and you're a miserly killjoy.' If more couples understood how their partner feels about money, fewer would end up in divorce court." McCurdy says there are four basic attitudes toward handling money: saver, spender, builder and giver. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Talk About Money Forbes.com- By Scott Reeves, Apr 10, 2006

RELATED ARTICLE: Family (Financial) Planning Forbes.com- By Scott Reeves, Apr 15, 2005

RELATED ARTICLE: First Comes Love, Then Financial Planning Forbes.com- By Scott Reeves, Feb 9, 2005

Protect traditional marriage USA Today- By Wayne Allard (Sen. Wayne Allard, R-Colo., is the author of the Marriage Protection Amendment), May 31, 2006
. . . . . Unfortunately, the U.S. Constitution is being amended to reflect a new definition of marriage — not by democratically elected members of Congress, but by unaccountable and unelected judges. As a result, I introduced an amendment to the Constitution that simply defines marriage as the "union of a man and a woman," while leaving to state legislatures the freedom to address the question of civil unions and domestic partnerships. The amendment would not overturn current state and local laws dealing with these arrangements. Democracy and representative government are at the core of this debate. In 2004 and 2005, voters in 14 states overwhelmingly passed constitutional amendments protecting marriage. Today, 19 states have constitutional amendments protecting marriage, and 26 have statutes designed to protect traditional marriage. The will of the people is clear on this issue. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Just say 'I don't' Editorial/Opinion- USA TODAY, May 31, 2006

Education Linked to Better Fathers: Study Food Consumer, IL - HealthDay News- By Steven Reinberg, May 31, 2006
. . . . "The race differences are very striking," Martinez said. "We know that blacks are less likely to marry, so you would expect those births outside of marriage would be greater," she said. "About 50 percent of births to Hispanics were within marriage, 77 percent of births to whites were within marriage, but only 36 percent of births to blacks were within marriage," she said. Other data in the report show that among non-Hispanic black fathers, 25 percent fathered their first child before they were 20 years old; 19 percent of Hispanic fathers also became fathers as teenagers, and 11 percent of non-Hispanic white men became fathers while they were teens. But across all races, a dad's education still made all the difference. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: New study looks at men, fatherhood USA Today - By Sharon Jayson, May 31, 2006

RELATED STUDY: 2006 Media Advisory- Fertility, Contraception, and Fatherhood: Data on Men and Women from the National Survey of Family Growth National Center For Health Statistics, May 31, 2006

Joan Collins: 'A man is not a meal ticket'
Five husbands and four divorces have taught JOAN COLLINS a bitter lesson. . . The Daily Mail- By Joan Collins, May 30, 2006
Having had five husbands and four divorces I am, you might say, a veteran of the matrimonial courts. It was with much interest that I read the results of last week's two rulings which, according to legal experts, have yet again strengthened the hand of divorcing wives. They have certainly strengthened the bank balances of the women concerned. . . . . . . My own rather varied experience of the marital field has left me with firm views about the culture of 'entitlement', which the courts seem to be encouraging, even as the legions of silicone-enhanced gold diggers grow steadily more vast. In my case, the chancers and fortune-hunters have been men, which is perhaps less common. But male or female, my conclusion is the same: the only 'entitlements' we have are to the things we have worked for. Attempting to get rich on the back of a brief partnership is despicable behaviour. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Forget Prince Charming: Women Need to Save, Invest, Buy a Home Bloomberg - By Joan Oleck, Mar 28, 2006

Joan Collins: 'A man is not a meal ticket'

So Many Divorces, So Little Time!
TMZ picks the best of the breakups   TMZcom- By TMZ.COM STAFF, May 30, 2006
-- There were 16 celeb marriage splits in the last six months. Unusual, even for Hollywood. TMZ has done some digging. Here are the most interesting:

Jessica Simpson vs. Nick Lachey: TMZ has learned that the divorce is becoming bitter over money.
THE MARRIAGE: October 26, 2002
THE SPLIT: Jessica filed December 16, 2005
WHERE ARE THEY NOW: Sources tell TMZ that lawyers for Nick and Jessica have been trying to hammer out a settlement, but it is falling apart. We're told Jessica has offered significantly less than half of what Nick would be entitled to under California law. . .

Denise Richards vs. Charlie Sheen   Heather Locklear vs. Richie Sambora   Marshall Mathers (Eminem) vs. Kimberley Mathers    Paul McCartney vs. Heather Mills McCartney  Celebrity Divorces from A-pplegate to V-an Halen

Is a Submissive Wife the Key to a Happy Marriage?
Author Laura Doyle thinks so, and apparently a lot of people agree with her because this new bestselling book is flying off the shelves. About.com, May 30, 2006
With divorce rates reported at fifty percent in recent years, could the problem be that women no longer respect the man of the house? Maybe wives can simply learn to behave and all will be well. In her new, surprisingly popular and not surprisingly, controversial book, The Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle proposes that every woman should stop trying to control her husband, cease all criticism of him, learn not to interrupt and definitely apologize if she becomes "disrespectful.". . . . . If all this sounds positively ludicrous and antiquated, we have to wonder aloud why Doyle's book has already made Amazon's Top 10 list and proven itself a trendy seller in ultra modern cities like Chicago and Los Angeles. The controversy is heated, with no opinions falling to the middle of the road. . . . . Doyle herself was raised in California and cites her parents "equal" relationship full of torment and battles as one component in the revelation her book details. Initially, Doyle--a self-proclaimed feminist and "former shrew"--took after her mother, nearly ruining her marriage with nagging. Turning to friends and self-help books she says she soon realized that happy marriages were those with submissive wives. . . . .

Brangelina baby name translates to 'messiah' or 'peaceful one'

Brangelina baby name translates to 'Messiah'
Shiloh is the Hebrew word for 'Messiah and also means 'peaceful one' MSNBC.com- AP, May 30, 2006
Nothing was normal about the birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s child, so naturally, neither was their baby’s name. The child — whose pending arrival created a frenzy of hyperbole making it for some the most awaited baby since Jesus — was named Shiloh, which fittingly means “Messiah” or “Peaceful One.” . . . . In a statement to People magazine, Jolie thanked the staff of Cottage Medi-Clinic Hospital. Jolie’s obstetrician from Los Angeles, Dr. Jason Rothbart, told People that he delivered the child, weighing seven pounds, by Caesarean section “due to breech presentation.” Pitt, he said, “was with Angelina in the operating room the entire time and cut the umbilical cord of his daughter. The surgery and the birth went flawlessly.”. . . .

Gay marriage creates new conflicts for neighbors Town Hall, DC - By Maggie Gallagher, May 30, 2006
The story circulating on the Internet was hard to believe at first: A North Truro, Mass., volunteer fireman lost his position because he signed a petition opposing gay marriage? I was lucky enough to get Leo "Skip" Childs on the phone. Skip is the kind of guy who makes you ashamed of yourself, but very proud to be an American. He volunteers many hours in the tiny town of North Truro, repairing fire trucks, saving lives. . . . After five years, Skip thought his reappointment to the Board of Fire Engineers would be routine. . . . But two ideas are clearly now on a collision course in America: 1) There's something special about unions of husbands and wives, and 2) there's no difference between same-sex and opposite-sex couples, and only hate-filled bigots think otherwise. In Massachusetts, the second idea is now the official view of the law. . . . .
Ga. court to expedite gay marriage appeal Seattle Post Intelligencer - May 30, 2006
ATLANTA -- Georgia's highest court said Tuesday it would expedite its review of a ruling that struck down the state's voter-approved ban on gay marriage. A Superior Court judge earlier this month ruled that the ban violated the Georgia Constitution's single-subject rules for ballot questions because it addressed issues other than gay marriage, including civil unions. . . . . A statement from the Georgia Supreme Court released Tuesday said the court will hear arguments in the case on June 27. Seventy-six percent of voters in 2004 approved the constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages. . . .
Bible allows gay marriage, bishop claims PinkNews.co.uk, UK - By Marc Shoffman, May 30, 2006
The Bible supports same sex partnerships, a senior Church of England bishop has claimed. Reverend Richard Harries, Bishop of Oxford, has fuelled the Church’s row over gay marriage and gay clergyman by stating that traditionalists should be “converted” to see gay unions are allowed according to scriptures. . . . . His remarks were quashed by Reform, an evangelical group, Reverend David Banting said: "He thinks that he has the weight of culture and the weight of the majority of the Church in the West behind him, which convinces him that he's right. "Same-sex partnerships are not congruous with the Bible, sexual relations outside of heterosexual marriage are not blessed by God. "We need to be pastorally supportive of those who struggle in this area, but we shouldn't be trying to change the teaching of the Church. No amount of calling black white will make black white.'' . . . . . .
Poll: Boomers go easy on marriage USA Today- By Sharon Jayson, May 30, 2006
Baby boomers think more like their kids than their parents on love and marriage, a Gallup Poll reports Tuesday. Thirty-five percent of those ages 40-64 believe marriage is "very important" if a couple have a child together; 58% of adults 65 and older say so. Of those ages 18-39, 30% believe it is "very important." Overall, 37% of respondents believe a child is a "very important" reason to marry. "It's shocking in what it represents: that we're going to have more and more children growing up without the benefits of a two-parent family," says Howard Markman, co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. . . .

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Hilary asks gay activists for marriage amendment help Townhall.com- By Kevin McCullough, May 29, 2006
. . . . . So what is this innocent game of, "we just don't want federal law to over step its limits of power," routine she has been pulling with my listeners and those who call her office in recent weeks? Sad to say it’s nothing new. And important to point out that she is a candidate whose conviction on this matter is truly troubling. In one breath to callers from her state she assures them of her support for the institution of traditional marriage and how the states should have every right to protect it. In the next she is hosting backdoor conferences, making propositions in smoke filled rooms to advance the radical homosexual activist cause - yet she must go to the activists to learn how to make their case. . . .
Bloomberg Wants Same Sex Marriage Licenses 1010 Wins, NY - May 28, 2006
NEW YORK (1010 WINS) -- -- During his weekly Sunday radio address, Mayor Bloomberg announced that if the Court of Appeals does not rule in favor of the city issuing same sex marriage licenses, he will work with others in the city and state legislatures to establish a new law that establishes ‘marriage equality.’ "I believe all New Yorkers should have the right to marry whom ever they choose regardless of sexual orientation," said Bloomberg. The court of appeals is scheduled to takes up the issue of same sex marriage this week. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: New York court takes up gay marriage CNN.com- From Christopher Browne, May 30, 2006

Hilary asks gay activists for marriage amendment help

Gay agenda means less freedom for all Townhall.com- By Star Parker, May 29, 2006
. . . . Completing the picture of what seems reasonable to call a trend, the area of the population where support for same-sex marriage is strongest and growing is among young people. Time does not seem to favor those who want to preserve tradition. A more qualitative measure of this trend is to just listen to how the debate is cast. A Washington Post editorial opposing the Federal Marriage Amendment accuses Republicans of "picking on gays and lesbians." According to the Post, such an amendment would "discriminate against a class of people." So, along with the trend toward increasing acceptance of the idea of same-sex marriage has been the complete obliteration of the idea that homosexuality is a type of behavior as opposed to a state of being. The discussion has long disappeared that this is about attitudes regarding this behavior and it has become almost exclusively cast as discrimination claims against gays and lesbians . . . .

Who Was Mary Magdalene? Newsweek- By Jonathan Darman, May 29, 2006 Issue
. . . . Indeed, for all its revolutionary claims, "The Da Vinci Code" is remarkably old-fashioned, making Mary important for her body more than her mind. In the movie, we see a stricken, shadowy Magdalene with swollen belly being spirited out of Jerusalem by a crowd of attendant men. But we never hear her voice. "The Da Vinci Code" seems to think that the secret tradition of Mary Magdalene speaks to the carnal. In reality, it tells of something far more subversive: the intellectual equality of the sexes. The current Magdalene cult still focuses on her sexuality even though no early Christian writings speak of her sexuality at all. "Why do we feel the need to resexualize Mary?" wonders Karen King, author of "The Gospel of Mary of Magdala." "We've gotten rid of the myth of the prostitute. Now there's this move to see her as wife and mother. Why isn't it adequate to see her as disciple and perhaps apostle?" "The Da Vinci Code" especially misses the point about Mary when it makes its case that she was the bride of Christ. . . . .

The End of Motherhood?
But somehow the United States better mixes child rearing and the job market than do other advanced societies Newsweek- By Robert J. Samuelson, May 29, 2006 Issue
- Russian president Vladimir Putin has inadvertently spotlighted one of today's momentous mysteries: collapsing birthrates in industrialized countries. Putin proposed that Russia pay women to have children to remedy a "critical" population outlook. Actually, he might have said "desperate." . . . . . Russia's case, though extreme, isn't isolated. There's no more population "explosion." In wealthier countries, motherhood is going out of style and plunging birthrates portend population loss. This is a hugely significant development, even if we don't fully understand the causes—experts didn't predict it—or consequences. One way or another, the side effects will be massive for economics, politics and people's well being. Indeed, they may already have started. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Children for Sale: Would $36,000 convince you to have another kid? Slate.com, By Daniel Gross, May 24, 2006

Marriage merry-go-round New Straits Times- Malaysia News Online- By Kathirasen, May 28, 2006
WE may be moving full circle as far as marriage is concerned. And reel life might just become real life in the not-too-distant future. The signs are there: The changes occurring in gender relationships; the speed at which society, particularly urban society, is evolving; changing societal values and increasing divorce rates. . . . . At one time you were either married or unmarried. Today, you can be married or unmarried, have a live-in lover, be unattached but have partners now and then, or be in "a relationship". . . . . If that is not enough, gays and lesbians have thrown a major spanner into marriage as an institution. Coming out of the closet in droves in the West, they are seeking same- sex marriage and the right to be allowed to "raise" families. Several countries in Europe and some US States now allow this. And what if there are more than two partners in a marriage? Last September, The Netherlands allowed the "civil union" of two women with a man. . . . . . . Celebrities, on and off the movie sets, have children first and then decide to register their union. Or they just live together cooing about how great the other is for a few years before parting with no hard feelings. Juicy stories about celebrities and the erotic excitement sold by some movies and television shows have helped erode attitudes towards marriage. . . . . .We already have what I call "serial marryers", especially among those who practice polygamy. We will soon see more of them. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Forgot wives' names GG2.NET NEWS, May 21, 2006

RELATED ARTICLE: Here Comes the Brides- Plural marriage is waiting in the wings The Weekly Standard, Dec 26, 2005

RELATED ARTICLE: First trio "Married" in The Netherlands The Brussels Journal Online- By Paul Belien, Sept 26, 2005

All may be fair in love, but not divorce

All may be fair in love but not divorce The Sunday Times- UK- By Minette Marrin, May 28, 2006
. . . . Three sensational divorce rulings were announced last week. Two went in favour of non-earning wives. “Wives Win Out!” “Payday for the wives who stay at home!” “Landmark victory for ex-wives!”, cried the headlines. Melissa Miller and Julia McFarlane, whose faces were splashed all over front pages and television screens, were supported by the law lords in their settlement claims. . . . .“The Men Strike Back!” screamed one headline. “After those landmark divorce payouts for two ex-wives, British Airways pilot wins £3.5m from the lady of the manor”, and she will have to sell her pretty manor to find the money. The law lords’ findings were said to be the most important ruling for more than 20 years on the division of property upon divorce. And they were widely said to establish new principles, in a long overdue reconsideration of these painful matters. But I remain confused and unconvinced, in so far as I understand their rulings. . . . Try as I will, I cannot work out whether this includes assets brought into the marriage. Are they also fruits of the marriage and therefore the spoils of divorce? . . . . . .

How we split: It's not just divorcing couples. Now even unmarried partners are heading for the courts The Independent Online- Legal, UK, By Sophie Goodchild and Martin Hodgson, May 28, 2006
People who live together instead of getting married will get the right to share each other's money and property if they split up, under new proposals to be published this week. Rather than having to walk away with only the CDs they had in the first place, a change in attitudes would allow Britain's 4.4 million opposite-sex cohabitees to stake a claim for possessions acquired together and wealth that has been built up while in a relationship. . . . . "If you recognise the rights of same-sex couples who cohabit, then it cannot be right to discriminate against heterosexual couples in the same situation.". . . . The number of people getting married has fallen, and the number of marriages that fail has risen to one in three. Now 40 per cent of births take place outside marriage, which is four times more than was the case in 1986. The number of cohabiting couples who are living with children has gone up by 50 per cent since 1996, to 2.2 million. . . . . More than two million couples cohabit in England and Wales, though they still have fewer rights than married couples. Most have a mistaken belief in "common-law marriage", though no such thing has existed since 1753. . . .

As they preach on divorce, their readers may be falling off the straight and narrow
Real life gets in the way when newspapers try to hold the line on marriage The Independent, UK- By Peter Cole, Professor of Journalism, University of Sheffield, May 28, 2006
. . . . . Newspapers are seldom reticent about marriage and divorce, both staples of the celebrity coverage that so dominates the pages today. But they are less confident when handling "real" marriage and divorce. . . . . . Even the serious newspapers are less happy with shades of grey than with certainties, and found that taking a position on the Lords ruling was not a matter of voting on party lines. Left of centre: liberal on divorce, compensate the wife. Right of centre: defend marriage, make divorce harder, men have suffered enough. It was harder for the more liberal papers. . . .

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Don't despair. Some women pick partners for love not money The Independent, UK- By Robert Booth, May 28, 2006
As many as 10 million British women are ready to take over bread-winning duties from their partners in "a profound shift" in the ground rules for relationships. Research suggests that financial confidence among women has reached such heights that men who use the status of a powerful job and a fat pay packet to attract the opposite sex may be wasting their time. Almost half the women surveyed said they would be happy to be the sole bread-winner in a relationship, and nine out of 10 said they valued love and happiness over money in the dating game and relationships. . . . . . However, the survey also showed that 13 per cent of men felt intimidated, embarrassed or insecure dating someone who earned more than them, compared with 3 per cent of women. "It might sound fantastic to avoid the nine to five and play golf, but for a lot of men they feel they aren't contributing and don't feel 100 per cent male, particularly among friends. That can percolate into the relationship," said Denise Knowles, a Relate marriage guidance counsellor.. . .

Don't despair. Some women pick partners for love not money

CELEBS LAUGH OFF LOVE, MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE
SPLIT & MISS People.co.uk- By Rebecca Rampling, May 28, 2006
IT'S been a tough few weeks for Paul McCartney, with ex Heather Mills in line to scoop a staggering £200 million divorce settlement. And with multi-million pound splits in the news this week, it makes you wonder how celebs feel when they fall out of love. But if there's nothing you can do about it, you may as well laugh it off. REBECCA RAMPLING takes a look at some of the stars' thoughts on the great institution of marriage. . .

I SAID to the wife: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our road except one. And she said: I'll bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis at No 23. - Max Kauffmann. . . . .

SEE the problem is that God has given men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
I HAVE never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
WOMEN need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal. . . . .

A Pitt-Jolie Child Is Born E!Online- By Joal Ryan, May 27, 2006
And, lo, she has come to pass, the most celebrated of celebrity babies: Shiloh Nouvel Pitt-Jolie. Angelina Jolie gave birth to Shiloh, a girl, Saturday night in Namibia, a statement from Brad Pitt's publicist said. There were no details on how mother, baby and Pitt were doing. . . Shiloh is a name of Hebrew origin meaning, "His gift," per thinkbabynames.com. It also associated with an 1862 Civil War battle, and a Neil Diamond song about a desperately lonely childhood. (Diamond's imaginary friend, however, spelled his name "Shilo."). . . . .
It's a Baby Girl for Brangelina Washington Post- By Christopher Webwe-AP, May 27, 2006
LOS ANGELES -- The baby has arrived _ and no, they didn't name her Brangelina. Thousands of miles from Hollywood but still within easy reach of celebrity hype, Angelina Jolie gave birth to Brad Pitt's daughter Saturday in Africa, Pitt's publicist announced. "The night of May 27, 2006 in Namibia, Africa, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt welcomed their daughter Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. No further information is being given," publicist Cindy Guagenti said in a statement. No photographs were being released, she added. . . .

Wedding on water Telegraph.co.uk, United Kingdom - May 27, 2006
I didn't plan to get married on a cruise ship. In fact, I didn't plan to get married at all. So why was I standing nervously outside the chapel on Grand Princess, dressed in white, clutching a bouquet and waiting to meet Captain Andy, who was going to marry me to my long-time partner, Mark? The answer is that, having decided to tie the knot, we both liked the idea of doing something different. Caribbean beaches, palm trees and gazebos have been done to death, and saying "I do" while hurtling to the ground on the end of a bungee was really not our style. But being married by the captain at sea sounded all very Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn - remember The African Queen? - and certainly different, especially as Princess Cruises was the only cruise line in the world that could make it happen. . . . .

RELATED LINK: Marriage (Cruise) Lines

Five Fun Wedding Trends for 2006 Devil's Lake Journal, May 26, 2006
Teal bridesmaids' gowns? So last year. Bridal bouquet of red roses? Been there, done that. Platinum wedding bands? A classic choice, but there are trendier options. According to a report published by The Wedding Report, the $58.5 billion wedding market in 2006 is expected to boast 2.2 million weddings (a three-percent increase over last year), at an average cost of $26,400 (a 2.3 percent increase.) With staggering statistics such as these, no wonder that planning a wedding can be difficult - and expensive - work. Many brides- and grooms-to-be already have a firm grasp on their wedding plans and budgets. For those of you just starting to comb through bridal magazines, here are five trends you may want to consider when planning your big day:

* COLORS. While many colors will be popular this year, purple will prevail. TheKnot.com foresees a palette from pale lavender to deep eggplant, used in a variety of patterns on everything from bridesmaids' dresses and invitations to the wedding cake and cocktail napkins. . . . . . .

Parenting Issues: Too much TV for tots Townhall.com- by Brent Bozell III - May 26, 2006
The more Americans live the fast-paced, overworked life, the more their young children are over-entertained. It isn't that parents intend to introduce their children to the world by having them gaping blank-faced into a TV screen. But when there's work to be done or just noise to be muffled, parents can see the benefits of young children glued to the TV, quiet and still. At least that's how I would defend myself, if challenged to explain why my children watch more TV than they should. In the final analysis, however, this exercise in parental laxity is not only indefensible, it's now out of control. The Kaiser Family Foundation has just released a new study showing just how much electronic media has become a central focus in the lives of many of our youngest children. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Study: More parents use TV as an electronic babysitter USA Today- By Janet Kornblum, May 24, 2006

The divorce ruling strikes a blow at marriage The Times, May 26, 2006
Sir, Just what did Messrs Miller and Macfarlane think they were doing when they married their respective wives (report, May 25)? When couples marry they commit all that they have and all that they are to each other until death. This means that every material thing that they bring to the marriage belongs to their new spouse just as much as it belongs to them. The answer, the divorce lawyers tells us, is to sign a prenuptial agreement. This is wrong. Marriage must be entered into on the basis of its being a life-long, exclusive commitment. If there is any thought (much less intention) that this is not the case, then the couple are not ready to make that commitment. . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: The rewritten rules of marriage and divorce Times Online- Law, By Frances Gibb, May 25, 2006

RELATED ARTICLE: Wealthy? Don't get married, lawyers say Times Online- Law, By Alex Spence, May 24, 2006

Can I say something?
Soon-to-be spouse tells his side of the marital story Ledger-Examiner- By Pat Gillespie, May 26, 2006
For the last month, my fiancé, Erin Simpson, has been exposing all of our secrets to pre-marital (and eventually marital) success. She has also been misinforming the readers of the Columbus Ledger- Enquirer. First of all, pedicures are never a necessity, as she stated in her May 5 column. Secondly, poker with friends is worth every penny, especially when I would win every week, which may or may not be the truth. Seriously, though, the advice Erin has given is good for couples who are planning for a long life together. . . . Sometimes you just don't feel like having a long, drawn out discussion about much to spend on flowers and food for the wedding or how much to invest in a 401(k) plan. Who knows? But these are things that need to be done, don't put them off. But don't look just to the wedding, think long-term. Plan on how to get out of your current debt. Put that $20 for a movie into the savings account, take out $5 and rent a movie. Do that consistently and you'll make a difference. And think beyond the first five years. . . . .

Pat Gillespie_ Erin Simpson_Ledger-Examiner.jpg

Joined in Marriage and Finances Washington Post -By Michelle Singletary, May 26, 2006
— In Act II of George Bernard Shaw's "Man and Superman," the character Violet says, "You can be as romantic as you please about love, Hector; but you mustn't be romantic about money.". . . . . . I often find that some couples go to great lengths to complicate their financial lives in the name of romance. For example, here's a question I received from a San Francisco woman during an online chat recently:
"My fiance and I will be getting married this August and we plan to each keep one account separate (depositing 10 percent of our individual earnings each month or bimonthly). I know that you advocate the total combining of incomes in a marriage, but how else can we surprise each other with the occasional gift, birthday present without the other being tipped off by the online statement? We just wanted to know what you thought.". . . .

POLYGAMOUS UNION SPARKS SPLIT
Divided Utah Supreme Court Holds Lawrence Doesn’t Protect Plural Marriages American Bar Assn. JOURNAL eReport -By Stephanie Francis Ward, May 26, 2006
The Utah Supreme Court has upheld the bigamy conviction of a polygamist but split over whether the landmark U.S. Supreme Court ruling in Lawrence v. Texas reaches beyond consensual sex between same-sex couples. The court rejected the appellant’s argument that a law prohibiting plural marriages violates his constitutional privacy rights. And though lawyers may take opposite sides on the case, several agree that its arguments may have an effect on the legal battle over same-sex marriage. . . . In his appeal, Holm argued the state bigamy law should be struck down under Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558, the 2003 ruling that found sodomy laws unconstitutional. The majority in Holm’s appeal disagreed, finding that Lawrence only applies to private, consensual sexual acts involving adults of the same sex. The Utah opinion notes that Lawrence specifically exempts minors. . . .

The Dangers of Same-sex "Marriage" BreakPoint.org- By Regis Nicoll, May 26, 2006
. . . Before we examine the societal effects of gay “marriage,” we need to set the record straight about the moral teachings of Jesus. . . . Consider Jesus’s conversation with adulterous woman. Jesus didn’t treat her as a poor creature helplessly controlled by her earthly desires. He treated her as a free moral agent capable of choosing a different way to live. Consequently, He didn’t give her the false compassion of tolerance toward her lifestyle. Out of true compassion, He showed her the way out of her broken condition by challenging her to “go now and leave your life of sin.” This is a helpful pattern for us. . . . Next is the claim that homosexuality is an inherited trait. . . . . Even if we accept that sexual preferences are genetically determined, sexual behaviors are not—unless, that is, we take the low view of man as a genetic robot. . . . .The real question for the Christian is whether a genetic link really matters. . . .

If gays marry, churches could suffer CHICAGO TRIBUNE By Douglas W. Kmiec, Professor of Constitutional Law, Pepperdine University School of Law, May 26, 2006
. . . . . The Feingold-Specter tiff illustrates the intensity of feeling about adding to the text of the Constitution what the founders surely thought was obvious: "Marriage in the United States shall consist only of the union of a man and a woman." The need to reaffirm the self-evident was prompted by Massachusetts' judicial recognition of same-sex marriage, which motivated more than a dozen states to overwhelmingly proclaim otherwise. With the states being so vigilant in defense of traditional marriage, is there really a need for the people to act? Yes. . . . While it may be inconceivable for many to imagine America treating churches that oppose gay marriage the same as racists who opposed interracial marriage in the 1960s, just consider the fate of the Boy Scouts. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Banned in Boston:
The Coming Conflict Between Same Sex Marriage and Religious Liberty Cover Story- The Weekly Standard, By Maggie Gallagher, May 15, 2006 Issue

Zombie killers a.k.a. 'queering the social'

Zombie Killers A.K.A., “Queering the Social” NATIONAL REVIEW ONLINE- By Stanley Kurtz, May 25, 2006
. . . . Still confused? Then I’ll make my point succinctly: Gay marriage undermines marriage. You see, it turns out that this decidedly conservative observation is entirely consistent with the views of some of the most influential sociologists in Europe (and their followers here in America). I’ve been quoting and paraphrasing these prominent sociologists to show that I’m far from the only one who connects same- sex marriage with the decline of traditional marriage. Of course, “hip-and-happening” left-leaning sociologists would be loathe to put the matter precisely the way I do. For fear of scaring the public away from still more change, they’d be careful not to offer a detailed causal case showing that gay marriage undermines marriage. Above all, Europe’s sociologists (and their American fellow travelers) actually celebrate and promote the decline of the traditional family that is signaled and advanced by same-sex marriage. But strip away the jargon, drop the element of celebration, and it turns out that conservative opponents of same-sex marriage and some of Europe’s most influential sociologists are saying much the same thing: Same-sex marriage doesn’t reinforce marriage; instead, it upends marriage, and helps build acceptance for a host of other mutually reinforcing changes (like single parenting, parental cohabitation, and multi-partner unions) that only serve to weaken marriage. . .

'Triumph for man' as pilot wins divorce appeal Times Online- Law, UK- By Michael Herman and PA, May 25, 2006
A former British Airways pilot declared a "small triumph for man" today as judges ruled his £900,000 pension should not be treated as an ordinary asset in a divorce settlement. A panel of judges at the Court of Appeal awarded Philip Martin-Dye a further £650,000 on top of the £3 million he has already received in his divorce settlement. Mr Martin-Dye, who rented a room in his wife’s home before marrying her, appealed over whether his pension should be treated as an asset, similar to a property, when dividing the marital wealth. Unlike a property or portfolio of shares, a pension cannot be sold for cash. . . . . In what lawyers are calling the most significant divorce rulings in 20 years the House of Lords yesterday found in favour of two ex-wives of wealthy husbands awarding them substantial financial settlements. . . . .

Interracial partner not welcome at wedding

Interracial partner not welcome at wedding San Bernardino Sun, CA -By Michael Stone, May 25, 2006
DEAR MICHAEL: My name is Lucy, I am black and live in The Netherlands. I have been married once. I have been single since the death of my husband almost 10 years ago. I have no children. After many years of being alone, I met someone. He is 54 years old and not black. He has two children, ages 25 and 21. We met at a sporting event in January 2005. Three months later, we decided to be friends and ever since we have been together. We attend all family events and visit all members of his family including his children. Last Christmas, his son sent him a Christmas card addressed to him alone. He saw that I was not pleased. He confronted his son. The matter ended. This year, his son sent him a wedding invitation with a note requesting that I remain at the background. Could this be racial on the part of his son? . . . .

Marriage should be serious business Telegraph.co.uk- By Rachel Simhon, May 25, 2006
. . . Attitudes have changed to such a degree over the past 40 years that living together is commonplace and easy, and the concept of "living in sin" so laughably quaint as to be greeted with absolute incredulity by anyone under the age of 25. Therefore, the fact that anyone actually bothers to go through with a marriage ceremony these days speaks volumes about how much value people still place on the institution, this very public statement of intent - and consequently, how devastated they are when all that confetti and optimism end in the divorce courts. . . . Married couples are partners in the strictest sense, not the trendy euphemistic sense. And how they contribute to that partnership - whether by earning most of the money or giving up work to bring up the children or making short-term sacrifices to allow the spouse to build a business - is considered to be of equal value. . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Landmark victory for ex-wives Telegraph.co.uk- By Catriona Davies and Joshua Rozenberg, May 25, 2006

RELATED ARTICLE: Balancing fairness and compensation Telegraph.co.uk- By Joshua Rozenberg- Legal Editor, May 25, 2006

RELATED ARTICLE: Divorce should be the exception not the rule Telegraph.co.uk, May 25, 2006

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Landmark victory for ex-wives Telegraph.co.uk- By Catriona Davies and Joshua Rozenberg, May 25, 2006
Wives are entitled to a fair deal on divorce, Britain's highest court ruled yesterday. For the first time, women who sacrifice their careers for the benefit of their families will be able to seek compensation from wealthy husbands - rather than just enough to live on. The same principles will apply to house-husbands who stay at home to bring up children while their wives go out to work. The law lords ruled that two women were entitled to multi-million-pound settlements from their former husbands. The House of Lords also slammed the lid on the growing tendency of judges to investigate who was to blame for the breakdown of a marriage. . . . Family Law in Partnership, which acted for the other successful ex-wife, described it as a "ground-breaking" ruling. "Until today," the lawyers said, "maintenance for a stay-at-home mum was based purely on her living costs. Now judges must consider 'contribution' and 'compensation'." . . . .

RELATED ARTICLE: Wealthy? Dont get married, lawyers say Times Online, By Alex Spence, May 24, 2006

The Biggest Lies About Marriage ABC News.com, May 24, 2006
— There are a lot of lies out there about marriage that prospective brides and grooms, newlyweds, and long-married couples believe. Psychologist Robin L. Smith debunks many of them in her best-selling book, "Lies at the Altar: The Truth About Great Marriages." Smith's book includes 276 questions for people to ask themselves and their partner if they're thinking about getting married, or have been married for years and are looking for a new road map. Here are four of the biggest lies Smith says people tell themselves — and others — about marriage.

No.1: The past is over.

The truth is that the past is driving you to the chapel or the temple or the synagogue. Until you deal with the past, it will follow you. It's like luggage that you pack and you think you can leave in one city. When you arrive in the next one, your luggage is there too. You can't just get rid of it. . . . .

RELATED: BOOK EXCERPT: 'Lies At The Altar' By Dr. Robin L. Smith

Rush to marriage turns into disaster Biloxi Sun Herald, USA - May 23, 2006
Dear Annie: I am 26 years old. Six months ago, I married a man I've been dating since I began college. This is the only serious relationship I have been in. The problem is, I have always had major doubts about our relationship. I know I "settled" because I wanted the whole marriage-and-children thing. I am hardly attracted to my husband, and worse, embarrassed by him because he is socially awkward. We agree on a lot of things, such as parenting (we do not yet have children), but sometimes I'm afraid I made a terrible mistake by marrying him. To compound the problem, I have cheated on him with three different guys. A divorce would devastate my husband, who not only has baggage from his own parents' divorce, but also is very much in love with me. I also don't want to disappoint my family and his. I'm afraid I will always be looking for affairs. Please help. I have no one to turn to, since all my friends know the co-worker I am having an affair with. Staten Island, N.Y. . . . .

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